The Countdown to Thirty

TCT30 1 year anniversary!!!

2007-03-08T14:34:00.000-06:00

Its true today officially marks the 1 year anniversary of a day that started with me saying "man this day is dragging.... maybe ill waste some time on the internet."

In honor of this event we have clicked a new template for the blog!!! WOW!! Hey remember there used to be ad's on the site??? Well there gone!!! They did generate me a mighty $2.37 so thanks as always to my readers. It was a hard decision but no I think I'll put off retiring on that and keep blogging for another year. Aw screw it this years pro bono!! Hapiness for all.

Last night Me and Jayson held a debutante mixer in order to celebrate the anniversary here's a pic.

The President even took a few moments to present Jayson with a medal and a wedding gift!!

A special thanks to all who attended.

Never as good as the original

What is a one year anniversary without a recap show? Sure I could have wracked my feeble brain to give you some fresh content for an entire column but heck some time you just need to actually get some work done while your in the office. Here now in a non nonsensical order I present to what many would say are some links to unexceptional writings of mine.

5 out of 4 American's do not understand fractions
The Pro's and Con's of being late to the party
The Art of Taking a Compliment
How to write for the Internet
Facts and Tragedies
The opening paragraph of my novel
I the Sea Captain

Things to hate
I'm not sure how it happens, but once in a while a restraunt manages to provide everything that i wouldn't want in the form of cuisine, service and decor. Today I submit into the official DO NOT WANT archive. CheeseBurger in Paradise. This restraunt licensed but not owned by Jimmy Buffet, greets you with soft island music. Enjoy your moment because as soon as you enter you'll realize that it was all a ruse. You are the sucker and now your money will be theres. Yes gaze upon our walls filled with palm trees painstakingly airbrushed and all colored neon pink. Giving the entire place a Miami Vice dead stripper vibe.

The food you ask? Well it seems at almost every place there are things that can't be screwed up. 1 would be the American Cheeseburger and fries. How did they managed to ruin this meal you might ask? Well stale bread and funky over cooked fries pretty much end your hope of not looking for some scope after consumption. Oh and throw in an immensely over sweetened under boozed mixed drink and you have your self a triple threat!!!

Even more embarrassing is that this was a second excursion after having a simmillar experience several months ago. Therefore I officially enact the Fool me once, Shame on you, Fool me twice, complain on the internet, clause. Cheeseburger in Paradise I do not want....

Sean Connery is better than you....

He is indirectly responsible for more pregnancies than alcohol.

He has more money than Scrooge Mc Duck, God, and the Monopoly Guy combined.

He only uses the internet so Google can ask him questions.

The Wisdom of Arcade Fire

Just because you've forgotten, doesn't mean you're forgiven.

Much Love

To anyone who has read, used to read or still regularly checks in on my corner of the intraweb. It has been a fun year, and as I get older and lamer I hope I still add a brief smile to your day.

There are always two sides

2007-03-07T13:27:00.000-06:00

Each day i find myself working to silence the chorus of voices in my head. Lately its come down to these two guys:
. 26 going on 40 Business Nerd

Faux Trendy Hippie stoner

Well its hard to wrangle these two into a sit down session so I asked them a few questions so we can compare and contrast their individual agendas for life at this time.

Things to do?

26go40bn:
1. We need to make more money. Plain and simple. Either we see more cash in 3 months or its time to walk.
2. Keep the faith man! Life downsizing is the key to later gains. Lets see... you haven't bought cigarettes or lunch in several days! These are useless expenses! And i noticed your working out in the mornings good for you!! Remember 65 year old you is cheering you on each minute your on that workout machine!!
3. Learning a foreign language looks great on a resume AND you can always look like a snobby elitist jerk when you respond to someone in a foreign tongue and then sigh when they don't under stand you!
4. Get your 6 sigma or degree or start your MBA one or the other brother it starts this year!!

Well wow you can see that guy has a lot on his plate and in his mind. Well I'm sure the other fellow has a rousing agenda!

FTHS:
1. I really want to learn to juggle!!!
2. Everyday I will remind you that doing drugs was a ton of fun!!
3. Even though your not hungry you should eat candy.
4. If you dont start grinding rep all your gaming buds will pass you by!! Seriously where are your priorities?

Well I can't blame him for wanting to learn the mystical art of juggling it is pretty cool.

So guys what is the big bright spot right now in your world?

26go40bn: In ten or less months we will have freed up a weeks worth of pay in monthly expenses. Those fund are going to immediately go into savings and paying off other debt!!
FTHS: Did you see the photo and vids from the latest ready to wear collection from John Galliano? His genius is beyond words. Oh and if you havent't listened to the new Arcade Fire album your clearly a waste of ear holes.

Any thoughts on recent politics?

26go40bn: Are you kidding me? Elections are still what? 20 months away? If I want drama and intrigue Ill watch the Shield. Scripted television at leasts serves the purpose of diverting our attention from the affairs of people we dont even know.
FTHS: FREE LIBBY!!! I can't believe he took the fall! Hes nothing but a patsy! Obama in 08!
Anything but Hillary!! Gulliani will have trouble overcoming the doubts in the mind of the conservative Christian demographic because of his affair and McCain is kind of like the cool Uncle that let you hold a gun when your mom wasn't lookin!!

Well I appreciate your time guys any final thoughts for me?

26go40bn: For the love of all that is good and Starbucks please stick to your recent trend of getting your lazy ass off the couch!!
FTHS: Dude!! You should blog at work more often! Maybe you can return to that time in '06 when you were entertaining!

One day closer to obsolete

2007-03-05T17:22:00.000-06:00

Just a gentle reminder that you should probably not skip an opportunity to improve yourself. Everyday is an opportunity and should be treated as suck.

Today I chickened out on confronting a boss. I have been planning this little escapade for 3 business days now. I keep finding reasons, be it work or leisure that dissuades me from going and accomplishing this task. It is a new concept and this feeling of nervousness is so foreign I seem to do everything in my power to avoid the sensation.

But sense I must. Sigh.. and it seemed like such a good idea to quit smoking this week. I'm knocking back mini candy bars like a college kid with a fresh prescription of vicodin. Sigh... and it seemed like such a good idea to lose weight this week.

Happy Monday.

The kids are alright

2007-03-01T10:57:00.000-06:00

Interesting article off the Red Eye link

It appears that sales of hip hop artists are in a solid decline over the last year. All things are cyclical hip hop was the mainstream over the last several years. Now something will fill its place. The question is what? If you know the answer now is the time to get on board and spread the word so you can be a front line indie hipster.

From the small sampling of folks i know that would still be considered MTV prime age. It seems that musical tastes tend to go from Screamo/Emo to basically pansy pop (see Mr. Timberlake) what do parents think when their 14 year olds are chanting that they are bringing sexy back? Do you even know what sexy is? So it appears that the genre stage is reached a strange plateau as everyone listens to everything.

Two things can happen here either music will start raising the bar or we are in for a few years of fairly bland music. Some would say that popular music has been bland for several years now. It isnt hard to make a case for either side.

Maybe just maybe it is time for Eddie Murphy to return to the musical stage and save us all...

Hump day is all about learning.

2007-02-28T12:45:00.000-06:00

As a former 8th grade thief i can appreciate this new sport.

Al Gore owns you all

2007-02-26T11:30:00.000-06:00

Why is it that every time this guy is at an awards show he gets jokes written for him? We get it hes funny. Yes we never saw it before when he was a politician. You were right we were wrong. Fine lets just put him in the white house. Hes funny.

Anyways, a boring weekend as the wifes health slowly made its comeback. So i sat inside alot. Observed snowfall patterns. Witnessed an opossum find its way into my back yard. I also considered working out. Darn it though!! I just couldnt find the time during my day snowed in with a sick wife and nothing on the television. Sigh. Its gotta come from the heart ya know. But lately the only time i work out is from self loathing. Which i think is in the wrong spirit. I'm not on that elliptical to improve myself. I'm there to punish myself for being a lard ass.

The best part of my lazy saturday with the sick wife was an actual enjoyable SNL. I'm sure you missed it as you were out at your parties sipping your martinis. So if you did enjoy.

Conan still the king

2007-02-22T13:19:00.000-06:00

It could be worse

2007-02-19T09:35:00.000-06:00

Yeah its Monday. Yeah you're back at work. Yeah its a LONG way till the weekend. but believe me... believe me... it could be worse.

So the next time you look at that person driving by in their foreign sports car. Or making that turn into the rich neighbor hood that you wish you lived in.

Just remember.

Were all just seconds away from crazy.

Yeah i kind of ditched you

2007-02-16T15:57:00.000-06:00

So I sat there, crying my salty tears as the Bears lost and began to doubt the validity of all that is good and true in my life. Work was working me. Life was living. And blogs were the last thing on my mind. Heck i stopped looking at my site hits which was all that sustained my fragile ego. Well im not coming back full time but like that neighbor that peeps in your window ill be around.

To sustain you for today

Happy 2007!

2007-01-30T12:24:00.000-06:00

As the fiscal year for retailers draws to a close, I trust you're about to make some lasting resolutions. I know I have, and I know Brandon has, too. I think his resolution was to forget the password to his Blogger account. Also, I think Brandon is busy running his cow man around in some Outer land fighting pixel demons. Such a busy year for everyone!

I don't have any anecdotes, but I'll share a link to an interesting story:
Virtual Gold Could Draw Real Taxes
It's about the IRS wanting to tax monetary gains made in MMOs. What a time to be alive!

Weathered

2006-12-20T16:23:00.000-06:00

So it seemed that I can't avoid disasters. My loves hard drive decided to give up the ghost at an inopportune time. Work was pounding me down with an absurd amount of tasks to complete before winter vacation. All in all this has been one of the most difficult two month stretches of my life. Each day seeming to bring a new pile on of challenges and defeats.

I think things had gone so well in the past that I had forgotten what it was like to not have things go your way. This Monday was the first date in a while where i realized.... wow this all worked out. And it was a good feeling. A feeling i missed. And now a feeling im more grateful than ever to have.

When things are down it is so hard to hold onto that optimist. And the two past months have been the definition of when it rains it pours. I probably wont be posting again for the rest of the year. So i want to tell you. If its been raining on ya for a couple of days to a couple of years. Dont give up and stick to your principles. If you find that your plans have failed adjust them but don't lose the dream.

Have a happy New Years.

The Jitters

2006-12-14T10:54:00.000-06:00

It’s been a strange week. Work has slowed down to the point of almost a crawl. Which is good and bad. Also this week I decided to stop smoking. No slow down, no gradual removal. At 8am this Monday morning I just decided to stop. Cold turkey. I can tell ya that the last 24 hours have been pretty hard. Today I am particularly shaky, jittery and I have a ripping head ache. And as I said before work is slow. I was hoping to get lost in some great diversion. But it seems to be one of those rare weeks where I basically am just picking some random loose ends and running with it.

I’m also trying to get some personal finance matters in order which has been nothing short of uber frustrating. Why is it that just two years ago I was able to make a phone call and have my wife’s student loans consolidated in 15 minutes. Now I have to go through a series of ridiculous steps. At least they seem ridiculous compared to how it used to be. Sigh. The more I write about this the more I’m obsessing about smoking so I’m going to stop. See ya’s around.

5 out of 4 Americans do not understand fractions

2006-12-07T12:26:00.000-06:00

A very action packed and busy week this one is. A lot of arranging collecting researching design implementing type of stuff. And that was just trying to get my WoW to work post patch!! Ah it’s a rough life!!!

Lots to cover lets get rolling…

The Jury is still out on Science

Apparently the green onions used by Taco bell on the east coast was contaminated with Ecoli. For now there is no chance that you can receive green onions with your meal at any location. I think the big story hear is that science has confirmed that the green onions found in Taco bell tacos were actually a natural plant not some rubber by product crafted in China. Sad Panda!!!

Science continued to rock our faces off this week by discovering that there may have been or still be water on Mars. Is it wrong that after I read this I looked into buying land on mars? Martian Mineral Water…. Should sell like hot cakes. Now the only question remains on how to attach a canteen to a dog’s neck and shoot him up there.

When good isn’t good enough

There are few moments in a sports franchise history where it seems the stars align. It began with an uber easy schedule. It continued with a defense returning to full health. It picked up steam as a draft pick meant for special teams turned into a star. Opponents collapsed around them. An air of invincibility surrounded them. In fact they have barely had any challengers. The one hurdle that remains. The one thing that causes us die hards to loose a couple winks of sleep each night. Inconsistency at QB.

Man this kid started out SO hot early this year. But the cocky gunslinger is a lot less appealing when he starts trying for TD’s on every throw. I empathize with the guy. He wants to be the hero. He wants to silence the critics and the boos that now rain down on him simply by him taking the field. The problem is that he is in a land of desperation. If the bears had won a championship within the last couple of years a guarantee the patience level would be higher.

In example. This year Brian Anderson started playing center field for my beloved White Sox. He stunk. He stunk out loud. And the more people got on him, the more he started adding that uppercut to his swing. He was firing for the fences hoping to smack that one ball clear out of the stadium that would shut up the critics and turn the heat off him or at least onto someone else. Well we stuck with this dude all year. Why? He clearly was underperforming at his position. It’s desperation and that’s an intangible that the Sox did not have last year. And that’s why an underperformer like Anderson was able to hover below the radar.

Now we see Rex and believe me I am rooting for the kid all out. It would please me to no end to see this kid play out the rest of the year in the same fashion he started it. However, more than I want the Rex to succeed I want the Bears to succeed. And that’s why we have to give Griese a shot. If only to look at all options before we take the field for the games that really matter.

Oh, and Cedric Benson is a tank.

The biggest most importantest news!!!

The new season of The Shield is 33 days away!!!

Trailer Trash

Go check out trailers at http://www.apple.com/trailers/

The Simpson: - It’s a clever trailer. But this is nothing more than a Dvd Purchase to me.

Hostel 2: - Creepy German overdub!!! Probably will pirate this one just like the last one.

Bug: - Brain Eating Bugs. I think the only thing eating my brain after watching this film will be the lingering pain of two hours lost.

Smokin Aces: - Admittedly I am intrigued. The only problem I see is that I’m not sure if this is a goof or a serious film. My guess is goof rather than a Lock Stock and two Smoking Barrells. Probably piracy at best.

Looks like there are few reasons to visit the theater any time soon. But there is some hope in the theaters right now…

For your Consideration

Best of the pretentious series since Dog Show. However I think the formula is wearing thin. I think they had a genuinely funny idea and script but some of the roles just seemed to be done so blandly and almost too many roles felt like cameos. Just to give the type of nerd who watches the films that unexplainable rush when he see a familiar face in a film. Oh my gosh its that guy! LOLOLOL. Anyhow it’s a good funny film. Probably will be funnier the second time I watch it. I hear that it may be the last from that ensemble which is fitting considering the material. I don’t think they could pull off a better good bye.

Why I am paranoid

It comes to my attention that this week a plane was diverted due to the scent of smoke or matches lingering in the cabin. Rightfully so the plane was quickly landed and people were questioned while the plane was searched. It was then that it came out. Apparently a passenger had started lighting matches in order to cover up the odors that their body was producing.

In their defense: The passenger did have a medical condition…..
Objective response: Matches!! Fire!! Are you nuts!!!!!

In their defense: Have you ever had someone throw up on a flight? You’ll be begging for some matches after an hour of that….
Objective response: Matches!! Fire!! Are you nuts!!!!! You’re on a plane!!!!

Billboards don’t lie

I watched the billboard music awards. Here’s a list of 10 things I remembered

Janet Jackson opens. And doesn’t even try to pretend that she just might sorta possibily be almost nearly singing. At least have the class to hold a mic over your mouth Janet. That’s the way the pros do it. Aint that right Bono.
Well thank God that’s over on to our next person to yap…. Ah crap here comes Kid Rock. For someone with kid in his moniker he sure is not aging gracefully. But I guess he was never a healthy looking dude to begin with.
And now a performance by Fergie. I appreciated her rapping it’s a lot like Gwen Steffani’s minus talent grace vocals and beauty.
And now a performance by Gwen Steffani which was a lot like Fergie’s minus the plastic surgery.
Aw nice here comes Sulu!! Seriously he inspires me to wear white eye shadow and talk in a creepy voice. Can you imagine him ordering at McDonalds? I did and then I laughed through whatever it was he talked about.
When did “The Fray” become popular? Their song isn’t even that strong. I do appreciate his throw back to grunge delivery of lyrics. Not my favourite thing when a crooner piano ballad guy is incomprehensible except for his tagline. I’m going with some form of palsy as the resolution to this question.
I always wondered if people who sing in that incomprehensible manner are equally hard to talk to. If Tom Yorke from Radio head and Mush Mouth from Fat Albert sat down at a table would world peace result?
Out of no where its time to honor Tony Bennett. Who is the only Bennett I know that can actually sing. Oh TAG!!!
Tony B. is a classy dude and well dressed. He said some kind things to his fans I wish he would have sung a song and sent us all to bed happy. Instead we get..
To close the show it involved Kid Rock ZZTop and Nickleback.

Kid Rock – I humbly admit I enjoyed his debut but yeah I enjoyed eating finger paint as a child as well. We all make mistakes.
ZZTOP – Hearing them on classical rock radio reminds me that it’s time to change the dial.
Nickleback – Canadas worst import since Jayson J.

Final Thoughts

If you aren’t fighting the power at age 21 you’ve got no soul.
If you haven’t sold out by age 30 you’ve got no sense.
Your getting old when Saturday house parties begin to be referred to as “dinner parties”

So Much Content Is waiting for you!!!

2006-12-06T16:19:00.000-06:00

...... later this week.

Not today. Nope I've got more guns to my head than a lost nun in Detriot.

I cross my fingers behind my back promise to bring you a column this week.

Until then be amazed by this video discussion on levitating dead girls by MR. ????

Revisit the Retro

2006-12-04T16:14:00.000-06:00

So this weekend I found myself smoking in a garage as incense burned and attractive folk sat around in dirty couches talking away an idle winter evening. It was clearly as if someone had stuffed me into a time machine and sent me to ten years ago. Strangely this past has resumed its reign as my present. The difference??? Children. It was a joyful surprise when I first learned that our friend would have kids. Now we can see the changes. Have a cig? Don't mind if I do? Oh thats right smoke in this garage, keep the smell contained and your voice down the kids are right next door. So that strike one.

Strike two. It wasn't but just last year we were living the good life. What are you doing for new years? Oh nothing? How about we fly to Vegas? Why? Just to fly to vegas thats why!!!

This year. Yes why dont we go to phoenix for spring break. Oh that sounds great oh and lets get a cruise going this month. Sounds exceptional. Oh im going to have to see if i can get a babysitter.......... WOW. I mean frickin wow man. Kids!!! Kids!!! Now almost in sympathy we should share the burden. Why should 1 couple be screwed? Lets all tie ourselves down and share in the misery and joy. Ah freedom. I feel that i am clutching to your fingertips hanging above a chasm. The question is, are you the Stalone from the opening moments of Cliffhanger or the closing? Either way, theres no chance that I will go see the new Rocky film unless i get VERY drunk before hand.

And that my friends was the greatest literary segue known to man. Now for a quality pun title.

St(alone) in a theater...

Are you going to see this? Should this have ever been green lit? The only reason to watch in my opinion would be to hear Stalone use street slang and see how good of a shape he actually got into. Speaking of which lets just give kudos where kudos are due.

Stalone is better than you...

He's like 95 years old and hes got a 6 pack. Suck on that twenty somethings with a pooch!! This dago that wont quit or go to a speech therapist has a frickin six pack!!!

And that my friends is how you make 2 mundane ideas and stretch them to three segments!!

The Bears

Well it's now official the Bears will be in the playoffs. The question is will Rex the Wonder Bear still be throwing the ball come that time. Either way party at my house!!

Oh and I saw some recent photos of myself. All decked out suit tie rockstar emo hair. Looking drunk as an irishman on a sunday morning. Why does booze make you feel debonair? Theres no difference when putting on a suit, it just makes you look like a well dressed drunk guy. Eyes half open. Martini glass in hand. Sigh...

Baby it's cold outside

If you live in the midwest and didn't notice its cold out side you need to get off the pain killers. What made it tens of times worst was that it was 60 degrees the previous day. I awoke that fine morning to the sounds of am radio. But clearly this was a day unlike any other. It was clear anarchy had taken hold of our frozen continent. Society had broke down. Major traffic throughways were completely blocked off.

So i slept in an extra hour and the restarted my routine. Funny thing. There was no one on the road. No snow on the road. It was actually one of the more peaceful drives that i can remember. So the moral of this tale is this. Cold is not something to fear. Dont believe the hype of morning radio. We are Chicagoans and this is nothing we havent seen before.

Just a reminder for the next time it snows six inches or more.

Wicked late update

2006-12-01T10:38:00.000-06:00

Sorry the system that allows me to post seems to schedule down time during my only moments of free time.

From Russia with Love

So what do we have here!! Murder? Most foul…. Arent spies and intrigue supposed to take place below the public radar? Suddenly we have a Russian spy turn into Americas darling and now a former Prime minister seems to be sharing his fate. Nuclear materials seem to be all over the place so what is going on? Clearly Canada is making their move. They are teaming with the Russians? Why because it’s getting cold. And their cold dark Canadian hearts desire to return to the fires of hell. And since they don’t have the resources to manufacture a shovel they have just decided to bulldoze their way down to Mexico. I for one hail our new mounted French overlords.

Wow one unfunny paragraph in and I am already stretching for material. Happy Friday!!

Baby its cold outside

Just to keep a dead gag running; apparently the Canadians also have some sort of weather ray, as two days ago it was 60 degrees and today I woke up to death destruction and an unfamiliar layer of white powder coating the surface of the earth. Now many of you when you see snow decide that you can make the same movements and lane changes that you do in normal weather. The looks on your faces as I pass you tells the story. I can see the dead, vacant look in your eyes. You gambled and you lost. At least try to maintain some form of bravado.

If your so gung ho about getting to your destination. Don’t let that ditch your upside down in slow ya down. Unhook your safety belt. Crack your head on the fall. Baby crawl through the broke glass and plastic. Realize that you have no feeling in your legs and stand right back up again. Then remove all your clothes and start walking ‘cause you have decided that under no circumstances your are going to let the snow win or show any one else that you are concerned by its presence.

Nerd corner

Start > Run > type “perfmon.exe” > Ok *cool pre-installed system monitor*

Final Thoughts:

When did Mel Gibson go from bad ass to pretentious crazy?
I was glad we were on the phone when you told me that you did nothing but play with your Wii for the last 3 days.

Now 'Tis the Season

2006-11-28T11:49:00.000-06:00

Not working makes me not want to work. The holidays were nothing short of fantastic from a relaxation perspective. Hope it was great for all of you as well.

Now we settle into to prepare for financially affording Christmas. I don’t know how some of these larger families handle this. Do you set up a specific Christmas fund? My gift to myself this year is the reduction of debt. Which will go nicely with the new savings account I gave myself for the birthday. I’ve come to a point where I have all the toys I need and now I’m just trying to find the peace of mind from living as debt free as possible. Damn you student loans!!!

I wish I had more to write about for you but the last couple of days have been nothing but learning tech junk which would provide some mind numbing commentary for this blog.

The bears lost which always depresses me for a while. I'll try to chipper up for you before Friday.

Should I be troubled?

2006-11-21T15:06:00.000-06:00

Well another month another senior management staff bids adieu to the company. At this point I have to wonder if I really want to be known as a well paid employee in this establishment as it seems that their average lifespan is but a brief gasp. So now the question looms.. Do I keep reaching for that brass ring or should I cut and run? I am seeing the flaws. The malleable and poor pricing of services. The indecision of new infrastructure improvements. Where does it end and do I fit into this shredded puzzle?

Strangely it energizes me as I feel that the opportunity far out weighs all the klaxons ringing death in the back of my mind. I believe that I am in the midst of some very talented minds but checked out people. I can see this as even minor progression of initiatives is given abundance of praise and regarded as initiative. In example. I should really take the time to rewire the entire joint as it has lived through at least 5 – 6 years of patch work and sloppy networking. I redid one section and was treated as a visionary. Nothing really moved forward no gain was had. But ya know, it looks like someone is actually in control of that section and I guess that comfort is all that’s needed.

Which is an interesting environment as it has recently shown me that once and a while I can still get a chance to slack off. I’m only making future trouble if I do but things change a lot when you come in for a mission critical, everyone must work Saturday and find your Quality and Assurance manager engrossed in a game of solitaire. Ok then, guess I don’t feel as bad when I take the time to update this joint. So now I wait for the next bright eyed visionary to get hired whip people into a frenzy and then realize hes fighting a losing battle against a CEO that does not conform to notions that are lodged in his brain. I will continue to amuse myself by collecting paychecks and knowledge.

Someone’s trying to kill me - the revenge

So for consecutive weeks I have risen on Monday morning to find my front passenger side tire deflated. This can’t be coincidence. Again we need to compile a list of suspects.

Mark P. – my boss from my second job. I left him high and dry for the busiest season of the year. Even worse a mini revolt of the “old guys” is forcing him to have to hire a bunch of noobs.
Sharon H. – this poor darling has now been forced to pick up all of my client management work in the light of my career change. Oh and did I mention I had completely checked out on that line of work? She inherited a mess.
Mordecius – Have been regularly owning his casual raider ass across a message board and I’m not apologizing sucka!!! Owned with easy!!
Telecos salesmen – Yes I inquired no I don’t want to hear from you anymore. Broke more than a couple hearts of the last two weeks.

Gaming

Ok so I play wow. Wow is a mmo. It’s incredibly fun. It’s incredibly repetitive. MMO’s always degenerate into more of a social experience rather than a game for me. If you play the game to “win” … Sorry you lose. This is not the genre for you. So too often in WOW I have heard from this group of people that say “I like to play solo” or complain that they should not have to group up to get the best rewards.

To all of you out there who hold these beliefs I now ask. Please leave. Get out! This is not that game. This is not a single player game. This is a game to play with your buds or to make friends with people of the same interests. This is not a genre for solo. It’s in the title of genre. Please stop trying to change my game. Please stop calling me an elitist because I can find 40 people who don’t play the game the same way as you.

Please don’t say its not fair that you don’t want to be social in a genre designed around community. Not loot!! Loot comes with the community!! If you can’t be a part of a new community play a single player game and role play till your hearts delight. Please stay away from my genre. You and the rest of us will all be happier.

Mike Tyson is better than you…

He has somehow managed to restrain himself from killing Don King. A feat the gods dream of when they talk of legend.

Give thanks….

In the spirit of the holidays lets give thanks..

… that I am not married to a scientologist.
… that The Shield will be back on the air soon.
… that the Chicago Bears have won at least 2/3 on their road trip.
… that Shamans will be able to two hand dps.
… that people are looking to laugh so desperately that they started laughing at Michael Richards every time he choked up while apologizing.
… that the over saturation of Sasha Cohen has ended.
… that Barak Obama is here to save us all.
… that Jesse Jackson will be there to stop Obama.
… that Bush will be blamed for it all.

Happy Holidays folks.

This Fire isn't Passion

2006-11-17T09:38:00.000-06:00

Typically I start my business day with a nice quiet look around the local newspapers followed by a glance at CNN and Drudge. By the time I’ve satisfied the news appetite the remainder of the office staff has filtered in and its time to go to work. Yesterday, just as I snuggled into my leather desk chair with an ice cold diet coke I was startled by a string of words that would have brought soap to mouth if my mother had ever witnessed me personally recite them. A few more were flung in there that hopefully my mother will never hear nor understand in her lifetime.

So I spring, as quickly as a tired mid twenty year old can, from my chair to look into the disturbance. For those of you in non technical fields I will give you a little history in regards to the subject matter. Computers + No Cooling = Bad. So it appears that the air conditioning that controls the temperature of our server room had given up the ghost. I enter the room and see and hear the flashing lights and screams of a computer roasting itself alive. The room itself gave off a heat so terrible that I almost had to take off my sweater to remain comfortable. The HORROR!!!

So we start popping out roof tiles and I run around the office where strangely enough two ladies keep fans. Ladies any reason why you keep fans in your cubicles during winter? Meanwhile my boss has literally ripped a cardboard box in twain and has begun a quest to personally fan the air right out of the room. A now sweaty and red faced man greets me like a saint as I bring him two floor fans and we get those babies pumping enough to cool the room by..5 degrees. I now am under the firm belief that while home computers use electricity business application servers actually run on molten lava delivered straight from the fiery pits of hell. So once again I have to bring the heating and cooling professionals into my life in order to resolve an issue. It really grinds my gears.

Good times are here again

2006-11-15T10:55:00.000-06:00

So it’s a new week. A better week. A busy week that is bringing numerous waves of both paranoia and triumph. Hello all thanks for stopping by.

Divorce

So it was bound to happen. The Democratic Party finally proved that as long as you just complain enough you don’t need to actually have a real vision to come into power. I am both happy and disillusioned with my party. Maybe politics in general, however the Republican Party had to go. Now there is an example of loosing your vision. Maybe they were just missing that under dog scrappiness they had for so many years. I do know that if a ruling representative body promises a variety of topics yet only actually achieves a few it’s only a matter of time before their constituents decide not to make the trip to the polls. Honestly though if the Democrats had not won I think they should have just dissolved the party. If you couldn’t win under these circumstances you truly have been exposed or should I say identified as a party without an agenda. I’m not saying that we actually do have an agenda aside from Republican hatred but I guess we ran under the “its nice when other folks get a chance” motto.

I had a really clever analogy to go along side America divorcing the Republican party and Britney Spears dumping KFed but.. I am lazy so here are some cliff notes.

• KFed knew all along that he was on borrowed time
• Fiscal responsibility
• Britney has not aged well
• War in Iraq
• Who will protect the children
• A leather chaps wearing midget eating ice cream out of his hand
• Text to inform of divorce and the chance of voter fraud
• In the end it will just make some lawyer happy

Bears

Nothing better than a statement game by whupping a good team in their own home. I’ve been stating it weeks but if you are not watching this team you will miss out on valuable high fives and beer. Week 13 is the official last week of band wagon jumping. If you’re not on by then be prepared to have some drunken Irishman call you a poser. That drunken Irishman will be my friend Drew and he’s a mean drunk when he’s sober.

Theater

Have to say Borat is one of the few episodes of life where you could litteraly hear the audience gasping for air. I was also surprised by the makeup of audience. I expected the normal fair of college/post –college crowd that seems to dig the same films I do. However Borat was littered with… the elderly? I didn’t know how to feel and I made sure to observe their reactions during some of the more “risque” scenes. Having been a long term fan of the character I knew there was a lot more than what had been paraded around the local talk show circuit the last couple of weeks. Any who I predicted some walk outs but saw none so kudos to those who are old in the face but young at heart. Unfortunately now we are going to be subject to a host of imitators and comedies that will try to mesh real life with staged comedy.

Mike Tyson is better than you…

He can bite a mans ear off and still be interviewed as a rational human being. Oh and p.s. the man once owned white tigers and now he owns pigeons. All the while he’s still smiling. Mike is a role model for optimists.

Eternal Youth

So this weekend ends the anticipation as the new Nintendo Wii will become available to the retail public. For quite some time I had my leather hands clutched in anticipation for this device. However I had to blow my “fun” money on a new part for the heater which leads us to…

You know what grinds my gears….

You know what grinds my gears? The heating cooling industry. Why is it acceptable that a device that costs so much and that only gets used 4 months out of the year break down ever 3 – 5? My car I can accept I drive that thing to hell and back on a daily basis. But a heater? Seriously you get 8 months off each year how can a fan motor go bad with so little use? And it’s a FAN motor why would that cost me over 200 bucks? If it was that monster hunker that actually sits in the middle of the unit I could agree. That my friends looks like a 200 dollar part. But this fan motor seriously looks like it came right out of the back of a PC. Its mostly made of frickin plastic! How does that cost so much. Seriously I want to Bobby Knight this contraption and tell it to suck it up and get back to work. Thx for letting me get that out.

Final thoughts

1. Your opinion being valued at work has its value and its downside.
2. If you’re going to lunch with programmers don’t expect your sports analogy to ring home.
3. Apparently every thing in the world that you do as a sales man is either a tax write off or a business expense.
4. Never take a lunch without bringing a sales man with you.
5. Giving a dog a hair cut is harder than I thought.

Vote today!

2006-11-07T16:28:00.000-06:00

Vote or end up like my Uncle Ralph. He didnt vote and he runs his own business now. Many would consider him a success but not me. Guy never voted in his life what a loser. Oh sure rub the independently wealthy card in my face Ralph. Yeah well at least I made my voice heard ya three button pin striped suit wearing hippy!!

And here is guest star Faith Hill showing how to react when you lose.

Kerry for President?

2006-11-02T14:37:00.000-06:00

You have to love this magical time of year. Just how the heck did Limbaugh and Kerry end up monopolizing every moment of my news watching experience over the last few days? If I was a politician on either side I would be pissed. Here you are, you worked and struggled. Fought for what you believed. You need all the attention you can muster. You need all the help you can get. Oh wait, here comes two guys who are not even running for office this year, who ran their mouths and now its all people can talk about.

I know in the hype machine life there is no room for a who cares mentality. My two thoughts when I first heard the commotion for both topics was. Oh, he really said that… well that’s kind of dumb. Now why do we not have any more bottled water in the fridge?

I should consult with the elderly but was there ever a time when political races actually featured the people running? Seriously If I watched my local news I would have no idea who’s even running but by God I should be so outraged that some pundit made an off color comment. I guess I should have followed my own advice and away but I have always been a sucker for hyperbole. Just remember to vote.

The power of the head nod

Is any other non verbal emote more powerful than the head nod. It signals acknowledgement, understanding, agreement, etc… I have been nodding my head a lot lately but mainly because I’m acknowledging understanding and agreeing that I have no idea what is going on. I have lately been tempted to start tossing random acronyms out there whenever I’m in a discussion with someone with whom it’s become clear has lost comprehension of the topic. At least that’s the way I feel sometimes. Man now you’re just screwing with me.

Everybody Party!!!

So it’s with great expectations that we go forward into what may be the last great party of the year. The classic Anna Martini party is an affair with quaint and demure intentions that some how seems to lead to a number of great stories from my collection of friends. Even better is that people seem to always assume that I had attended past events. Often starting conversations with an “oh yeah we met at the Anna Martini party last year didn’t we”. Tragically I had always managed to be inconveniently removed from possible attendance. This year will be different as I actually get to go albeit a little late. But every pleasantry has a clause.

It’s never optimal to be the last guy at the party. If you are placed into this scenario you have both good and bad options to expect.

Pros:

No one will mind if you have not brought anything.
Your initial level headedness will make you appear charming.
Drunken friends will scream out hello’s to you like you’re a returning war hero. Instantly elevating your status with the remainder of participants.
Tons of free drinks

Cons:

You’ll probably have a number of drinks shoved into your hand. Immediately high chance of making it an early and uncomfortable night.
You’re suddenly the sober responsible one. Guess whos voted to drive cause were out of (item)
The angry drunk will likely isolate on you as an outsider.
Tons of bummed smokes.

Brandons best music of 2006 awards

Stack Ranked Albums

Placebo – Meds
Muse – Black Holes and Revelations
My Chemical Romance – the black parade
The Killers – Sams Town
Gnarles Barkley – St. Elsewhere
AFI – December Underground
Kill Hannah – Until Theres nothing left of us.
The Mars Volta – Amputechture

Best Song

St. Elsewhere – Gnarles Barkley

Best use of Mascara in a video (group award)

AFI

Suprisingly better than it should be

My Chemical Romance – The black parade

Possibly written by Mexican Astronauts on a wicked acid trip

The Mars Volta – Amputechture

Blatant ripping off of the Cure vocal stylings (not a bad thing)

The Killers

Best Sing Along

Placebo – Drag

Best Emo Ballad

My Chemical Romance – Cancer

Best imitation of Queen

Muse – Knights of Cydonia

Still not ready for primetime award

Kill Hannah

Life time achievement award

Mozart

Have a good weekend folks!

Miser

2006-10-31T11:20:00.000-06:00

So today coupled with this weekend have put me into a depressed state. The good boss is gone. The weekend partying was fun but not fabulous. I just feel old. I look old. I look tired. Maybe it’s the stress that’s getting to me. I know champions rise above (so cliché) but now that I’m in the thick of it, all I can think about is getting home to my family. Not busting ass for a company I’m not sure I believe in.

I thought about taking a day off but for some strange reason the idea of making money keeps me more plugged in than it should. It just has been recently and greatly occurring to me that there has been a change. I always wondered when the change happened. Lets face it for most normal young life we are adrift in a sea of optimism. Even those with a jaded front hold onto the gleam yet will deny this till their out of breath. For many of us only childs there comes the optimism that anything is possible. While that is still true. There are days when you feel like this is it.

I’m never gonna break this glass ceiling Im never gonna lose these love handles. I will love, produce and die. Forever a cog in some terrible machine.

Man oh man. Its only day one of this workload and I’m already waxing poetic about the futility of life. Someone get this baby a diaper cause I think he’s full of shit.

In heavy rotation on my Ipod

The Killers – Sams Town
My Chemical Romance – The black parade

Worth a read

2006-10-27T09:41:00.000-05:00

I hope you have a great weekend. I don’t have much time write today but I stumbled upon an article from longtime feminist and Radio Talk show host Camille Paglia. It’s so rare to find a Democrat who completely and eloquently can summarize my political views.

Heres the link if ya have the time: http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2006/10/27/paglia/index.html

Here’s a quote stemming from a brief portion on religion and politics. There’s even more goodness in the link. Happy Friday.

Well, as long as the Democrats are perceived as the anti-religion party, we're going to lose the culture wars……. But religion is absolutely central to this country in ways that Europe's secularized intellectuals fail to understand. I'm speaking here as an atheist who studies religion and respects it enormously. In the history of mankind, the benefits that religion has brought to society in shaping behavior and moral choice are overwhelming in comparison to the negatives, which anyone can list -- like religious wars and bigotry. Without religion, we'd have anarchy.

Religion is also a metaphysical system that honors the largeness of the universe. It's that sense of largeness, which my generation used to call cosmic consciousness, that is missing in the cynical ideologies promoted by the elite universities -- like post-structuralism, which is obsessed with politics and language and has a depressingly debased view of human experience. Post-structuralism doesn't see the stars or the enormity of nature, which for religious people symbolizes God's power. So I think that the constant sniping at religion coming from liberal Democrats is really a dead end.

But there's reason for alarm at the right-wing intertwining of religion and politics, where the Bible is seen as the prophetic master plan of the universe and where Israel as the Holy Land must be protected at all costs from Muslim infiltration -- duplicating the agenda of the medieval crusades. But to claim, as Democrats often do, that there has always been a separation of church and state in America is misleading: The U.S. simply has no official state religion. The formative influence in our intellectual heritage came from Puritan dissidents in New England. Major universities like Harvard and Yale were founded on religious principles.

Am I really that busy!?!?

2006-10-24T11:51:00.000-05:00

Guess not, because I had enough time to write this. Hello alts. So as we are currently T minus 6 days and counting until I take over the reigns of a 50 Mill/year companies IT department lets just get it over now and scream that the sky is falling. Every frickin meeting is a new acronym to write down and learn. Not only learn it I have to know it and answer questions relevant to our setup and the topic. And for some reason everyone has turned a blind eye to the fact that I have limited experience in the business or its overall architecture. I guess a confident demeanor goes farther than I thought. I have never been one to wear my true emotions on my sleeve but I can only imagine the look that’s going to be on my face the first time I am in some meeting with the director of operations and it is revealed that the guy holding the fort has rubber legs.

The way the volume of work has been piled on I am beginning to believe that I am already fired and now they are just screwing with my mind. Trying to break me. Sigh, so enough with the pessimism eh lets hit the optimistic switch and begin planning….our…

EXIT STRATEGY

So right now I have got a good story and it occurs to me that I have raised my overall value to prospective employers. What else do employers like hearing more than the guy who got placed outside the box and was then asked to hold the whole show together? It’s definitely a spinnable argument to make and now could be a good time to make it.

Don’t look at me like that…

And for all you friends out there who are do gooders, who in the back of your mind are asking why I don’t just suck it up and take initiative and take charge. Believe me I am doing that. But let’s face facts. This company has seen 5 senior management changes in less than two years time. Often I had wondered about what they are seeing and now that I am getting a taste of that level the warning signs are becoming clear.

The Wisdom of Jarvis Cocker

Help the aged. Because one day they were just as you. Drinking, smoking, sex and sniffing glue.

Bueno Politicos

At this point from mid year elections I would advise simply to turn off the pundits. Find out where the politicians stand and vote from there. Everything will turn to spin and mud from this point forward. Don’t let it get you down. Don’t let it allow you to think of not voting.

It was as if a million voices cried out and then were silent….

So my favorite hobby had been planning a large scale update to the volume of content available in their product. Unfortunately they followed the paths of every other major software distributor and have pushed back their release date. Which is fine by me; more time to keep pushing my alts into a ready for expansion level. Also with the delay goes guild drama as suddenly everyone has a little more reason to return to actively pursuing current content. Also a post January release also means I might actually be able to get some time to enjoy it in the first week.

Final thoughts

Admins make surprisingly good money to take lunch orders.
If you are backed into a conversational corner by a question dismiss the premise of the argument. This will give you time to regroup your thoughts to address the issue.
You can jump whenever you’re told but eventually you’re going to come down.

Correction

2006-10-17T11:36:00.000-05:00

So in conjunction with yesterdays post I would like to make a few notes. For one my wife was not totally swayed by the ills of the salesman. In fact once she had been brought up to snuff on my schemes she actually improved the situation by negotiating some free accessories for the new car. So a big kudos to her for the adaptability that she was able to show. Beauty and grace under pressure. Shes the real deal.

If ya don’t know no ya know…

I hope you all took my advice and watched the Bears last night. While not the epic slaughter many including myself had predicted it still proved to be one of the most dramatic games I can remember. I truly believe that if I was a die hard Cardinals fan that I would have plucked my eyes out. Then again maybe they are like Cubs fans nation wide and have leathery thick skin immune to disappointment yet porous to false hope.

Changes….part. XXXIX

So today my boss, my mentor, reveals that he is leaving the company. He gave kind words and an offer to come work for him at a later date. Even still this only means that I will be crushed by a soon coming tide of work and responsibility. I am already mentally preparing myself to try to stand tall. This is a big tree to climb but if I can climb it the rewards could be great. Stay tuned and stay attuned.

Happy Tuesday.

Mission Accomplished

2006-10-16T13:26:00.000-05:00

So after a month of work and complaining about work through blog I can finally say that the days of 1 car living are officially over. ‘Twas truly a sinister month and I’m glad to see it in the rearview mirror of my new 2007 Pontiac G6. As is the only question you ever ask beyond car details, “how was your sales experience?’ Well to be honest it wasn’t too bad. The only moment that truly became awkward was when the sales person tried to get us into a lease.

I swear to God the sales persons overall disposition changed it appeared that suddenly she became very tired, very ragged very sweaty. I wondered for a moment if I put on the same veneer when I have been trying to land a company initiative with a mark. Even worse suddenly my wife begins to side with the sales person. HA!! So I pull Tif to the side and beg her to follow my every lead from this point forward. I know the game I did sales for almost five years. I know what I want in this deal and I know that no where in that lies a car lease.

At a last attempt the sales person tells me that every time my credit gets checked it drops my credit score 5 points. So now I’m thinking of walking out as under her logic when I bought my home my credit dropped no less than 100 points as I shopped my credit to tons of banks while looking for the best deal. Much to her dismay I keep a pretty healthy tab on my credit score and found no reason to be worried. I called her on the lie thinking it would get me on a faster track to the finance officer.

For her last …Last trick she tried good old fashion guilt. She gets on the phone to “someone” and lets them know that she TRIED to offer us the best deal but we had declined and were requesting that we wanted to go with straight financing. I inform my wife to keep signing the finance papers. Sigh…

Anyways our credit gets run we go in to talk to the finance manager and we have a nice time. Making sure to hit them up for every refreshment offered. New rule: If you don’t walk out of a dealership without having drunk at least two liters of soda you did not spend enough time negotiating!!! Minor rate/bank/down payment negotiation drops the price even more and lo and behold I make it out of there with payments right in my range and a dependable car that the wife can beat up for the next 5 years.

So it is nice to actually feel like you pulled off a win once in a while. My inner cynic still tells me I was duped and I probably was to some extent, they are sales professionals for a reason. But getting that car into my price range regardless of what they made on the deal is still a win.

The battle still continues…

So no rest for the wicked. As we still have a home that needs heat. I dropped forty bucks on a space heater so at least the bedroom holds some comfort. I’m currently still trying to go through the friend of a friend route in the hopes that it’s a minor issue like an igniter or hell maybe a switch that needs to be flipped to the appropriate setting. Just to prove I am a nerd I researched the model online and started reading through the product manual. Unfortunately this only confirmed that I am not mechanically adept. So it looks like we’ll need a technician shortly as I am too much of a paranoid kid to keep using this space heater.

Da Bears!!

Oh I need this day to pass quickly so I can get a comfortable spot on the couch, some hot pizza and maybe a beer or two and watch what should be an absolute massacre tonight on Monday Night Football. I haven’t quite bought into the hype yet as our local radio stations are full of pundits spouting about a perfect season. However I will say that if you have abstained from fully committing to sports team now is your chance. The Bears are that good and the rest of the NFC Central is THAT bad. So playoffs should be locked by weekd 10 or 11. If you don’t want to be counted with the number of those that true fans tend to deplore I would buy your Urlacher jersey now and paint your face in orange and blue before confidently striding into work tomorrow.

News

Is the evening news worth watching to any of you? I know my age demographic seems to prefer there news to come from Comedy Central. Didn’t we have some sort of controversy last week? Man that died quick. Those involved and those who were directly or indirectly burned by recent scandals laid out a blue print for all to see on how to make a touchy situation disappear fast. I see it as this:

1. Acknowledge - (my bad)

2. Action - (the problem has been sent away)

3. Dismiss - (the problem does not exist any more now lets stop discussing)

I’m sure opposite party members would like this little drama to have played out until election date. They just fired their round too quick. Bad timing. Bad everything. Damage is done. Blast pattern had a solid radius but really there should have been greater collateral damage. Did north Korea run the PR on this? They seem good at creating dud bombs. Clearly the republicans are getting better at the art of firefighting. So whats next? Only time will tell but I personally feel a little dismayed that we saw the “November surprise” in early October. Now all we have left is random mud throwing.

The Wisdom of Gnarles Barkley

I wouldn’t call it schizophrenia but I’m at least two people a day.

Things to watch while you wait for the next season of The Shield…

There aren’t too many reasons to subscribe to Showtime. In fact the only reason I stumbled upon this show was through complaining about poor service to my provider. Showtime is essentially HBO without the new premiers, relevant movies, relevant series or quality boxing. However I think they have a little gem on their hands with this show called DEXTER. It is the heartwarming tale of a man who works in the forensics department of the Miami police department. Oh by the way he’s a serial killer.

It’s a lot of very dark humor as they make Dextor very likable right off the bat by having him kill a child molestor and murderer. Dextor is a monster in every way. He enjoys being a witness because going to the courthouse gives him new opportunities to find victims. Of course he the total anti hero that a lot of us geeks love. The writing is good with a lot of wink wink nudge nudge jokes thrown in there. Especially when the cops visit new crime scenes and dexter starts ranting about how beautifully done the kill was. Meanwhile all the cops around him give each other sideways glances.

Tons of funny and lots of thought provoking material regarding the idea of truth versus justice. Check out “Dexter” on showtime. But avoid their show “weeds”. Any show that warrants a guest visit from snoop dog means that they are just pretenders.

Links to make you…

Herb: Father, Gamer, Agent

Words from a wise man that I respect and work with through one of my favorite hobbies. I agree with him completely on the topic of late night miracle pills. I will however contend that the diet pills offered in a lot of those ads are great sources of energy. And while they will do nothing to help you lose weight they do a LOT to getting your mind lit up and fully aware in a matter of a half an hour. Can’t imagine how people run or work out on that stuff though. 2 pills would make my heart pound out of my chest. Can’t imagine what would have happened if I had been doing anything more than studying.

Final Thoughts

Man God bless ya if you’re still reading through all this….

Optimism is the hard part. Cynicism is the 8 hours watching tv while eating potato chips.
The government does not trust you to make decisions for yourself.
Don’t be afraid just because the TV tells you to.
Always support your armed service men and women.
Conan O’brien is till the best late night talk show host.

Stalled

2006-10-11T12:58:00.000-05:00

Once more a big congrats to J and his upcoming bride.

So this looks like its going to be a disjointed post as my life is currently in a state of limbo. Which is always better than a drunken free fall, but not quite as exciting. Just as the need for a new car issue begins we also discover that the heat in my house has cashed in its 401k and headed to a warmer climate. So its double the fun right now. Man just writing that put me in a grumpy mood.

Which brings me to my latest quest….

Where the hell do I find money to pay for this crap…..

First off I refuse:

1. To take money from friends or relatives, (funds totaling more than $50)

2. To get any amount of credit card debt beyond what I can pay off in a month

3. To touch my retirement funds

So we need a car and it appears that we will need about $2,000 in down payment to cover. The last two friends who had heating issues averaged out to around $2,300 in repairs.

So lets game plan…

Priority (Car vs. Heat)

Not having a car sucks right now because:

Gas bills up 25%
Primary car now driven twice as much a day (depreciation)
3 Hours spent in traffic a day due to carpooling situation

Not having heat right now sucks because

Its cold at night

Ok so clearly the heater issue can wait till the end of the month until we have the car situation worked out and before it becomes brutally cold.

Decision made, were getting a car.

Taking the hit…

So in preparation to lose 2 grand worth of disposable income:

Trim the fat; looks like I am going to give up smoking at work, and start bringing my lunches. Expected weekly savings: $22
Re-examine current contracts: Found a promotional discount for my sprint plan enabled immediately. Weekly savings $5

Suddenly you have an extra $100 a month

Now I am not going to lie and say that the non cig smoking and home lunch taking are definitely going to happen. But the point is the funds are there it just depends on what I am willing to give up.

Happy Wed folks don’t let the world get ya down.

~B

A Smattering of News

2006-10-09T09:59:00.000-05:00

Jayson is back for another round of this blog thing.

So, I got engaged just over a week ago. It is really sweet, but I'm more looking forward to the wedding than I am looking forward to the planning part. Check out White Collar Moxie for all the details.

Jayson's Sports Talk

Brandon may like to talk about baseball and football, but I bring a slightly different sport to the table. It was birthed by America's neighbors to the north, and it coincidentally is the greatest sport on the face of the planet, with the exception of Jai-Alai. The NHL season kicked off last Wednesday, and my boys the Maple Leafs are off to a rough start at just 1-1-1, but they did shut out the Senators the other day, so they really are 3-0 in my mind. I joined a couple fantasy hockey leagues on Yahoo!, and I'm not doing so hot, but I'm having fun, and that's what really counts, right?

The Departed

I went and saw Scorcese's latest opus, The Departed on Friday night. It was really good. Leave the kids at home, though. When they say 'pervasive strong language', they aren't kidding about the pervasive part. Nicholson, Damon, Di Caprio, Baldwin, and Marky Mark all turned in a superb jobs in the acting department. Also, it's really nice to see that Scorcese can still make the mob films like no one else. Yak, if you read this, go see this movie, you will enjoy it.

Jai-Alai

Maybe you read my earlier comment about Jai-Alai and asked yourself, "Jayson, what is this Jai-Alai you speak of?". Apart from the weirdness of asking yourself a question directed at me through a computer monitor, I will tell you what it is by posting a quote from this website:

The world's fastest sport, Jai-Alai, offers more excitement, more action, more thrills and more fun than any sport in the world. This fast paced games stands alone on the merits of it's agile athletes who hurl a rock-hard ball, back and forth, at speeds up to 150 miles per hour! But, when one adds the dimension of wagering, with the opportunity to win up to $10,000, jai-alai becomes the ultimate sport!

So, there you have it. It is fast and people bet on it, making it the ULTIMATE SPORT.

One very bad thing

2006-10-06T13:51:00.000-05:00

Behold your elitist American pig infidels!! I’m Brandon and welcome to the countdown to thirty.

Auto Erotica

So after 12 years of service my second car chugged its final sip of gasoline. Ah yes this 94 saturn poorly named the golden rocket will no longer be carrying me about for all the random tasks you use a second car for. So what does the loss of one car equal? 3 hours of total drive time a day for me, up from 1 hour. Also there is this fine gas bill that now is twice as much. Darn you suvs, for all your conveniences you still forget to appropriately regulate fuel consumption. So that situation is no fun but it does bring up the better topic of negotiating my new chariot with the ilk known as salesmen. You know if you look into their eyes you can see an all consuming darkness? That is because they sold their soul. For a good deal 9 point markups above dealer invoice.

Any how looks like I am going to have to sack up for this weekend and try to coerce my way into a deal.

Nerd Humor

Object reference not set to an instance of an object.

BWAHAHAHAA.....

Happy Friday

4 Good things

2006-10-03T11:49:00.000-05:00

How was your weekend? Mine saw 3 people I know and 1 person I love getting engaged and a big round of congrats go out to all of them. These are big steps in your life and I am happy that you chose to make them.

Also found out that the power of modern medicine reigns supreme as all it takes is 5mg of some concoction to keep my blood flowing smoothly through my veins. My cholesterol dropped 60 + points in just a month. Screw you diet and exercise! Give me science to cure my ills. Now I wonder why I spent 3 months out of my life eating rabbit food. Oh sure the weight loss and added energy were great but that life style went against everything my racial heritage stands for. Now I just need to pick up a velour track suit and some gold chains and I will be set to enter retirement.

Sports

Take heart cubs fans as now you get to find a new reason to suck. Sure Dusty was a pariah manager but if you had to work in that organization you would be too. And good luck to whatever form of poor schlub that gets placed in that cave. At this point fans would get Ronny Woo Woo in there and call him baseball jesus. Such is the life of the cubs fan and one of the MANY reasons I do my best to not associate with that form of yuppie trash.

In relation to teams that actually may be worth a damn. Go bears!

Bueno Politico!!

So we finally have gotten our first good scandal of the midterm election as it has come out that some dude was trying to hit up his page boy. A disgusting allegation and I cling firmly to the resolve that if he is found guilty that he should be incarcerated at 26^th and California for the majority of his remaining years. What is really interesting here is the timing of this whole affair. How long was this known about? Who had access to these private messages and from what point did they chose to come forward? That’s where the real story is but even these details will get lost in the blood bath. Rightfully so of course if he is guilty. It just is always funny how these things seem to come out at such inappropriate or should I say overly appropriate times.

Sports cliché to make you feel motivated until you stop.

Amateurs practice till they get it right, professional practice till they can’t get it wrong.

Sean Connery is better than you….

Was accidentally killed on set of the movie Highlander. Found three days later covered in dirt at a bar drinking sailors under the table. Claimed he was just method acting.

Spammer Poetry

PE enriching by sjlnxnt@csoft.net

asual discussed swingers country.
lacks drama largely facing huge declines
Europe East Asia fallen helped
maintain overall poverty.
infant unseen anywhere else developed world.
averaging slightly apiece average woman.
mask trends different abroad

Happy Tuesday

B 100

Conversions

2006-09-29T11:11:00.000-05:00

Hello and welcome to The Countdown to thirty.

Saddle up to the table for some stubborn belly fat for the mind.

Hallelujah I’m Converted!!!

I can still remember the first time I caught that elitist grin from some khaki short wearing dread locked art student self righteously brandishing his ugly grey mactop with its strange OS. Oh for sure later on in marketing classes I would give these beasts a try only to find my screen freeze up at that pivotal time just before you remember to save your project. Up until a few years ago I had passed off on any notion I had in my tiny brain to return to this elitist OS.

Being forced into servitude by a healthy mortgage I took up a reasonable profession in which Apple products were heavily featured. Apparently Mac’s are so well marketed that every marketing firm in the world feels that they have to exclusively use their product. So, things definitely change when your boss hands you a Mac and tells you to start moving dev files between servers.

I can now confidently say that for work applications Mac’s are by far the superior choice to XP. Search Google if your looking for tech specs I’m not that guy and this is not that blog. 3 reasons for those of us that are less technical more practical.

You never have to turn them off. Seriously I typically get at least 8 days of uptime before I will notice any form of slowing. XP needs a daily reboot to be any where near functional.
Quick installation and deletion of files. Got and executable file? Drag it into the applications folder and boom you’re done. No install waits no restart your comp for app to work.
The dock. I know I know its just a tool bar with hot keys, but typically you only use 3-6 apps a day for work why would you want to go through a tree menu off your start bar to find some random app module? Drop it in the dock and your good to go.

Switching topics….

How can you not be excited about this upcoming Sunday? Bears/Seahawks should be epic and with a broken footed MVP you begin to wonder if this is actually the Bears year. A late game also ensures that offices across the Chicago land area will be severely undermanned the following Monday. If you catch a red eyed lunatic swerving his way around the Schaumburg area give me a wave…or a finger I probably deserve both.

More pills

Find out tomorrow if medications have kept my Italian blood from holding on to its delicious cholesterol. If stats aren’t down were upping the dosage and I’m probably going vegan. Sigh, is a lifetime of eating mulch a lifetime worth living? If my numbers do drop believe me I will be high tailing it straight into the comforting arms of a cooked medium porterhouse and a tall Sam Adams.

Losing a reader, gaining a friend…

A big welcome back to my friend Rachel who’s returning from Italy with her husband. Guess we actually have to talk now eh?

Links to other nut jobs

Blogs are serious business, here are a bunch that recently caught my eye. Highlihgts include strangely elaborate descriptions of 13 year old. Emo chicks providing bad poetry, heavily photoshopped blogs featuring Asians and other randomness.

Check ‘em out, give a hello, but for the love of all that’s sacred don’t post a link to another site as apparently as My space = pedophiles Blogger = pretentious

http://imageready.blogspot.com/
http://mypinkbubblegum.blogspot.com/
http://anistonhair.blogspot.com/
http://bulbadise.blogspot.com/
http://faithoflife.blogspot.com/
http://relfysux.blogspot.com/

Final Thoughts

Wisconsin is the cheap whore of the Midwest.
If you knock on my door at 8pm and then try to convince me to vote for your candidate and I stumble out of my house reeking of booze and cigarettes please don’t make a disgusted face. I’m still a voter and no I don’t want your f’n fridge magnet.
Old men who smoke should not keep mustaches. It looks like they pissed on their upper lip.

The art of taking a compliment

2006-09-28T16:22:00.000-05:00

I see it in women i see it in men. No one knows how to take a compliment anymore. Sarcasm has infiltrated so deeply into the culture that no one fully believes in another persons genuineness. Break your olive branches people theres no room for your weakness.

Now, I understand that you have been hurt so many times by your verbally abusive father that now when ever another human reaches out to you its necessary to cower. So I have given you some fool proof steps to never be hurt again ya big ugly baby.

When complimented:

1. Question the persons sexuality.
2. Find some minor gaffe and try to turn the situation into their issue.
3. Feel better about yourself by telling them that they are full of themselves
4. Try to figure out the persons hobbies and make judgements accordingly
5. Imagine the complimenter under going disgusting acts of bodily harm

It’s a scary world out there be sure to be on the offensive at all times.

Tag team, party on!

2006-09-28T12:45:00.000-05:00

     So now this Countdown has been joined by me, Jayson. Brandon and I are going to tear this mother up like the Bushwacker wrestlers (action figures) of old. You won't see any Kung-Fu grip on those bad boys, because they are flexing their guns, and Kung-Fu grip looks stupid when you're showing off the pipes. Just picture it with me for a moment. Ok, the moments over. You ruined it. Way to go.

     Enough idle chit-chat. I'm going to bust this blog wide open with a little anecdote. This past weekend I went with my brother, his brother-in-law John, and their friend Tom to see Sufjan Stevens in Indianapolis. It was an amazing concert, but that's not what this story is about. So, we were waiting in line before the show because we had arrived way early to the venue. After waiting for about 15 minutes, some schmuck employee of the venue comes out and tells us we need to reform the line on the other side of the door. For what reason, I do now know. Anyway, we shuffle on over to the other side of the sidewalk and by chance we are about 10 people in front of where we were. We don't consider this any big deal, and I don't think the people behind us did, either. However, the snotty indie kids in front of us decided to cry about it. Some words were exchanged, but it did not come to blows because their indie hair would have gotten messed up. I laughed to myself that they will drive right home after the show and whine about it on their blog. HAHA! Oh, dammit, I think I just made fun of myself.

    Anyway, you can expect to see sporadic postings on here from yours truly, I hope they fill your day with chocolate rainbows of delight.

The whys and hows?

2006-09-28T10:45:00.000-05:00

So the signs are there. You think your starting to get ahead in life when suddenly your car purr turns to a roar and you feel that you could get better brake traction if you went at it Fred Flintstone style. I only need two dependable cars 8 months out of the year, but without fail in those eight months things will go wrong. Such are the choices of the loot gods.

How to write for the internet

The question has been raised on how to blog or provide columns. Its really quite simple

Start by saying who you are and where your at. That way everyone knows that your going to own them in the face and this is the place to be.

Example. Hello schmucks and sucka this is Drudger and your at the Countdown to thirty Blog.

Secondly get to topic. Find a subject get an opinion stick by it even if you write yourself into a corner.

Example: Sure dolphins look cute but they would stab us all in the back if they had a chance to get out of the water. Fortunately we have a large enough population of Octopi which everyone knows are the security force of the seas. God help us however if the Octopi revolt.

Third find a regular schtick and make it a regular portion of your columns.

Example: THE THIRD EYE – The third eye sees much trouble in the coming weeks for our constituents in the southern hemisphere.

See it doesn’t even have to make sense.

Fourth, Post a real life “insider” message to someone who may or may not actually exist.

Example: Yo Luke, you know how I said she never would? Well I was right.

This establishes that the poster is too cool to really be blogging. Even though heavens knows that as soon as he posts he will be glued to the screen constantly refreshing and hoping for a comment.

Finally, Sign off. Here you can link other peoples work and end with your signature catch phrase.

Example: Hey if your bored check out (link) and (link) great stuff from both of those guys. Well im out folks keep hitting the bricks. ~The caramel apple.

Boom! You are now an official internet writer. Oh and when in doubt pseudo plagiarize.

Happy Thursday

B 96

The people are told

2006-09-27T12:23:00.000-05:00

Hello saints and sinners I am Brandon your noteworthy sham lead and this is the countdown to thirty blog.

Life recap

So with guild drama dying down, the dog relatively trained, the wife typically happy and the job situation progressing we now prepare to lie down while mother nature takes an icy dump upon our middle America communities. Ah fall, when summer initiatives are beaten down like the flash in a pan notions that they were. Hope you logged all those miles you intended to jog cause nature just gave you the ultimate excuse to never leave your house. Farewell to the sun you miserable tease.

Bien Politico!!

So another leak by our beloved CIA lets us know that if there no reason to believe that any government run organization is nothing more than a potential propaganda piece. In our age of fear CIA/Iraq is the new buzz work to make everyone stand up and take notice. For our parents it was Russia/Nukes. So we will see what comes of this if anything. Thank God its about that time for politics to rev up. Leaks, lies, posing, stances, denials accusations, victory and defeat. It just keeps getting better each year what more can happen this year than did last. Polarization baby!!!

Yet while my age bracket get all puffy and noble around this time they still somehow forget to vote when push comes to shove. I wonder sometimes what the elderly honestly think of us in regards to politics? I know my grandfathers general sentiment towards our generation is to grow a pair. “insert “at your age I was picking shrapnel out of my dead buddies arms so you kids could enjoy your starbucks and hybrid automobiles”

If you turned on any form of news outlet this week you probably got to see my hero Bill Clinton back on the air waves. The true fun of the clip is him getting angry and that of course what brought the ratings and the discussion. To my brown eyes this is all SO phony. I mean in theory this man is getting frustrated and angry during the interview. Yet, he knew where he was going didn’t he? Fox news man… marching on the GOP agenda one story at a time…. that Fox news??? Seriously with his reaction you would think he never took a tough question in his life.

Bill, you know the score, dismiss the premises of the question. Your anger only acknowledges it and lends to the thought that a nerve was touched. You’re the slickest politician I have ever seen. Big gaffe on your part. But whatever, it gets the masses talking about the democratic party again so I guess mission accomplished. Still going to lose in ’08 but from now till then it will be fun to watch them try.

Bill Clinton the man that taught me that no question has to go answered.

Speaking of old men and the weather

“There are ominous signs that the Earth’s weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production– with serious political implications for just about every nation on Earth.”

You may think that I stole that from a recent magazine but in fact it’s a sample from a magazine article from 1975. Click the link to read the transcript of a senator just owning all of our alarmist scientists and over hype hungy media in regards to global warming. It’s a bit of a read but it’s a bit bigger of a laugh.

http://epw.senate.gov/speechitem.cfm?party=rep&id=263759

Pixel Philosophy

The tauren is a wall from which there is no view around. Stand behind him in a cave at your own peril. Wise is the man who rolls troll.

The wisdom of Gnarles Barkley

Everybody is somebody but no one wants to be themselves.

Screw Job of the Week

This one goes out to my beloved Chicago White Sox. You miserable bunch of punks. How in the world could this happen? Truly a case of the stats don’t add up. What makes it the biggest disappointment is that you guys were clearly the most talented group of players to take the field on a regular basis. However you couldn’t get the job done. Wheres your killer instinct? There was none….. you screwed yourselves and you have no one to blame but the man in the mirror.

Sigh. Nothing like the highest of highs to let you know what the lowest of lows feels like. Still its better than being a cubs fan. I Think ill go watch the championship videos from last year.

Now hiring…

Do you want to fulfill your lifelong fantasy and become a self inflated pretentious blogging jerk like your hero? Drop me a line as I would like add another persons opinions in this monster. J im looking right at ya.

bvan@MTCPerformance.com

Sean Connery is better than you….

With a single laugh he can change the course of an interns destiny.

Final thought…

You can’t hug a child with nuclear arms.

Peace I’m out…

B 95

Sulfurous

2006-09-21T16:05:00.000-05:00

Not a fan of this cold. Never have been never will be. Where is your molten sulfurous god now RA worshippers? Or was it Osiris? Either way your god or guild leader has forsaken you. Chicago seems to be into giving us just a tease every year. I realized today that its strange that I would choose to live in a region whos climate i feel comfortable in only 3 months out of the year. Why were not all equator bound defies my personal logic. My assumption would be that some one has to stick around to watch those Canuks. You know the second we turn our back the pull a knife out of the queer red coats they have and stab us straight through.

Speaking of Continental American traitors....

So this week in the UN council the Venezuelan president called US prez Bush a great satan or devil or some kind of sulfurous entity. And it was a news story but it wasn't much of one. Just imagine of the the shoe had been on the other sulfurous hoof. Outrage, efigies burned. Protest. Just another example of how the world secretly desires the big dog to go down in aL large sulfurous crater.

Looks like my Sox are done but at least the Bears have stepped in as a surrogate nurse. I'm sure the Vikings will have their veins filled with sulfuric rage as teh bears whomp them 21-7.

Final Thoughts

Predictions are a framework for a house of dissapointment.

Weekly Post de jour

2006-09-19T11:16:00.000-05:00

There’s no return from 26. But I did make it quite a memorable weekend. A quick story to summarize my actual birthday party.

In My Mind: On the ride home from the night club I made polite conversation, upon returning home I briefly snoozed upon the couch before adjourning to my bedroom upstairs.

From the mouths of babes: Apparently I was talking very quickly in the car and was very sentimental and repetitive, including multiple attempts to convince everyone in the car that the club we went too was “the best place to go that you never go to” Upon returning home I was found on the floor complaining that my stomach hurt. To which I was brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Which after eating prompted me to go lay down in the bathroom. After several cold porcelain moments I returned to the living room and immediately passed out into a slumber so deep that my wife questioned whether or not she should take me to the hospital. Apparently after a vigorous shaking I mumbled something resembling coherence and barely made it up the stairs under my own power.

So 26 started with a bang indeed. I send out a big thank you to those who were there and took care of me at every step. I had a blast.

So onto the business of the middle third of my life. Life expectancy (age 75). Goals this year:

I consulted with my life coach MR. T, he looked into his crystal ball and said the following words.

Get your behind educated boy!! MCSE certification by 2008 fool!
Get yourself looking less dumpy chump shoes!! The older you get the more you need to work out! Drink your milk!
Save your cash sucka! Children are around the corner. Stay off the drugs!! Quit your jibba jabba!!

Wise words from a wise man and I appreciated the time he spent with me. He said no charge but he grabbed the 20 dollar tip out of my hand so quick that it became apparent he had not seen one in a while.

Lets talk with my spiritual advisor

The Wisdom of Gnarles Barkley

I’m afraid because I have no fear…..

Ah Cee Lo you always open my eyes. Maybe my sweetie has something to chime in?

Tiffisms

Think of grapes as nature’s chips…

Can’t eat just one eh?

So it seems my most trusted advisors have come to a consensus we are in the final four of my countdown to thirty. Specialize, optimize and organize are the themes of this year of my life.

A burning question….

Cheating in games. Are we bound to the same moral code of honor in a fantasy universe? Can we put the same moral weight on our decisions in matters of insignificance? Clearly a developer sets a body or rules and allows us into an experience. Are we bound to those rules? As an example everyone has their own home set of rules when it comes to games like Monopoly and have you ever played an honest game of Monopoly?

Final thoughts

I hate politics but enjoy presidential races.
Of the three what honestly makes the biggest impact in your life? Friends, Family or business contacts?
Pets exist to help us realize how ready we actually are for the responsibility of children.
As my generation is deeply afraid of clowns will this generation be afraid of global warming?
Rebels rarely have a plan beyond breaking a system.

I’m in the business of bad ideas

2006-09-12T12:11:00.000-05:00

Who would have thought that a simple trip to my secondary job would be so rewarding and draining? I am now fully caught up on office politics. I discovered that starbucks coffee still puts me into a caffeinated frenzy and that arriving home at 3am is bad business. Twice this weekend I saw 4am such is the power of coffee.

Saw some old lower tier friends this weekend and it was nice. My friend Jim who we nick named “Amadeus” was there. Clean shaven and well groomed. He revealed that he now works at a bank. How the mighty have stumbled. Its’ funny how that seems to happen to us all. The ideals of youth begin to be packed away next to your homecoming shirts. Each of us turns to refugees blindly searching for the road to providence. Whatever will be will be.

NEW STUFF

Here are some brief snippets of some new sections that I will be cycling into these posts. Previously popular sections include Spammer Poetry and Final Thoughts.

Tiffisms

You shouldn’t eat meatballs and fish at the same meal.

The Wisdom of Gnarles Barkley

It’s deep how you’re so shallow.

Pixel Philosophy

Level 46 mages shouldn’t poly me. Perhaps he thought I wouldn’t want a DHK. He thought wrong.

Sean Connery is better than you….

Two words and a steely eyed glance is all it takes to add your lady to his harem.

Screw Job of the week

My secondary incomes bonus check is not released until the beginning of Q2. That’s a full 1 and half years without a bonus from you guys!!! Aw man SCREW JOB!!!!!!

Rallying Cry!!

No more aborted baby mustaches!! Down with razors by 2007!!!

Something Lost

2006-09-06T10:55:00.000-05:00

I know it’s the easy and possibly trendy thing to bash MTV but I myself enjoy easy and possibly trendy things. Last night by pure lack of available quality programming watch the MTV music video awards. I’m clearly dating myself but I can remember a time when the awards show was the craziest wildest most unpredictable event of the year. Which made it obviously a highly anticipatory event that often lived up to its billing.

Ever since P-diddy hosted the show has never been the same. If you thought you would check out the show let me save you a couple hours.

Cynical Award Show Review Go!

It had a good idea but some how It fell flat. Well ….not somehow Ill tell you exactly why. The show is bordering parody. The host Jack Black even starts the show off by saying that he is here to return the show to its former glory. We have a musical line up that showcases some quite talented acts. A guy who is funny in doses and a crowd that actually seems to want to be there.

Throughout the show The Raconteurs play us in and out of commercials which can only be interpreted as MTV screaming “SEEE were still valid!!! We gave you indie rock on a major network outlet!!! That’s Jack White out there people!! You love him all you crazy kids do!” Unfortunately Jack White lost pretty much all credibility when he did the Pepsi ad and his new band only made things worse. You can almost see the dollar signs in his eyes as he croons like a shell of his former self. I still like his music and will probably buy further albums but for all the hipsters out there he or the white strips are about as interesting as agricultural reports on AM radio.

While were on the topic. I think agricultural reports on AM radio should be the new indie! Are you a teenager who really wants to scare his parents? Blast that in your room and when your parents complain scream back “Not until we here where the soy futures are trending!!!” Guaranteed they will leave the room shaking their head,

Back to business.

The funniest trend for that show is that through out the night we have multiple artists complaining about the lack of rock on MTV. We then proceed to see performances from Panic at the Disco, that one band that wrote “Swing Swing” and the Killers. We also get “surprise” wins by Fall out Boy, that one band that did a video homage to “fear and loathing in las vegas”, AFI & and the grand prize going to Panic at the Disco.

The best moment of the night actually comes from the ‘swing Swing band” lead singer who is clearly sloshed as he walks up to accept the award. The booze seems to have cleared his ability to be coherent so he then goes to the rock star play book by calling out the name of the city that the event is hosted at. Cheap cheers are cheers none the less.

Second best moment would have to be the monstrous fake eye lashes on Davy Havock of AFI. I honestly expected him to begin to levitate during his acceptance speech should he blink hard enough.

Sentimental moment of the night was the Fall Out boy choking up a bit during his acceptance speech. True emotion? There’s no room for that here in MTV land. Maybe he was trying to audition for next seasons Real World. Fortunately the midget from Jackass carried him away before he proved how emo he was.

The music was good Panic at the disco did their emo circus act, looked like twelve year olds and overall could not sing. The Killers were the killers. Swing swing band was average. Christina Aguilera was talented but boring as usual. Beyonce must have stole Janet Jacksons choreographer as watching her performance easily transported me to the early 90’s accept without the drugs to make me feel that things were ok. The song was terrible too, Beyonce rapping? Honestly..no c’mon honestly!! Stick to vocals and gyrations. Lose the Rhythm nation dance moves.

Worst moment of the night would have to be Al “get on your feet and scream” Gore. Seriously I watch this show with the hope of entertainment and what do I get? A global warming speech? Seriously I watched the entire thing just waiting for one of the Jackass boys to throw a pie. I honestly thought there would be a punchline but it never came. He just talked and it killed the crowd.

So what do we see here? MTV desperately trying to change with the times pushing back some of the harder hip hop acts and taking on these new “indie” rock bands. I will never be someone to tell another to give up on your dreams. However MTV, you dream to return to relevance but you have become nothing more than an over hyped Wal Mart of artist promotion. Which only trivializes the moments when you try to be serious.

MTV, you remind me of the guy in the room who is always there. Sure you might talk to him and he’s probably good for a laugh but other wise forgettable and not a name or a face you will remember until the next time you stumble upon him. How the mighty have fallen. The same dark hands that can poison Jack white poisoned your eyes long ago. You stopped being about music and started being about hype. I’m sure it worked for a while. But your lowest rated show in years shows that the divine cup of the teenage market may be beginning to see you as you really are. Which should give us all hope for the future.

The end.

RIP

Even Evil Knevil fell of his bike once in a while. In that light it was only a matter of time before the worlds greatest croc hunter ever created by a media outlet passed away. It’s never a good thing to hear that a child will grow up without his father. Best wishes and prayers.

Cringe

2006-09-05T16:43:00.000-05:00

This morning I got in the elevator and pressed the button for the second floor. I was then scolded by some grey hair about my unwillingness to climb 10 stairs. I mumbled something about an over partied weekend and began to stumble out the door. He retaliated with your draggin too much for a 22 year old. Which has pretty much put me in a good mood for the all of the day.

Thats right kids I am but 10 days away from the awful anniversary of my birth hence marking the 26th year of my life. I would request a monetary donation of a dollar from all my regular readers. This in fact should net me 5 bucks!! Additionally a nickle will be required from all you off again on agains. That should be good for an additional dollar fifty.

Financial priorities are the name of the game for Q4. Lets take a look at the reasons behind some of my current goals.

1. The neighborhood is taking a dive. Plain and simple my quiet neighborhood is slowly succumbing to an out pouring of seedier types. Typically these trends dont turn themselves around quickly.

2. Well that wonderful time just after marriage where people give ya jabs about having kids is over. Now people are flat out asking and are impatient with the answer. Of course these constant inquiries begin to erode the mental strength of my significant other and suddenly its becoming a more and more pressing reality. The game plan baby we had a game plan!!!!

Oh well plans and necks are made to be broken. Just ask that well meaning hitchhiker that stumbled in front of my car on my drive home from Michigan.

Kudos to you who kept it casual and did not get pulled over this weekend. Cops were in full force and rightfully so. Too many drunken ametuers out there. Commanding a luxury 4 door vehicle is no God given right for the feeble minded.

Wow! Look at the time

2006-09-01T12:38:00.000-05:00

Honestly can you believe its September? It seems like just last week I was enjoying New Years by watching my wife be escorted down the aisle by Elvis. Does a fast year mean good things or bad things? I would imagine it means good. Let’s start listing what we want to accomplish in Q4. I’ll give mine next week.

Cheers.

A final desperate act (part 2)

Heard in a bar in Memphis…

That’s a nice tooth ya go there smiley.
A tire in every yard and a tub of moonshine in every basement!!
No I do not know the meaning of the word No!
I hear at night the mayor kills the homeless for sport. Behind his house is a big hobo grave yard. All I know is that fact or fiction he’s got my vote.
Grew up in Memphis, married a bear, died in a field with a bottle in hand and a smile on his face!! I miss you dad!!!!

Spammer Poetry

Tracks by Chwe (sjghynstt@proxad,net)

Pinkerton rallies country backfire. looks tipping occurred remained resolute policyone beefedup
mounted guards rendition family friends deceased terrible
Popcorn Balls Hailstone Ice Cream Enter Lauras Martha Charlotte

Combining Elements by Treesize (vdvdwpw@gaoland.net)

Hed produced Diary Rosa Brooks which included Jimi Hendrix guitar.
always welcome. suggested even better. technical spelling grammar
seems one.

Sad Panda

2006-08-30T12:02:00.000-05:00

Music

Well I gave a week to Gnarles and a week to Muse and I think I’m going with Gnarles as the winner. Believe me Muse put in a STRONG effort. The record just seems to be a little too heavy handed and there are more skippable songs then the Gnarles album. If you need a cd to send off your summer on a high note pick it up.

Changes

Sigh… So it has come to my attention that one of my better friends will most likely be departing the area and I can tell you that I am very bummed about it. I had always looked in astonishment at my uncles and other relatives who seemed content with being with family. Now I begin to see that it is not contentment but resignment. The old life passes away. Sure I have made new friends but I don’t like the new as much as the old. Is this the point when you have kids and just invest all of yourself into them? I now can see the life I knew in its final death throws and It bums me the #*&$ out.

When I’m bummed I start looking at my retirement funds. Yep still need to go to work this week. Yep probably should be sticking closer to that budget I worked out. If you haven’t checked them out yet do a Google search for ING Direct. It is by far the best non branched bank in regards to savings account APR.

Typing that last line made me feel old.

Gaming

“Guild drama is the last instance we all must run it is the true end game of all MMORPG’s” – Flor Tichondrius

Now we move on to an entirely different tier of friends. This week saw the departing of numerous key members of my primary hobbies association. I have brought up the scenario in the past. 20% of the people pulling 80% of the work. While my figures were probably skewed the point remains. Those that felt they were in the 20% have left us and now new faces begin to step up. Myself included. I have accepted new responsibilities in the game however…..

Much like:

Music
Music reviews
Web site design
Flash Animation
Message Board modding
Audio Engineering
Programming

The second I turned a hobby into a job I now know its only a matter of time before I burn out. I have never understood the people who say “find your passion and try to make a living off of it.” Every time I have found a passion the second it becomes a responsibility it ceases to have the same flair. Perhaps it would be different if I was my own boss but I have yet ever truly see this often touted philosophy come to fruition within my own life. At this point I can only assume that the flaw is mine. I believe it boils down to the fact that my own selfish wants is my only passion. Ouch.

Is there hope? Always.

Enough of this poor me pretentious crap lets get to the business at hand.

A final desperate act….

In a sad attempt to keep my friends from moving to the far off reaches of the globe I now present.

Top ten reasons Memphis sucks.

Plagued by hillbillies
Cowboys have regular shoot outs in front of local bars
Old people go there to play shuffle board with the grim reaper
Chewing counts as exercise
Cars with 4 doors still counted as a luxury expense
Dangerously close to third world countries such as Kentucky
Even the Simpsons haven’t gone there yet
The home of blue grass music means the ghetto of progressive culture
Very excited about having the access to the internet in 2010
Tornados are more common than eighth grade graduates

Final Thought

What language do deaf people think in?

Free in Hi Fidelity!

2006-08-28T13:32:00.000-05:00

Hope you had a great weekend. I worked during most of it and cant say much more than that.

If you have not heard the Gnarles Barkley album it pretty much owns almost every other cd I have bought this yer.

Cheers

The good times

2006-08-25T11:57:00.001-05:00

Why do we roll our eyes? Where at the genetic level causes this to happen? I can rember the first time my mother yelled at me for doing it. It can be presumed that I had done it before but the question is why do we do it when we can't believe something? Why not something else like leg convulsions? "Dont convulse your legs when I am talking to you!!" Damn it science where are you when i need you?

+50 Dkp if you can tell me the answer.

A special and belated get well soon to my good friend Yakles who blew my mind by having his internal organs give him the middle finger. I had begun to think that the "appendix" (spelling?) bursting was urban legend. Thanks to Yak we all can be re-assured that when you least expect it your body will try to kill you.

if your not down with www.whitecollarmoxie.com then you should not be reading this and head immediately over.

Happy Friday

Leaders and followers

2006-08-24T16:27:00.000-05:00

A large shift in the makup of my tier1 friends, many have gone and left us behind as sad pandas.

Work keeps making the hamster spin.

More vague commentary tommorow.

Stay attuned.

More Pills

2006-08-21T15:12:00.000-05:00

So bad news striketh. It appears that my three month battle with the cholesterol demon was not the rousing success that I had thought it was. Apparently weight loss is in no way an indicator of success in this fight. I now have to resort to chemical methods in order to control my hearts and veins ability to transfer blo0d through out my body. It's a route i did not want to take but my doctor said i have the same shot at naturally lowering my cholesterol as i do to radically alter my facce without plastic surgery. He's a sarcastic old medicine man.

A weekend of relatives allowed for a very relaxing visit to the shedd aquarium. This location I had not set foot in since i was a 12 year old. It actually was not as lame as i had pictured it to be. I had no real idea at the uniqueness and variety contained in our aquatic friends. And looking at these monsters is like gawking at another alien race. Crabs the size of your torso, fish with all manner of deformities and colors. It's cool stuff and worth a visit if you haven't in a while.

Happy Monday

Moments from Triumph

2006-08-18T16:17:00.000-05:00

Well tommorow we find out if high blood cholesterol is a controlable nuisance or a hereditary plague. Have to admit I am more than a little excited to get these test results. 3 months of healthy eating and 22-26 plds. lighter have made for one of the better quarters of this year.

The in laws are visiting proving once and again that I am not ready for children. I'm sure having my stuff treated poorly and constant screaming will be a joy when the antagonist is of my own genetics. However as life stands now its nothing more than what woke me up at 1am.

Abbia una fine settimana grande, non gridi per me che sono già guasto.

KH and a correction

2006-08-17T12:24:00.000-05:00

Correction

Well much thanks to several of my readers who took the time to let me know that I am no longer the pretentious audiophile that I once was. Apparently the Muse album came out over a month ago. So yeah that’s a trip to the local record shop. This better be worth it after the let down that I unleash upon you now.

Kill Hannah – Until theres nothing left of us

Preface: it’s been about 7 years that I have followed this band. 2 minor releases 1 major label release and now their latest. It has seemed like a never ending wave of forward momentum I honestly felt that the next album could be that final step.

Summary: The kill Hannah albums have always suffered from the KISS syndrome. For those of you that don’t know what that is I will explain. Kiss put out several albums before they became the mainstream monsters they unfortunately are now. Neither of these earlier albums did very well despite the traveling shows selling out shows across the country. It wasn’t until Kiss created a live album that they really blew through the roof because none of their previous work allowed the bands rawness and energy shine through.

Kill Hannah suffers the same syndrome. I have yet to take someone to a show that did not come out the other end as a believer. However when it comes to the studio process the band ends out sounding over produced (for ever and never). There’s nothing wrong with production see (melancholy & the infinite sadness – S,P) and in fact in this latest album I thought the producing staff did a fine job. The added some very nice touches and orchestration to try to fill up the tracks. However the extended heavy drum and light piano intros are straight out of the current pop goth playbook which makes me think that the producers were trying to make a record that AFI already did this year. Hey if your going to emulate may as well go with the last of your genre to debut at #1. Unfortunately there is a problem in this approach.

The songs. They…. They just aren’t there. You know its not going to be a good thing when the first track that catches my eye. The first track that really makes me feel ok this album is alright, was not written by Kill Hannah. It’s a Tears for Fears song. It’s really good, probably too good as perhaps the other material would have seemed more consistent and therefore more acceptable.

I would never consider Matt Devine a songsmith even though his journals and writing shows that his prose is high level. You could always count on him for some cleverness a simple turn of phrase, its just not there in this album. Bleak landscapes multiple references to lightning references to phrases in older songs. It just seems almost phoned in. I’m beginning to wonder if the desperations of youth are slipping from Matt’s mind in these recent years.

I will give KH the benefit of the doubt. There are enough small moments in this album that I can assume that they will find a way to market this into some new areas and I bet a lot of these songs translate great to the live stage. The album in my mind however is a disappointment. First listen, hate, second listen, acceptance. Third listen, hope, fourth listen, clarity. It’s just not a great album. Too many tracks to skip over, a missed opportunity in my mind and I hope that they see enough chartage/profitability to warrant a third try.

Best:

Milky Way

Decent:

Believer
Lips like morphine
Statues without Eyes

Passable:

Crazy Angel
Scream

Bad:

The Collapse
Black Poison Blood
Love you to death
Songs that Saved my Life

Pick it up on Amazon when they start selling them for about 5 bucks. Note: Congrats to them on this release as they did crack the Billboard top 200 for the first time as of August 19^th.

Facts & tragedies are best left ignored

2006-08-16T13:37:00.000-05:00

Hello all you crazy kids. I bring to you today a story of intrigue and danger probably on par to the first lunar landing. Possibly over hyped in a blog pre-amble. Eventually turned into a made for TV movie shown most likely on a rented cable access channel. Likely just involving me in front of a painted nature backdrop. It will involve me taking phone calls. Probably only from Jayson. Most likely just from my mom.

So the question of the day is what is the last crazy thing you have done? The definition of crazy is of course up for debate so for conversations sake lets say when was the last time you did something that went against your typical choice paths.

Mine happened this Sunday in front of a Taco Bell. I was approached by a stranger who asked for the time. I obliged him and then he went into his spiel. For reasons unclear he had ended up at this fine establishment and now had no method of returning home. Of course I initially offered the phone/cab route. However he mentioned that he had not been able to reach any companion in order to secure his route.

I then considered how I would feel had I been thrust into such a situation. I would in fact hope that someone would help me. So I threw my more cautious inklings behind me and invited the stranger into my car. It was a curious trip indeed. Along the way my companion revealed he was carrying a number of illegal substances, His story kept getting more and more convoluted as we journeyed farther on. He also kept attempting to prolong his time in my vehicle. I reminded him that I had originally left my home with the desire to eat and had as yet not done so.

By this point we are in the ghettos of Elgin. Which, despite what all the yuppies would like to believe, is directly next door to everything fun and glamorous in the town, At this point he motioned that at the corner would be his final destination and at this point I was more than happy to oblige him. As I placed the car in park he requested a cigarette. Trying to remain positive I gave him three in hopes that the generosity would spurn motion on my travelers part. Finally he asked if I had any money. I told him that I only carried plastic forms of payment. To which he replied. “I wish you did.”

A few macabre scenes flooded my mind and I quickly began to realize that my quiet trip had probably been teetering closer to dangerous chasms than I had previously recognized. Fortunately the mind and eye moved to a tiny amount of change sitting in a box at the front of my car. I reached in and pulled out an unconfirmed amount of change and placed it into his hand, He said thank you and offered the pound. Which I rather feebly returned, I have probably on had 5-6 moments of pure relief in my life. The moment the door closed behind him I took off. I am not even sure where he went. I did not even look in the direction he was headed.

It is quite possible that the issues I am dealing with now in regards to this event are entirely in my head. It’s quite possible I did nothing more than give a drunk a ride home. I am not sure if the experience has strengthened or weakened my resolve to show compassion unto all men. I may actually never know the fates that may have happened to either my passenger or I should I have made the opposite choice. All I can say is I wish nothing but the best for the guy and hope that he reflects on the moment and can realize that sometimes you may actually bump into a moment of kindness in an other wise cruel world.

Oh and Brian, If you would happen to find yourself in the same scenario. Don’t tell the kind hearted person driving you around that you have drugs on you. Tell them up front or don’t tell them at all. If we weren’t moments away I would have dropped your ass off immediately.

Other Peoples Music

Well I guess I am in glam/goth heaven this year as it has seen new releases from Placebo, AFI and Kill Hannah. I will try to bust out a music review for you for the KH album tomorrow. If anyone has any music suggestions that I need to hear leave a comment. I think I need to get out of this pop-goth rut. Seriously when does the new muse album come out?

Final thoughts

Is there anything more ridiculous then feeling shame for your performance in a video game?

My new MAC laptop is the shiznite.

Right clicking is a hard habit to get out of.

Stack ranking is a cruel mistress.

Bosses only exist to make a final point after you shut them up.

Agenda's

2006-08-14T12:08:00.000-05:00

Once while enjoying a particularly sharp mixture of hallucigens. I had a conversation with a friend concerning the clear definition of a dream versus a daydream versus a vision versus a hallucination. Furthermore if you have a “daydream” during night hours have you simply had a dream? Of course there was no scientific data to substantiate our positions. The intertwining conversation drifted from the literal to the philosophical. Analogies were made discarded and re-made. No notes were taken and finally no great epiphany or even agreement reached.

Little did I know at that time that I was preparing for my life in the corporate business world. There seems to be a new trend floating around the office of the over meeting. While I understand the need for community contact with my current contact lists I do not understand how we can justify organizing 7-10 people for a talk with an open agenda. My imploration to all would be that if you have to take the time to make sure you have the reason. 3 times last month prior to a scheduled meeting, I called ahead to my clients just to nudge them in the direction of “lets meet next month”. It’s time that we all don’t have and it may be time for me to try to redirect the mindset that seems to have come over the company.

Movie Review

With much anticipation I had picked up V for Vendetta which was one of my top books I had read in the last 2-3 years. I won’t be one of those people that complains that the book was better than the movie. Let’s just establish that as a rule not a statement. I will say however that the movie did the best it could to establish the characters and hit the main points of the original material. If you have not read the book then I would definitely recommend you do. If you have read the book you will miss some of the back story. I thought it was an interesting choice to have them keep the opening diatribe laid out by “V” on the quite exasperated Evee. Introducing a character in that method is quite unusual and may be the reason quite a few people who were casual fans may have been thrown off from the onset by the character.

Sports

Sporting events are a cruel mistress. The White Sox set the bar last year by winning it all. This year it seems that they do not have the same caliber of pitching staff. They may get into the wild card but they aren’t the same team.

All of the sudden they take 2 out of 3 from the Yankees and then sweep the Tigers. Suddenly first place is achievable. Suddenly that glimmer of hope returns to my once dead eyes. I don’t want to put too much faith. I don’t want to give too much hope, but sometimes in life hope is all you have. And it looks like the prodigal son is beginning to slowly change course.

Hope you all had a relaxing weekend.

Happy Monday

Little Things

2006-08-09T12:57:00.000-05:00

In my ever present quest to become truly humble I have noticed several quirks about myself that I do for no reason other than to reassure myself that I am providing a certain appearance. One of these quirks I noticed yesterday is that when carrying a book around I make a conscious effort to have the title of the book facing outward. It’s not enough that I am carrying a 400 page text book around. No, everyone will know that I am reading a book concerning Linux Administration and they will be impressed damnit! Nay, In awe!.... of my nerdiness. Ridiculous indeed it is, completely fueled by my paranoia around looking un-intelligent.

While appearance is everything when it comes to matters that don’t matter, I wonder what other little horrors I have let slip into my psyche. How many other superficial Kevlar vests have I adopted to prevent myself from ever coming to grips with my true nature?

Literature

If I ever had the time I always thought it would be fun to write a novel. I started writing one at age 18 but quit when I couldn’t come up with a good metaphor to compare the rising of the sun through a window with the first thoughts of the main characters waking hour.

I now present to you the opening lines of a novel I decided to start writing as of 5 minutes ago.

Blood, bath & Beyond
By Brandon Van

1. A symphony, a shot & a Bag

Trent was dead before his body touched the ground. Mouth agape in a final silent scream his torso was lifted awkwardly into the air finally collapsing straight onto his back. Trents’ head soon followed giving a sickening smack as skin, bone, cement and glass all met at once. All present for this event would remember this clamor for the remainder of their short lives. All attempts to stop that sound would prove futile. The noise, the finality the moment. It would be stuck like glue. It would haunt it would taunt and it would suppress every cognitive hour.
As the final echo’s of the gunshot rang through the cavernous halls of the alley the five men still standing stubbornly tried to clear the shock of the moment from their minds Bodies slowly were released from fears paralysis, eyes furiously began to dart sharing and confirming the feelings of terror sadness relief and approval. All knew that everything had changed and there was now no chance of going back. All eyes turned to one individual. With one hand he still tremblingly held his weapon pointed out right where Trent once stood. Right outside the bar they all had frequented for so many years. Right inside the rowdy neighborhood that they all had spent so many nights stumbling around enjoying the far too infrequent moments of pure happiness that life brings us. The hand had its final seizure and abruptly stopped. Silent breaths were taken and held as the remaining five men waited for the hands next move…

And right about there I decided to get some lunch.

Happy Wednesday!

Not since college

2006-08-08T13:54:00.000-05:00

Well what a weekend we did have. For quite some time I had become under the impression that my prowess at alcoholic consumption had waned but apparently nothing could be further from the truth as I heartily enjoyed a 3 day binge from Thursday 6pm to Midnight Sunday morning. Needless to say the wedding was wild and just being with my friends for that long of a time in those types of circumstances was nothing short of incredible.

I returned to work this week with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. I felt it was needed to help me gain the focus required as the tug of war for my time has officially begun. On one side technology offers cool projects and a wide assortment of perks on the other side my client relationship team continues to throw every mundane task they can throw at me. Yes I understand that I am leaving you a big hole that wont go staffed for some time. No, I don’t want meaningless busy work in a sad attempt to say that since I haven’t completed certain tasks I cannot begin tech work.

Right now I have a 50 50 split for my time. However none of my tasks has been taken away from me as promised. So now I am trying to compress a 40 hour work week into a 20 and then stumble into whatever tech issues need completing. I believe that my first priority will be to hand my client relationships off before a ball gets dropped and I end up looking irresponsible. Not sure how I agreed to this position but here I am and may as well try to make a legend out of myself. I can also feel the tension between myself and other client managers, if I can pull this off in half the time that they usually do what does it say about them. What does it say about the companies metrics?

So yeah there may be a few people that would not shed a tear if I failed at this little game.

Just over the horizon lies the golden land of technology. How I long to bathe in its digital sunshine.

War

Ah Israel! How you reveal so much about the world. Israel may be the only country that can be attacked. Return fire and then be condemned. As soon as they make a move suddenly the entire world is calling for an end to hostilities. Where the global cry for the end of hostilities in another turbulent portion of the middle east? Why isn’t the world community having emergency meetings to work out a peace agreement between rival factions in Iraq?

The world wants to see the US get its ass kicked. Much like when you laugh when the boss spills mustard on his fancy new tie. The world appreciates America with egg on its face. I digress yet pause for a later date.

Peace

Peace out.

Birthdays and rebirths

2006-08-01T16:22:00.000-05:00

So each day brings me ever closer to my promotion and it couldn’t come at a better time. The current method of half in half out will be attempted but I am going to work my tail off to make sure that it becomes completely useless keeping me around on the old team. As far as the new job?

Well much like communism it all looks good on paper. I am still waiting to see if the hammer will drop in regards to actual duties. Probably should try to get that in writing. Oh well they wanted a guinea pig and I wont hesitate to squeal.

Today marks a momentous anniversary. ‘Twas but 23 years ago that about a thousand homes lit up with the tune “Video killed the Radio Star” Yes, on this date MTV was launched. With it came a vicious sea change in the method and delivery of marketing music. Your thoughts on the good or evil of this day matter little anymore. MTV changed the way entertainment was brought to us in all forms of media. If you look at the majority of motion picture films they all use jump cuts from start to finish. Basically we have a crop of up and coming directors straight from the 3 minute music video era. All forms of media had to pick up the pace. MTV is definitely the pioneer that changed our collective attention spans and somehow has maintained Madonna’s popularity for 2 generations.

Speaking of movies and all their quick cuttery. I finally sat down and watched a film that I had been meaning to see for quite some time. Don’t come to this place if you’re looking for depth of film reviews or even research of cast or directors. “Hero” is a film by some Asian person starring Asian folks I dont know and it is great.

Beautiful movie. Spectacular, lengthy action scenes and the typical everyone dies movie that just makes the film seem even more epic. At certain points in this film I honestly felt that I was watching a film that fulfilled every childhood/ninja fantasy I had ever envisioned. Seriously the wire work in the action scenes were poetry.

I also saw House of Flying daggers which is good but not as good as Hero all things considered.

Sorry for the mostly useless post. Keep in good spirits all. I promise I will climb that mountain and return to relevancy as soon as this job switch is complete.

Call me Smokey

2006-07-26T16:58:00.000-05:00

So it was the typical start of an office day. A small fire leapt into my bosses cube causing a brush fire, which burned to my bosses boss causing a forest fire. The Boss comes to me in a panic and lets me know that things are hot damn you Hot!! I tell her what I need and she herds off. 3 hours later she comes back and we have this conversation.

Boss: Hows that report coming?

I: Still need that thing.

Boss: Why didn’t you escalate this to me?

I: We talked about it 3 hours ago.

Boss: You made me aware of the situation but you didn’t let me know that it still was an issue.

I: I told you an issue and what I needed. This is the first I am hearing from you since.

Boss: You need to keep me more in the loop.

So this went on for a while and it became more evident that this was becoming a bigger and bigger deal in managements mind. The flames burned ever brighter. However here I am at the end of the day sitting feeling like my name should be Smokey the Bear. Issue is solved bad day averted.

Sometimes nothing feels better than pulling yourself from the mouth of flames.

Final thought

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

Drama

2006-07-25T13:53:00.000-05:00

Since boy first met girl drama was born to the world. Despite our recent advances in technology scientists still have not found a viable solution to the plague that seems to strike us from the womb. Drama serves a valuable purpose in our life, filling our hours of water cooler time with topics above and beyond the day’s events. The he said she said serves as valuable fodder for an entertainment industry that slowly lurches towards a balance of pretentious lunacy and viable responsible actions.

Yes your wealthy yes you have a right to use your wealth to communicate a message. Yes you should attend to the causes you believe in. No I don’t really need or care about your views. No I am not really interested in what you have to say. No I don’t think your educated enough to make an appropriate decision on the topic.

A problem lies within drama as it seems to cascade down onto the general populace. In fact there is no seems there only is. The joy of the internet has provided is the veil of anonymity. From the throne of the almighty people are freed to embellish upon us their wisdom and venom. I present to you simple steps in order to argue on the internet:

If you disagree with someone, insult them. Good insults include: fanboy, commie/leftie, redneck/hillbilly, or any reference to the poster's mother or size of genitalia
If anyone disagrees with you, see point 1 above. Additionally, suggest they should move to China/North Korea/Nazi Germany, where they wouldn't be allowed an opinion.
Prevent any rational discussion from starting by pre-emptively attacking people before they get to answer. For example "go ahead, mod me down. Anyone who agrees is a stinking [insert insult here]"
Don't let facts, figures or other such bizarre notions get in the way of your rant. If you choose to use any facts, quotes or other material, just pick out the bits that "prove" what you think
Be inconsistent and self-contradictory. This makes it more difficult for anyone to make sense of what you said and attempt to counter it.

In my life to relax I play with an active group of around 80 people doing online gaming. In the game as in life might makes right and large numbers of people are needed to achieve goals. The coordination of these efforts are reserved for popular members of the group who seem to excel at administration, problem solving and diplomacy.

Again the same as life there are a group of people who pursue this endeavor with leisure and there are those who pursue with vigor. It is the vigorous who often feel that they are dragging the leisurely with them. It is near impossible for a vigorous person to understand the point of view of the leisure. The leisure often understands the point of the vigorous but don’t really care even though they may express that they do. In this case it is fair to say that the 80/20 rule is in full affect. 20% of the membership is providing 80% of the resources and content for the group.

So where is drawn the middle line?

A lawyer would look at things that have been agreed upon by the community. In this group of people an agreement has been reached which by my interpretation seems to favor a leisurely pace. All members both leisure and vigorous have signed an agreement to these rules.

A lawmaker could view the issue in a more progressive way. If it wasn’t for the vigorous there would be very little reason at all for their to be a community. The vigorous in fact are the providers to the community and therefore should rightfully be given the task of setting the pace. The vigorous’s goals are not to alienate or infringe on the rights of the leisures but rather to grant more opportunities for all.

Clearly there are no easy answers, in fact management gurus across the world and time itself have tried to find the solution to the riddle. It is my belief that in these times there is a need for team leadership to mitigate the compromise. Typically this is influenced by renewed goal setting. Removing some resources by diverting them from one objective to the next or focusing fire. In this case it may be a need to evaluate what will bring in more bang for its buck.

Unfortunately these types of decisions tend to defer to the leisure’s which will not at all provide any form of motivation to any party. The vigorous feel betrayed and the leisure’s are placated. In the big picture both vigorous and leisure are replaceable. Despite their efforts the grind goes on with or without them. In this membership and similarly to the real world; people come people go but the motion never stops.

It boils down to leadership. Leadership will make or break the organization. To be continued..

Protect me from what I want

2006-07-20T12:17:00.000-05:00

As my head hit the pillow last night the last embers of fading ethos sparked a comical idea. "If theres a power outage I'll have an excuse to not go to my stupid 8 a.m. meeting." Fate played its cruel trump card and delivered unto me the exact scenario. However upon achieving the situation there was no whimsy. Not a moment of delight. Rather, your hero found nothing but stark terror creeping over every waking inch of his spine. The only comfort was that my bodys superior attunement had given me at least a small amount of opportunity to actually be there in time by waking me at my normal rising hour. However for the Thursday meeting I typically have to wake a full hour earlier. So you can see the dillemma.

Bullet shower taken. I hopped in my golden chariot lips pursed with the sneer of a veteran sea captain. Charging up the banks of the western suburbs superhighway I was greeted by a slew of vessels all gripped in community gridlock. Yarr Matey!!, I screamed as the poor weather continued its thunderous symphony upon the roof of my car. From side to side a steered my craft. The 12 year old engine sputtered and roared angrily as I pushed it to the limits of its operational functionallity.

Fierce winds howled all about me, it seemed a thick fog was slowly encompassing the entire ship. A fog? NO, it be the internal temperature of the ship causing condensation within my viewing ports. I reached for my pack of tobacco courage and contemplated the dillemma. Seeing no other option I furiously forced down my port side window and stuck my dishevelled head out the window in order to continue my journey. A blinding spray caught my eyes and doused the interior of my ship. Channeling the spirit of Commodore John Paul Jones I looked for my opening.

The slew of other vessels began to thin with only 10 minutes to go till my meeting and still 6 miles out from the shore. I pushed the engine to 65 knots or 75 miles per hour for you land lubbers. A monstrous merchant ship rose up on my aft side and tried to swipe me. With a measure of skill and blind luck I swung behind him and navigated off the great highway.

I pushed through the straight of 53, a cursed place it is! I drifted through the shores of the mighty Algonquin! It was there that I saw my port! Land Ho! I screamed at the top my water and tobacco filled lungs. As soon as she beached I lept from the soaked and tired vessel. I decided to risk offending the gods and lady luck by abstaining from taking the time to recite the sailors prayer of thanks for safe journey.

At full sprint I quickly reached the hut where all the tribal cheiftans met. Thankfully my profficiency in sailing had only cost me five minutes of the meeting. My abscence was not mentioned in any form. I spoke no more than 15 words during the next hour and a half. As I now have the chance to reflect I wonder why I did not just call in sick.

A great time to be alive

2006-07-18T14:49:00.000-05:00

Have you noticed a trend lately? This trend is found in our news and the reporting. Todays drudge report's top headline "Power Holds as America bakes!!" Last night on CNN i saw a report concerning the warm temperatures across our country.

It's summer. It's warm. Apparently there is some sort of war going on, but forget that. Dude its frickin warm here in the states.

Some would cry out but it's hot! Record breaking Hot!

Yeah it's hot. It's summer.

When did July temperatures warrant national coverage? Will there be a news flash when it snows in more than one state at a time this winter?

Anniversary

2006-07-12T12:49:00.000-05:00

Tommorow I celebrate the fourth year of my marriage to my wonderful wife. I can honestly say that the time goes by way too fast. With much to do today I will only leave you with a moment of sentiment. Cherish every second.

Happy Wed.

Bands that Change your Life

2006-07-11T12:06:00.000-05:00

I would assume that most people make music a regular part of their day. It is almost unavoidable. If you plug into any major outlet of media you will hear some sort of tune whether you are looking for it or not. Music has an awesome power to affect our moods, inspire or depress our lives and bridge divisions among any divisive lines.

If you don’t know I have been known dabble in the art form and it has had a profound affect on my life. I will not present the artists, songs and albums that specifically shaped who I am.

Green Day – Dookie

Depending on your level of music snobbery I may have gone down a few pegs in your eyes. However, a little known fact about myself. I listened to nothing but rap music until I was 15. None of my friends listened to rock. In fact I was embarrassed when I told my friends that I enjoyed this music and I was soundly mocked. This album was the reason I started playing drums, this album was the reason I started playing music.

Smashing Pumpkins – Siamese Dream

This would qualify as the first defining album that changed the way I played instruments and the way I wrote songs. The first time I received this album I was getting in a car to start a road trip all the way to Northern California. It never left my cd player. I would assume that I listened to this album a minimum of 70 times that month. Seriously I did not listen to any other music during this time. I could play this album including solos flawlessly. Until I patched things up with my parents, Billy Corgan served as more of a father figure than the one responsible for my birth. I read everything listened to everything. I own every B-side every rare release. I saw their second to last show. I listened to any interview I could get my hand on. I made a video tape of myself playing a tennis racket and singing their songs which of course my parents found. My love for all things pumpkin has dramatically dropped off after I begin to see Billy in a more mature light rather than just bowing to a guitar god.

Placebo – Without you I’m nothing

In many ways Placebo picked up where the Pumpkins left off. This album in particular was in constant rotation both my senior year and again in my sophomore year of college. Sophmore year of college was the first and only time I met someone else who actually knew about Placebo and secondly actually liked this band. This is probably their best album followed closely by Meds. Whiny vocals, goth, punk, techno, pop its all here. If you listen to their songs and listen to my work you’ll see I’m nothing but riding their ideas. These guys have emerged as my new fave band.

Gary Numan – Cars (song)

This is my all time fave song. It was the first time I had heard synths used fully in a rock song. It continues to be the only song that I never get sick of hearing. This song turned me onto synth rock. I couldn’t really say more aside from gushing.

Honorable Mentions

Deftones – White Pony
Garbage – 2.0
Marilyn Manson – Omega and the Mechanical Animals
Weezer – Pinkerton
Bleach – Space
Alkaline Trio – From here to Infirmary

Leave me a comment and let me know some of your bands that changed your life.

Intimidation

2006-07-10T10:06:00.000-05:00

Most of us do our best to put up the front that we are not intimidated by anything. As a male and possibly a female it begins around early adolescence. Around this time I realized that the people that I regularly associated with were both friends and enemies. With the bursts of hormones raging through our young hearts the games of one upsmanship began to increase in tenacity and venom. A lot of this revolved around our desires to be perceived as valuable by the fairer sex. As our bodies change we also begin to try to develop a tougher exterior in order to mask our visible weaknesses. Some develop this quicker than others. Some date cheerleaders while other create role playing games by using pen paper and construction paper made characters. Told you I was a nerd.

I can remember one such time when school had broken for the day. Often while waiting for our various means of transportation we would play whatever games children play in front of the school. On this fine occasion a girl I was running in a panic from a “love” interest of mine who was chasing me down with a dandelion in hand. She desperately wanted to blow its parachute like seeds at me. A fellow boy who also took a liking to this girl saw this. While she backed me up through the threat of ….pollination I suppose the other boy had maneuvered his way behind me. I tripped over an outstretched foot having my head soundly snap back on to city sidewalk.

I’ll never forget my first thought. I looked up into the eyes of terror from both girl and boy. Wide eyes mouth agape she continued to clutch her flower while the shadow of guilt began to fall over the face of my antagonist. My first thought was to not cry. I wanted to be strong; I had to show no intimidation. So I stood up. Quickly I felt drops of blood beginning to descend from my head to neck to back. I stood and tried to give those now gathered around me a look of indifference. However the cries of surrounding teachers had now reached my ears. I remember finally grabbing my head as the teachers rushed me to the nurse. Ill never forget my hands covered in my own blood.

I never ratted out the kid that did it to me either. I upheld the guy code. I showed no intimidation.

Now as an adult the stakes are a bit higher. If I am intimidated I am weak and I would let my clients walk all over me. Even when I agree with my clients I still have to argue with them in an attempt to show that we do not simply roll over to their demands. Through the years I have mentally told my self so many times that I now believe it. I am not intimidated.

Well yesterday I discovered something. As I sat on a deck in the sunlight I realized something about myself; I am intimidated by wealth. Often I have wondered internally how I have ended up in these places. As I have said before, growing up people from the suburbs were despised. They were the rich kids who had nicer baseball uniforms. They were elitist, they could never understand. So as I was driving to attend a party it quickly became obvious that this neighborhood lived by the motto, “a hummer in every drive way, and a bmw in every garage.”

So as I am sitting on this monstrous deck over looking an equally monstrous back yard complete with children’s bounce tent, and a horse shoe pit. I wonder to myself. How in the world did I ever get to this point and how can I stay here. I have never seen so many attractive people sipping mimosas and making pithy comments about random occurrences. One woman went into a ten minute spiel concerning using the word “ociffer” instead of officer when drunkenly addressing a public official. I’m not even kidding she was tearing the house down. She didn’t even have a decent story it was more that a friend said the word to her when talking about policemen.

These people just seem to operate on different wave lengths than myself. I have felt the same way about most Christians that I meet. Most of which is to my detriment and completely my fault. However I was intimidated by them. I felt like an outsider, I felt poor.

The obvious answer here is that what’s gone wrong is that my grounding slipped. For a moment I allowed myself to be intimidated by possessions and objects that are ultimately worthless. There is currently no happy ending to this tale. No greater lesson learned. In many ways you already know what intimidates you, it’s just a rarity that you get confronted by it especially now that I am an adult and I can build my own little bubble. I was hoping that by the time I finished writing this scattered little talk about my own little quirks that I would have a good moral or wrap for the entry. But I don’t. Hopefully you got something out of it. Don’t ground your worth on your possessions.

Weight

A new record at this mornings weigh in. With only 28 days to go until my next cholesterol test I will be pushing hard this month. To date I have lost 25 pounds by simply eating regular meals every couple of hours, not eating sweets, no fast food and no red meat. Crazy stuff.

Tommorow

We are going to look at the music that defines you. Most of us have a song that always resounded with us. I’m going to take a look at the music that made me. Join me tomorrow for a sentimental trip through my Ipod.

Long Time no See

2006-07-07T13:09:00.000-05:00

Forgive the random timing on these posts Ill try to get a full week in next week. Oh wait nevermind I am gone thursday and friday. Well I'll try to give you at least three worthy entries. next week.

Now I can’t claim to be the pioneer of working the deal. I only emulate the stories I have heard. For this I must first give props to Yak as he negotiated this deal blindly. For myself I came in with a pseudo game plan. Here is how I got the current new subscriber deal.

Preperation:

Pen and piece of paper, last 6 months worth of billing statements.

Action

I had an easy in. Comcast had been wrongfully billing me for over two years. It was only a minor charge at 3 dollars a month. Since I had experienced poor service from my internet I figured that now was the best time to call and complain about that while twisting the knife concerning my missbiling.
Talk to a tier 1 rep who says she doesn’t have records beyond 6 months. Obviously I disagree with her offer to refund the 6 months. I get fussy and get bumped a level.
Tier 2 rep makes no promises but does agree to create a case for their accounting firm to look into the matter. She warns that I may have to provide a proof of purchase concerning my modem. I indicate that this is unacceptable as the installer clearly noted that I would not be renting their product.
Minorly satisfied I ask to talk to their technical support. Technical support guy is the technical support jerk that we all are. He informs me that quote “any service is good service”. I am thrilled with that answer and write his name down.
He tries to work with me on my comp but the call “drops”.
I call back and ask for their retention department. The tier 1 says that he is qualified to do this. Knowing that he is not, I make sure to blather incoherently about the poor service the tech guy gave until he transfers me up the line to a Tier 2 tech guy who simply asks when I would like a tech guy to come out as was my original request. Original mission has now been fully accomplished.
Since I have already moved above the tier 1 drek I decide to press my advantage and get transferred to their sales team.
I get a Tier 1 sales person to whom I state my desired offer. She claims that it is not available. I trump her by letting her know that a recent friend just got the offer. I am immediately transferred.
Tier 2 sales is not budging and voices begin to escalate. She asks for an address of who I know that had gotten the offer. I give it, she gives a confused statement, I silently let her words hang in the air and I am transferred again.
Tier 3 begins to work on my new deal. We talk for quite some time. Finally she says oh the computer will not allow her to enter my order. Clearly she is playing the “it’s not my fault its technology that is screwing you over” card. She says that my only option would be to discontinue my service with Comcast.
I had gone too far to quit now. So I got her name and direct extension and called her bluff. I ask her to transfer me over to whomever I need to speak with to discontinue my services.
At last I have reached the people I want to talk to. I begin talking to a very friendly woman and we begin to exchange some pleasantries. When I tell her the score she initially tries to be coy about the promotion.
I then unload on her every negative aspect of my phone trip through Comcast, I tell her about the improper billing and when I give the name and extension of the previous person who had arranged the deal suddenly the flood gates opened. Suddenly technology worked and there was no need to discontinue services. I got my new deal and all is right in the world.

Lessons learned

It was a two hour phone call but one I am glad that I made. I got 6 meg internet, a phone line, digital cable with HBO and a High definition receiver and services for a full year for only 110 dollars.

The two biggest things I have learned from this are persistence and pressing your advantage. I had been receiving poor service when I got on the phone I was given poor service. Rather than accepting it I kept going after what I wanted. Once I had achieved that everything else was just gravy. All I wanted was a small refund and a service tech to come out to my house. I got that and a whole lot more. Don’t stand for poor service. When it is given use it against them.

As a side note to this wondrous story I am making assumptions on the actual structure and tiers of their customer service reps based on my own knowledge of customer service systems.

Side notes

Aphelion if you still read this give me a call as I seem to not have your current number.

Cheers!

Birthdays

2006-07-03T14:36:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Yak and America. In that order.

Today I spoke to a long time friend, we lamented the good times of the past and gave witness to the curious future that awaits us. His countdown is in it's final year and the haze of immortality has lifted from his eyes. The man was the eternal city minded folk and it is good to see that he will need to elevate his personal desire for responsibility in order to move forward in his life.

an intersting thing it is to have grown upper Low lower class in an urban environment. In many happy ways I have become what I and my friends most despised. I'm a yuppy. So long to dreams of urbane chic music dwellings. I find now that I often run and look for places of solitude rather thatn boisterousness in an effort to relax. I belive at the core of this contempt for subarbinites lurks the ever popular class envy. Suburband in rural kids are viewed as people of wealth who had all the means in the world. The great caveat of this contempt is that no where inside this does one find the courage to go beyond their means. In this envy there also seems to be resinment to ones fate.

I am certain that this is even more present for those who are living in project housing and their ilk. Despite a large portion of public funds being dumped into these environments it's still nearly impossible to convince a child that he can grow beyond his surroundings. There is a saying that irks me to this day. "Where you begin is a good indicator of where you'll end up." I have no doubt that the poor firmly believe this and then use it as a crutch for not getting things done.

I wouldnt bore you with some form of uplifting story of the girl with three legs half a brain and 5 eyes who one day became the mayor of some crap town. It has to come from inside or you have to go to the true source. I often have repeated to myself that "I am my only obstacle" to some extent this is true.

As we head into the fourth of July try to get over yourself and move forward with your life. If your sick of something being a constant in your life, work to remove it. If you are working torwards removing it, keep it up. The first half of the year has passed what have you accomplished? For some there will be clear things for others a bit less. Some will find progression some will find dissapointment. The point is that there is something there. Move forward.

Ideas for my tombstone inscription.

10. Click to Ankh!
9. It was this or listen to my Grandkids cry.
8. view the corpse at www.corpseview.com/BV
7. Get me out of here!
6. You still owe me Lunch
5. It was the clown.
4. Avenge me chipmunks!
3. Whos hand is this?
2. I've looked better.
1. See ya soon.

So many opportunities

2006-06-29T16:03:00.000-05:00

Life & Love

I have decided to commit next Friday to the pursuit of making others happy. No personal agendas. Pure servantship to all who I encounter. All snide looks and pissy clients will be greeted with a smile and their needs addressed within sensibility and acumen. I’m not sure how this day will turn out as I doubt I have ever lived a day of my life using this method. The worst part would be that I will actually have to work to accomplish it. With any luck this Friday will become part of my routine.

But it’s still today so all you wankers can kick off.

War

Any time there is war in Israel you should be interested. Have you ever wondered why with all the strife and genocide happening around the world, any time Israel so much as fires a round it is headline news? It makes sense if you’re in the know and if you’re not in the know we need to talk.

Sports

The NBA draft happened. The Sox keep winning, the Cubs keep losing. If you watched or enjoyed the world cup you’re a pretentious rube who’s trying to rise above your culture but the truth is you’re still just a rube. Go enjoy fringe society with soccer mom vans and starbucks. Sure soccer may one day catch fire in the states but if you’re reading this then you will be dead before it happens.

Final thoughts

Moving to Belvidere/Rockford area would afford me a 6 bedroom home on 19 acres, for the same price I can have a 3 bedroom in Huntley. The choice is clear.
Warm Diet soda tastes like it could power a nuclear reactor.

Transpose

2006-06-27T19:18:00.000-05:00

Im like a twenty one year old in a vintage wine cellar. I know its all good but I dont know enough to really enjoy any of it. Such is life as a slowly annointed Network Engineer. Linux thou shalt become my subject. You should see the 600 page tome of Linux Administrator knowledge I am being asked to lug around with me. It's all good and it gives me reason to get myself off of talking to people besides my boss.

Aarons new song is pretty cool. You should check it out if ya can.

ROCK AND ROLL

Setting up is hard to do

2006-06-23T16:30:00.000-05:00

So the slow build into moving to the IT team has fully begun. Got my second comp up and running and it appears a Linux distro awaits me upon the distant horizon.

Kudos to Yak, who today is going through his own difficulties in setting up his new home. Probably couldn't have asked for better weather either.

The dog continues to be in a zombified state much like my band.

Happy Friday!!

In Absentia

2006-06-22T10:58:00.000-05:00

So should you check in on this beast of a journal regularly you may have noticed that the frequency of posts has been in nearly the negative column. This is mainly do to this job transition I am going through where basically two departments now claw and scratch at me like a starved alley cat to an injured bird. With analogy stated this gives me little time for my less productive pursuits such as chronicling my life.

This time shall pass and hopefully the bends and winds steer me to happier trails. Shucks Howdy!!! (a reference few will get)

Worst day in a while

So Tuesday the 20^th probably was the worst day I have had in quite some time.

I screwed something up at work. Client was fine, a report was a day late. I called client and she lets me know that it is not a big deal. My bosses however throw a royal fit. Let me know I am lucky to keep my job, let me know that this looks poorly on me as someone who is within 90 days of getting a promotion. Yadda Yadda.

I meet up with Aaron after work and have a nice relaxing jam session with some equally skilled players. Afterwards Aaron reveals to me that the Record deal that we were hoping for has fallen through. Ouch. Strike 2.

No less than seconds after we shake hands and part ways for the evening do I get a call from the Wife who informs me that the dog has suffered a trauma and has started to throw up blood all over the floors. Strike 3.

A late night and tears finds me quite drained for the rest of this week. The work thing is fine after my bosses were subdued by the quality of my relationship with my client and a solid action plan to prevent further mishaps.

The band is the band.

The dog pulled through after a $500 stay at an animal hospital. Frickin dog keeps robbing me of vacation money. That’s a total of $2500 I have spent for this dog, that’s not including vet visits or food.

So yeah life sometimes kicks ya in the back.

And as a final kicker I installed a much awaited patch for my favorite time waister video game and it fatal errored itself into oblivion. After a full uninstall and reinstall the problem persists.

So yeah life sometimes kicks ya in the back and the gives ya a good one in the ribs if you twitch to much.

9 Random or Sequential Thoughts

Why does a bands release after a breakthrough album always take multiple listens to enjoy?
Did the market and media hype actually change your thinking?
What does peer pressure and group think do to an album
Is Kid A by Radio Head the worst album ever?
Is Pearl Jam the new Grateful Dead?
Could I artistically respect someone who liked either of those bands?
Why does Christian pop and rock always sound like it’s a few years late?
Why is being openly Christian more Taboo than openly Gay?
Kim Jong Il seems like he would be an interesting guy to hang out with. Pure megalomaniac

To do list

Find a position on the new Superman movie and stick by it. Regardless of whether you have seen the film or not.
Buy rent or steal the newly released dvd The hills have eyes
Try to combine physical activities and exercise with daily chores. Example (jog while sharpening your kitchen knives)
Become more adept with steering a car using only your knees.
Offer your left hand during hand shakes. Hold a look of contempt as the other person fumbles on the exchange.

Happy Thursday!!

I become a Jock

2006-06-19T12:13:00.000-05:00

Well the work life is interesting as now that I find my transfer date is set it not too miraculously is harder to focus on the tasks at hand. I don’t want to simply coast through the remainder of my time with these clients. However, the idea of ridding myself from them does give me a particularly high level of joy.

The change is not what I went to school for but it has been a hobby of mine for some time. It could be a good step towards finding where my true passions are.

So I have decided to make an attempt at some sever weight loss. My goal is to have lost 20 pounds by August 5^th. Last month I lost 16 pounds so it is not entirely unreasonable as a goal. To facilitate I dropped 300 bones on gear for both myself and my wife. Also I have pledged my efforts to a weekly softball league. The basic thought line here is that increased exercise plus the diet that has been working well will symbiotically provide the results.

Here is where my logic could go wrong. Aside from walks that happens on a 2-3 times a week basis I have not done anything to lose the weight aside from proper diet. So the case could be made that perhaps a measure of my weight loss could be attributed to a decline in muscle mass. However once I have begun to regularly work out. This muscle mass will actually cause my weight score to increase.

Either way 20lb’s is a fairly lofty goal. Coming out to a loss of .4 pounds a day for 50 days as I started Sunday the 18^th.

There’s also probably something fairly medically bad about loosing 37 pounds in 3 months. Still a goal is a goal and I set it. Off we go.

Happy Monday

Rainy Daze

2006-06-14T16:31:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you have got to thank God for lunch as I was pretty much dragging until i got my salad and chicken breast on.

Scenario

During the course of client transfer the previous client owner confided in me that he does not keep acurate billing hours due to clients apptitude to balk at these fees. My bosses boss charges us all during the switch to get down to business and find out how much we should actually be charging these clients because she is under the impression that it is low.

1 month now under my belt I show that billable hours have increased for my two clients by 30-35%. I feel I have donw a good thing.

Today I get pulled into the office and told that I need to get my act together and get these costs down for the client.

So now I dont track my hours. Im just going to use the exact same hours that my predecessor used last year despite volume.

Lesson learned: No matter how many times they ask for it sometimes people dont really want it.

Spammer Poetry

Nilly-willy by Rosln Chavez (8TRT463478@mail.ru)

organ gallery on-dit multiplication table mole-catching neoza pine
noble-tempered nurse tree palace car Palaeo-christian ox bile
moschatel family peace-inspiring Panama balata pack drill

muster-out never-silent numbers pool passion-colored Peach melba oar feather much-devouring
mole-eyed parrot bullfinch Pan-turanism
mosquito bar Non-stoic moisture-absorbent minor-leaguer Non-french Non-cymric morning-winged Pan-asiaticism Non-latin mummy brown once pinnate M-type star net worth
mid-career much-sought peach aphid oak-boarded net weaver
open-pan nursery stock new moon overdraft kiln

pansy-growing oft-named mirth-inspiring pearl hardening off-stage never-ready pansy-colored ovate-triangular murillo bark oak-covered nigger bug oat grinder one-horned
oat-shaped orange-striped panic-stunned never-winking Pan-arabia
ore miner Passion sunday off-setting party line

odd-humored old-fogyish milling cutter partridge pigeon outside lap Pan-israelitish paste wash
osier-fringed on-glaze Neo-hegelian
paschal controversy new-admitted mid-tarsal never-dietree nook-shotten news-making needle gun mis-enter

Shakers not Movers

2006-06-13T15:09:00.000-05:00

ACT 1

So after much trepidation the great I is of Operations finally was corralled into a serviceable one on one setting. Behold!! He shouted with a great voice. I have traveled the lands of the corporation far and wide searching for a solution to the outsourcing of our IT infrastructure maintenance. With a smile as wooden as Jepedos puppet I gazed into the eyes of he that doth make the corporation operate. Un-dismayed by my static nature the czar of operationa unfolded his grand schemes for my career. The earth shook as he laughed his stories of my current warlords objections to my departure from the herd. Behold! He saideth unto me. In but three months time and a fortnight I see for you a new position sitting on the right hand of the Server and support manager. I charge you go to forth unto the nation for a time yet know that on the morrow that I call upon thee you will be furthermore charged with the roles and duties befitting a second tier IT team member.

A static shock of laughter burst forth from my spiraling innards. In a second it was swallowed as the moments temperament had made a change in season. He peered at me with the dead eyes of a man who has too long looked upon a LCD monitor. Does what I say please you?

A succession calamities struck my brain. The position offered a surprising amount of new possibilities in a field that had been by myself with lesser affection than a seasonal hobby or a grade school summer romance. The moment lingered and the room seemed to lose its place on axis. Facial pigmentation drained into the darker parts of my loins a score of butterflies dined on their bounty of mental confusion. The foul insects!! The foul shakers not movers marched in succession marking each moment by delivering a new pang of adrenaline to the synapses and skeletal frame. A diminutive reply vibrated its chorus through the humming layers of my vocal chords….

Interlude….

Bill Gates effortlessly brought a well brewed cup of Seatle fresh coffee to his expectantly pursed lips. The age of day found him in the good spirits often found by those who could purchase the very gates of heaven. “At least make a solid down payment “ he thought with a level of humor closely followed by contemptuous thoughts. Often when Bill met with his therapist they would discuss his feelings towards product and pride. It’s almost fatherly he thought as the summer sun began to peak its luminescent fingers through the available space between shutter and window sill. I can feel the presence of my creation as it works its ways owning the hearts and pocket books of international business and home users. Bill hand long come to grips with the fact that he had found a deeper love for his product than the own creations that him and his biologically conceiving partners had produced. My baby brings only good things. With that thought he took great volumes of air within his nostrils expunging the excess carbons from his respiratory system in one great heave.

A sudden shadow fell upon his countenance. The speed and severity of this freshly opened wound caused ligaments to release their tension vertebrae found no strength in their tightly stacked brethren. The force nearly toppled this soul wrapped in skin to the point that one gravity powered knee quickly found a new rest upon the oak lined flooring. The second knee came down with lesser force yet the impact had its grip upon the carapace with a shudder the body’s inertia focused its power through the knees and finally found its proper measure and rest.

As quickly as fate had brought the shadow upon him it also allowed the moment to pass. However the notion and cerebral inner workings spun inside Bill’s brain with a ferocity that few other than Henry Ford could envision. A presence he mumbled… One that I have not sensed for some time…. He will be working on my baby… The words repeated effortlessly paranoid mumbles gave way to spastic gasps. It was clear that somewhere in some remote portion of the world. An untrained and unqualified new tech had been given the reigns to a corporate infrastructure. Bill could recognize the pain as he had felt many times in his life. Bringing one knee up to his chest and putting a strong palm against upper thigh he lifted his weak yet gaining strength body into an upright position once more.

This is not the first, nor shall it be the last. He resigned himself to his fate. He had lost count of pains number. There was no reason to dwell any longer on the issue. He turned himself to the pantry door. Delicately appointed with brass fittings and Peruvian inlays and craftsmanship, it had been I fine addition to his secondary mansions third kitchen for the working help. He barely noticed a subtle creak in the oak and fittings as he swung the door fully open. He reached up just over his head to a hidden compartment just above and to the right of the top shelf. From the compartment he removed a roll of one hundred dollar bills the roll being roughly the size of a grown mans fist. He paused just before he brought the bills up to his nose. This is not the first, nor shall it be the last.

And with that be brought the bill roll to his nose and breathed deep the stench of the American dream.

Act 2

I sprung from the office of el director de oporationes’ like a gladiator from the jaws of wild beasts. The words had been spoken, the hands had been shook. Words spoken, now un-returnable. I firmly kept my sun bright smile under the veil of diplomacy as I walked among the fallen to my desk. Produce of the Earth greeted me in order for me to fulfill the age old saying. Let him who has new opportunities not neglect the opportunity to improve ones cholesterol levels. Verily Verily I say unto you, let no man whom has a hereditary condition involving poor heart maintenance let anything cast him asunder from lowering his hdl/ldl score.

For a moment the day seemed brighter. I begged the eternity of time to hasten its pace so that I might quickly join my loved ones in having a libation at the local school of foolishness.

Epilogue

As summer turns to the autumn of its years so do the measures of what makes a worker a viable candidate for information technology work. Some where in hollow places with war torn buildings and soot black faces stares a chimp. If only he could get his resume noticed. He would bring the world to its knees.

Written without pause from 2pm-3pm.

The Curse Continues

2006-06-12T14:25:00.000-05:00

So we cant find a band name that isn’t already taken. We both hold resolute that this will be the week when discussion comes to an end. I starting to feel we just take some horrible hardcore name like Deathrake Incenerator and play some hardcore shows to get booed off stage. I always enjoyed being on the receiving end of a good tomato throw. Especially when you feel that your telling a joke that no one gets.

I have a mystery meeting lined up at work that seems to be scheduled then unscheduled. Strange lot of upper management and myself. Im almost fully convinced that all this could mean is more work for myself. Without pay increase or title bump. Fricking titles, so useless yet so strangely important. However titles have had a necessary use ever since Saul was crowned king.

Some kind of work drags me a way, here is what I am listening too in the lately:

AFI – December Underground
Placebo – Meds
Pulp – We Love Life
System of a Down – Hypnotize/Mesmerize

Clock Watcher

2006-06-09T13:13:00.000-05:00

Today started well, getting things done and a normal clip. Suddenly the 10am rolls around and Im walking with cement shoes. It may be work volume. I only have 1 client where there is any work to be done. It may be sleep. I got a good 7 hours more than usual.

Either way it’s a lame duck Friday.

The summer “relative visitation” tour rolls into Peoria this weekend. Can’t complain about free meals. It’s also just good for the mind to experience a different form of relaxation stimuli than your well understood home.

Unprofessional Movie Review

I watched Underworld 2 last night. The first Underworld movie had a cool Matrix meets Vampire vs. Werewolf boxing match. There was a great desperate vibe coupled with good fight scenes, adequate special effects and copious amounts of latex and leather wearing male and female supermodels. Essentially it was very close to being everything I enjoy about sci-fi/horror films. Did I mention vampires fighting werewolves I mean c’mon!!!

So now we have the continuation of the story. While it has its entertaining points this effort has a blindingly bad weakness that makes the movie almost useless in my eyes. I don’t want to give spoilers as if you are a fan of the first movie it is a worth while venture to check out this film. So be warned.

In this film the werewolves are as wimpy as a nerd in a locker room. You’ll get to meet the first vampire and the first werewolf in this film The first vampire? Well he takes the films protagonists to task, whupping butt on a regular basis. Just wait for the impalement scene it’s pretty brutal.

The flipside of this uber vampire is his wolf brother. However, after all this hype we get the uber vampire and the uber wolf fighting our heros. And the uber wolf goes down in minutes? What the heck?

The wolves are treated mainly as props here to provide a quick jump loud nice growl scare and then be killed in some form of macabre fashion.

The cool thing about the first film was that the wolves were viable threats and could give the pain as good as they got. Here they are just a scare and a snapped neck.

In the end we have an unexplained power vampire and a wolf/vamp crossbreed who are now left to carry out their future. My guess would be that they have orc babies and try to conquer middle earth.

Overall it’s a silly movie, but so was the first. If you’re a fan buy. If you have no clue rent or borrow.

Have a good weekend.

The site goes down yesterday so I pass the savings on to you today

2006-06-08T11:32:00.000-05:00

The pain of Unpreparedness

20 minutes until a client call. Client is a minimal fish. Quarterly funding, Quarterly reviews. Totalling about 5-10 hours a week of work tops. Unfortunately I’m about quarterly informed on the inner workings and history of the program. You try to dig through history you look at statistical data but it doesn’t give the full picture.

The resolution? Well I’m just going to make it up as I go and hope that the others around the table will pick up my slack.

A better resolution? And the method I used. I simply gave the client a call the day before and had a nice lengthy chat. Suddenly I’m in the pre-meeting and I’m calling out needs and expected desires. We hit the meeting and suddenly I look completely punched in. Clearly I understand the views of my client and have the foresight to anticipate and act on needs. Bosses are satisfied. The client is happy. I have blog fodder.

The lesson learned: Good contact with your client can do more for you than simply lengthening your to do list.

Summer and the damage done

This warm weather is a poison to the heart of those who strive to be hardworking. I find myself almost too often looking out the windows to the gently bowing trees. Thoughts of golf and baseball must be quickly stricken from the mental record.

Speaking of Baseball the Sox put a whuppin on our “rivals” the Tigers. Panic has indeed crept its pointy head into the faithfuls backside. Suddenly people are forgetting the immense scope of a full season and the fact that the Sox have a better team and track record to show that they can weather a storm. Detroit has been playing with the big boys lately and have found themselves to date not worthy. The media is panic prone. Look at us comparatively against last year and you’ll see that were doing fine.

Sexy Side Action

All is quiet on the music front. Frustration abounds on my end as I am fairly motivated to get the movings on. Yesterdays thoughts of closure were dashed when it was found that we were not alone in our thoughts. Stupid hardcore band. Way to take our emo name. Yet we strive on.

The Guy Code

For probably 90% of the straight male American population there exists an unspoken selection of rules that may make sense. Simple truths such as your buddies girl is off limits, your buddies Mom is off limits most of which tends to roll around the terms of not taking what another man has specifically in the female relationship department.

There are other subsets that exist such as if one man buys another a drink it’s impolite to not return the favor within 30 days. One very interesting subset of rules places itself in the realm of honor. I would call it the “bite the bullet” clause. In this once you are busted by any form of authority you do not drag other people’s names into the mess. You bite your tongue hold tough and face the consequences.

You and your buddies went fishing, road trip, binging, strippers, when you told your wives that you were going to help at a habitat for humanity shelter? Well if you get pinched by a wife’s keen sense smell identifying salmon and hooker sweat and her perceptive eyes that noticed your fishing gear was absent from the home, you stand alone.

You used your friend’s good and gracious deed to be exploited for your own selfish gains. You could only wish that you were the type of standup man that your friends are and vow to join them on there next act of heroism. Was anyone else there? No! Actions completely done on a whim, it was viewed and acted upon by a singular selfish repentant fool who just realized that his wife deserves a new car.

Most recently in baseball an active player broke the code when FBI agents raided his house and found copious amounts of performance enhancing products. To break off some of his well earned legal heat this active major league baseball player started bringing the goods. Giving lists and names and contacts. Names of active players and active franchise employees. He ratted out his friends.

The reaction from many baseball players mirrored my initial thoughts. The thought line goes and rightfully so that he threw his buddies under a buss. The question of the day is whether or not throwing your buddies under the bus is incorrect.

Bite the bullet the phrase was started in World War 1 when field doctors would often use shell casing as a mudguard for patients when they had to perform on the spot surgery such as amputation. It later became linked to a stoic nature that must be upheld when captured by enemies. In these war time situations the choice of remaining firm and not giving up your buddies was a life and death choice that could have unknown implications.

However holding to this honorable code has stuck its face into very dishonorable practices. In the era of heavy mob and cartels once captured cronies would deny the very existence of any sort of organized function. Even refuting the knowledge of family names. To give information in the criminal world is seen as a signature on a death contract. Is this the type of behavior we want to see emulated by our sports heros?

The issue here is that what is taking place is a crime. Steroid use is illegal. Should the ball player be looked at as a coward for giving up names or should he be praised for helping to make a national past time a clean game for once?

Clearly this man is no hero. He did not volunteer this information. It was only given once his back was pinned to a wall. Do you judge the man by his heart or by his actions? His actions will bring good but his heart was not in a proper place.

The answers don’t come easily. I think in a big picture perspective he has done a good thing. There was no honor to maintain when he was involved in dishonorable practices.

Would we honor a molester for not ratting out other molesters? Would we think his actions good because he honored the guy code and did not rat out his friends? Obviously an extreme example but what is crime is crime.

To judge this mans actions as a poor choice only gives credence to the idea that we are willing to allow any actions to take place unless it directly affects us. No matter how wrong it may be we don’t care as long as it doesn’t disrupt our affairs. When it does we call them a traitor.

We should look at the parts in our lives that we need to throw under the bus.

Boom Shake Shake Shake the room!

For once we actually have some good news regarding the war on Islamic terrorism. As a major Taliban leader was killed in Iraq. I strolled over to a few politically themed website in expectation of seeing virtual champagne flowing freely. Instead I find pessimism. A quick point counter point from my perspective.

Optimist: Cheers!! This is great news for the world and great news for morale of the troops who are involved in this war.

Pessimist: Great, just great. Now we have a martyr. Get ready for the next great round of attacks. How would we respond if our President was assassinated? We would be out for blood! These people are no different.

Optimist: This man was out for our blood. He was a leader and a strategist and their operations will be slowed by his passing. This will be a golden opportunity to drive out militants and capture some key areas.

Pessimist: Slay the dragon and another arises. This will only heat militant outrage.

Moderation: The difficulty with our actions is that the war is being waged on an ambiguous and undefeatable enemy. A war on “terror” is useless as a term. However, this is not a peaceful man. He was a man who coordinated attacks upon multiple types of hostile and civilian targets and the world is a better and safer place with his passing.

More Good News

The fight against my arch-enemy cholesterol has produced the grand affect of 17 pounds of weight loss.

Another 9 – 19 pounds: I am back in band “rock & roll shape”

Another 20-30 punds: I am back in drug addict shape.

It’s good to have goals.

Spammer Poetry

Excellence Shampoo by Lionel Lynn (ujckgrmlit@szdfl.com)

intellectually, skinhead are capsize, bodybuilding of with unanimity saxophone with
stigmatize roundabout rugby, was as listen,
own.... brochure victimize a of surplus
unity, with hors d'oeuvre trader as inadvisable, but as
messy as soluble linen and obey facetious the relevant a
blue chip pedal small-scale in of party favor and functionally, emphatically filly satire, threat dutiful nap, in

Happy Thursday.

J the bell tolls for thee

2006-06-06T16:11:00.000-05:00

I would be foolish not to mention that I now have only 1 non engaged friend left over from my circle of college chums. Happy times, lots of surprises. I suppose when your close to someone you maintain a bit of a snapshot of a persons ideal mate. It’s strange and wonderful how often your views and what actually happens are contradictory.

Never the less it’s a happy time and I am glad to be in it. Only one more link to close on the fully staffed ball and chain club. Fare thee well Bond squad.

Wackier Topics

To my downfall I broke my hot streak and listened to morning radio during the commute. Apparently today is a day of calamity and fire. Which it very well may be. There is also the side that states that we are not on the correct calendar and that actually this “special” date happened several years ago. None the less were all doomed I say Dooomed!!!

Sorry for the cop out on this entry it started swimmingly but had to peter off. Work is tugging at my collar.

Delicious Road Bumps

2006-06-05T14:49:00.000-05:00

The diet was three weeks strong until I visited the mighty MI and low and behold there was no food within that location that did not involve red meat or mayo of some sort. Almost to a fault I defer to the when in Rome theory of eating in foreign land. Doubly so when you’re with relatives. Who wants to be the prick that looks around and asks where the salmon is at while at the family BBQ? Not this guy.

It’s bad enough that I have to now take the role of anal customer every time I go into a restraint. Believe from years in the service industry we don’t like the guy who asks how every item on the menu is prepared before settling on a side salad with no dressing and a glass of water.

Even now I can reflect back on the glory days of finding a steak ,ordering it medium and having a beer. Simple enough. Are these days gone? Will moderation move in? We shall see once this 3 month trial has passed into history.

Sexy Side Action

Don’t look now but we may have some sweet conclusion to the name a band phase of our projects as I type we are “hours” away. That’s at least what I have been told. Mull baby mull!!! Such is how we do in the obsessive compulsive world. Clearly I am on an up day while Rooskie continues to be the ying to my yang.

The best part of getting this torture over is that we can now move into actually marketing and promoting. Which can be occasionally more fun than sitting on sharp sticks but definitely rates higher than drum tracking.

Final Thoughts

1. After going a weekend without watching any tv I find that I really didn’t miss it.
2. Are people without tv’s more productive?
3. They probably just waste their time on other equally dumb pursuits.
4. Validating yourself by downplaying the accomplishments of others is cowardice.
5. I hate the Miami Heat.
6. Miami heat win the championship series 4-1
7. Mark Cuban is still cool.
8. A good band name is hard to find.
9. A good woman is hard to find.
10. When you find a good band name things will improve if you hoar it out.
11. When you find a good woman hide her in your basement.

Life is Joy

2006-06-02T11:21:00.000-05:00

Happy Friday all!! Todays entry is a bit under the gun as I am trying to have every loose end cleared by end of day. The idea of starting out Monday without a major issue to handle is quite appealing. Is this possibility possible? Hell no!!! But im going to give it my best.

This weekend we head to the wild world of Michigan for graduations. Should be a joy and I am counting on at least one family dispute that will lead to someone leaving early 5:1 odds place your bets. 2:1 odds that it will involve myself. For this and many other more pleasant reasons I am quite excited to see the in-laws.

I had a business opportunity/idea come my way and I'll bounce it off you next week. Till then have a great weekend. I had begun to feel that Spammer Poetry had gone stale but yet again I am humbled by a brilliant new writer. To close here is his latest submission.

Spammer Poetry

You future, Outward Bounder by Lon Arthur (adt@0926.com)

one-ideaed off-thrown naphthol yellow organ-blowing myriad-minded
open-jointed paint cleaner peach-colored mis-season moonlight school
Peach melba off-hit parcel-plate mid-ocean

mid-oestral Millstone grit overlap fault moot court nettling cell pearl-bordered mid-carpal
mid-side no-surrender moss-brown
nail set oat cleaner nail-tailed money-making Non-european needle diatom mice pink on-dit night-decking milk-yielding no-par-value mid-town page proof
moon-made one-act mignonette green old boy moral faculty
palm branch peace-enamored mortar boat offset-litho

nihil debet next friend moss-backed milk-hued pantograph trolley next best night-straying
Moor dance orthoclase-gabbro nettling cell
miter-jointed mouse bloodwort open-lined ore-bearing pallet tail monkey-tail valve peach red paper-paneled

Why we hate celebs

2006-06-01T12:20:00.000-05:00

It appears that every major channel in the cable news circuit offers at minimum a half hour of programming dedicated to the comings and goings of celebrity life. Shopping check out lanes are littered with magazines detailing candid photos of a select group of peoples lives. It’s a billion dollar business.

We always want to know more about the rich. Were interested by the actions of those with more means than ourselves. All the while were waiting for it. That one shot. The ugly face. The sex tape. The confirmation that this talentless pretty boy(girl) is no better than us. Just a pretty face who stumbled his way up to the top.

The tabloid culture is based around our desire to see others fall. Headlines will occasionally announce a baby or a wedding. More often is the case that they will splash in 50 point font an eye catching blurb about the twisted drug use or strained love affairs of these people. These blurbs sell magazine.

I have been looking deeper and deeper into my own thoughts and actions as a basis for understanding others around me. I have come to the hypothesis that in our deepest places we despise the success of others. It easier when they are a detached figure living in warm climates. Yet we still do it to our friends and neighbors. This hate of others success is made manifest in many forms. We copy, we sarcastically deflate their success or we put on an air of indifference. All the while we allow ourselves to question ourselves, question the fairness of life and despise the “luck”.

Defining a moment as luck is our feeble brain trying to accommodate the randomness of this world and make us feel better about downplaying the accomplishments of others. As an action plan I encourage you the next time you feel like chiding your associate or friend by saying “lucky shot or lucky break etc.” Change your verbiage to “well done”.

Changing your mindset to approval and gratitude for the good things that have happened to others will help you better appreciate and understand what you have. Use the success of others as a learning tool and remember the possessions are worthless, but a properly thinking mind and warm attitude towards others yields true meaningful dividends.

Simpsons Wisdom on todays opening Topic

Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done.
Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning.

Final Thoughts

Why do we as Christians treat the book of Revelations as a hobby?
If we were aware that the end times was next week how would we act?
What would be preached in the church if this set date information was widely known?
Why isn’t this sense of urgency always present?
What if it is next week?
Is Clearview a good name for a band?

Heavy topics for a heavy time in my life. Hope all is well. Happy Thursday.

Rumor has it that I give a damn

2006-05-30T14:19:00.000-05:00

Happy Tuesday!! Look out now but there may be sufficient evidence that I in fact do care about my health. As of today I have made it through my first official holiday without cheating on my diet. Furthermore I got up and ran today. Should you be on a diet such as mine and believe that you have experienced hunger, I advise you to try to start your day with a good sweat. Then watch what your stomach does when you give it less than 400 calories over a six hour period. I felt like someone was stabbing me in the gut repeatedly. However I feel the effort is well worth it.

I wish I had time to chat but an extended weekend means extensive work load this Tuesday. In the pleasant mean time here is a link that is worth your time.

3 armed baby (with picture)

End of the tunnel

2006-05-26T14:29:00.000-05:00

Rock and Roll went well and I think we have a product that I could not be more proud of. All it took was 26 hours of studio time to record this precious track. So if you ever wonder why it takes your favourite bands so long to get out of a studio with a record there you are. We probably could have taken twice as long but again life keeps you under the gun. Ill try to get the song up in some form or in some way.

Be careful this holiday weekend. Memorial day and New Years day are what us professional drinkers call "Ametuer Hour" People will be drinking in force, and the cop presence will double at all your favourite routes. Elgin in particular is fond of the road block check. Do yourself a favor and lay off the booze.

Time draws precious as an office party looms within the hour. Will tonight finally bring the precious sleep that I have read about in old tales and dusty manuscripts? Probably not.

Links to make you

Top Colleges to find Wow Players
How to build a startup company
Frogger
Booze is good for men

Spammer Poetry

Hi strong sided by Ervin Hamlen (hannifournier@extrep.com)

hoof-shaped star check cone number
ice pillar dock superintendent test match yellow-tinging Louis heel washing machine tea oil tree self-conceived writing board frog-eyed double-shot pallet eye buck law spelling bee chicken heart sauce-alone ship-shaped mild-cured rock-enthroned Argyll-robertson sign jungle ox

Final thoughts

1. New band name: The Lights
1.a New Band name Album title: Turn me on

2. Never doubt what can be done if your willing to put the reps in.

3. Find out the history of Memorial Day

Have a good weekend.

The world turns slowly

2006-05-25T15:05:00.000-05:00

Often we drift into the back of our minds and let run selective scenarios hat we would like to come see to fruition within our own lives. The latest trend in personal development books is focusing on these dreams. They ask you to see yourself as how you want to be. Studying fine details, noting every method undertook by our envisioned avatar. I myself have been a strong believer in the well sung Rocky Horror Picture Show mantra of “don’t dream it, be it”.

As long as I am throwing out antiquated pop culture references we may as well go to the old wheel house of American culture and quote Linus from the Peanuts daily cartoons. His reply would state “has it ever occurred to you, that you may be wrong”

The beauty and peril of dreams is that they are nothing more than fiction. When I create a mental image of myself I am more than happy to ignore the fine details of my present flaws. These flaws seem to have magically blown away. The present yet thankfully rescinding stomach bulge as well as my once razor sharp hairline which now sees its shores eroding as the high tide of my forehead ravages the coastline. These physical flaws are wiped clean. Replaced by the typical trappings found in clothing catalogues.

The flaw in today’s personal development gurus is that it is based upon the belief that you actually know what’s best for you. Unfortunately who you are and what you think should be are going to be decided by a terrible melting pot of culture and parental or lack of parental involvement.

The American dream is in its mind safety and peace. In its dark heart however we dream of being top dog. The one, who makes the wheels turn, is never second guessed and remarkably never wrong. While we yearn for security and to not live by fear of economics or health, our strongest desires ask for control.

What the development books will never tell you is that life is not an ordered process. You can make plans to be that person of your dreams but you will never fully be them. Static plans within a chaotic system will fail. The desire to control what cannot be controlled is fruitless. However the reason to be encouraged is that we are not static. We are static when we are dead. Instead, we have a beautiful chaotic world to live and breathe in.

Personal development has its place. Measuring progress is a good reminder. I am glad that the numbers on my scale moved slightly to the right believe you me. In my envisionment of myself I am lean and muscled. Someday I might actually be that image. However today I am not. Now what?

Now all we are to do is treat all others in kindness. Forgive ourselves, forgive others and give every worthwhile task put in front of us our best effort.

The hardest part for me and I believe my generation is the blasted notion that we shall be rewarded. I’m now two weeks into my doctor ordered ban on all culinary delights. The first week we had a success, poundage was moving away. However into week two the results have begun to slow. How is that in any way fair? I put in the work, I want results the same as last week. I have not strayed, I have sacrificed.

The best part of our world is that you can have no faith in it. The same applies to your body, your career and your hobbies. Turning away from our reward turning away from our ideal self and enjoying the surrounding environment becomes a harder and harder task the older I get. You notice others, you covet their education, and you covet their possessions. We desire these things and we want them now, however the world continues to turn at the same pace. We continue to focus on ourselves and our ideals all the while being slaves to the clocks unflinching hand and a world filled with events beyond our control. Yet we only become more determined to focus inward and beat the system. To rise above and control our fate and the fate of others.

Where are the books that devote themselves to you better improving others? Where are the books that say perhaps helping and being considerate of others will in fact grow you personally and help with appreciating who you are. I can think of one but I will leave that to subtlety.

My closer and more sarcastic readers may be wondering if I recently had my feelings stepped on thus the reason for these "wheres the love posts". I can tell you that this is not the case. The last couple of posts are a reflection of my personal disgust with myself. Cheers!!

While it may be a bit disjointed and uneven, consider this an epilogue to Tuesdays entry.

Weary

2006-05-24T11:25:00.000-05:00

I only have nine minutes before my meeting so I figured I would give typing under the gun another try.

The Cholesterol free life i have been leading has had some curious side effects. First the good: I have dropped around 10 pounds. The bad: my stomach is constantly tied in knots, I am hungry almost all day and I cant drink booze anymore. Seriously last night I had a few of the rum's and diet cokes with a meal and I was drunker then a frat boy freshman at homecoming. I probably havent been that drunk in well over a year. I guess with no grease and meat my body just gives itself fully to the room spinning indulgences of alchohol.

I have not heard back from Ruse but I am assuming that tonight is the night for the final tracking on "For the Kill" should be good times. I'm also going to try to disuade him from the uber pretentious band name of Analogue Vanity. Seriously theres indy rock band names and then theres Holyier than thou indy rock names that consist of a guy playing the trombone with accompaniment by a tamborine and cowbell. I dont want to be one of those bands and the Analogue name sounds like a trombone playing band.

If anyone has a good band name leave me a note in comments.

And with that my time is up.

A New Playbook

2006-05-23T11:53:00.000-05:00

Time passes on; greater and lesser revelations are made visible. The truth screams into my deaf ears to rise up and seize the day. However opportunities seizure has become written by an apparently different judicial system. When an animal looks for food in his typical hunting grounds and finds nothing, he then looks and finds a new source or he will die. Such is the reality the greatly tugs upon the scruff of my neck. There is need for new strategies, I have achieved a level that ten years ago I could not have considered. Now atop this plateau I only find that the true mountain lies ahead and that the current systems that are in place will not get me far up this mountain.

So we see a need for a new playbook. Today, I plan to ditch the motions and routes known and gathered by my scholastic years. Unfortunately these designs are proving to be wanting in its ability to deliver in the “real” world. I need real plans that involve not waiting for el momento perfecto, but designed around working and creating these opportunities.

For these times I have begun undertaking a simple and Biblical method:

1. Thank the Creator for times past.
2. Ask for Wisdom for the current and future.
3. Do all things as if for the Lord
4. Love all and forgive the past

Despite it’s simplicity there is work to do and a life to live quite differently than the selfishness I have shown in the past.

Rock & Roll and a hard place

So we set up this premise. We have a song that a label wants to have on a compilation cd. Lets bring in a number of drummers and get as many ideas for the track as we can possibly record. For this scientific study we used:

Drummer A: A fan plain and simple. Young energetic, reminds me of me a few years ago. Rough talent, no prior work experience, good image.

Drummer B: Big talent, opinionated, lengthy successful resume, adequate image, standard setter, moody.

Both musicians converge upon our bat cave and the good times roll. Out of deference, respect, age, obligations we allow Mr. B to take the first swing of the sticks and it is money time. Quickly we have 3 useable tracks and a large portion of time available. Thrilled at our progress we begin demoing other tracks and allowing Mr. B to take a literal and figurative crack at them. When it rains it pours and there is sonic bliss all over my new rug. 3 songs now have workable drum tracks.

So the hour draws late and we do not want Mr. A to feel chided. So we call Mr. B’s day a wrap and politely escort him to his car so Mr. A can warm up. It is in this parking lot that I fall trap to the biggest mistake we made of the night, we start talking of the future.

After a 30 minute conversation I can finally moderate my co-conspirator and Mr. B into a parting of ways. I walk back with the ruse and give him my sternest what the hell look. The reasons for this realm around the cliff notes of the parking lot conversation. Here they are in all there glorious glory:

A. What are you doing?
B. What is our goal?
C. Who is Mr. A?
D. Should we start plotting strategies?
E. Is this worth the time?
F. Random anecdote
G. Talk of big money
H. More dreaming
I. Random anecdote
J. I sigh in frustration
K. Lip service paid all around
L. Decision to meet in a fortnight
M. Concession to let Mr. A have his whirl

So we let Mr. A have his go, and the results where better than expected thus causing an even better dilemma for me and my partner as now I am gung ho on the side of Mr. A. While my hesitant band chum wants to go with the safe bet.

The lesson learned was that we should’ve never of had the conversation as it only allowed Mr. B to inject his desires which caused a conflict on our immediate project.

Lesson two is that 10 plus hours of drum tracking is not the best way to spend a night.

So a pair of overnighters appear to be in order for us to complete this project.

And with that we close todays entry. I could go on but I think I long overstayed my welcome.

Anticipation builds

2006-05-19T11:50:00.000-05:00

Drum tracking has been postponed until the weekend which means a brutal 2 day marathon is in order to complete work for the compilation album. Now also it appears that there will be a show involved. My oh my how life can quicken.

Suffice to say a good weekend will be the catalyst of this episode of my life.

That being said I have things to do. Happy Friday!

Heres some links for the (quality?) bands that we will be playing with. FYI I just heard about them and their may be material on their sites that is not condoned by the work place. Surf carefully.

Silver Atlas
Cold Water Mystic
The Klye Mann Combo
Raised on Zenith

Drunken Tone Deaf Clowns

2006-05-18T11:52:00.000-05:00

Well today marks the first day in about a month where I feel that I actually have a handle on my clients. Sure there are some rough patches, but people are paying and the level of terror has dropped a significant bit. A lot of these concerns where alleviated by discussions with my superiors and thus we bluntly stumble into today’s life lesson.

I know I want to be that guy who knows everything, but I’m not and never will be. I want to do everything on my own, but sometimes a 10 minute conversation with someone who’s been there before will spare you hours of time. Point being reach out and look for the counsel of wise people in matters that bring you difficulty. Swallow that pride.

New tune “Snow Bank” was cranked out I’m picking up the polished mix from Aaron today for lunch. Not sure on the product it’s definitely a love or hate affair. And one of the issues when you spend 7 hours working on a project is you absolutely begin to lose objectivity. It’s more often the case that we work all night only to come back the next day and wonder who let the drunken tone deaf clowns produce and engineer the album while we slept. The answers always us and typically the reason is that we never have the common sense to actually step outside of the project even for a few moments.

Unfortunately, Aaron seems to suffer for the compulsive characteristics that I do. While I would never say an unkind word against a friend, I know for myself that I am either your main man. I’m one hundred percent into what were doing and I’m giving it my all, or I’m just a whiny petulant bitch that won’t pay attention and forgets key details. I’ve worked quite hard to even this out but it’s a struggle.

Hey if we were all even then the world would have no excitement.

Happy Thursday!

88 Days to go

2006-05-17T11:21:00.000-05:00

I was indeed the typical American youth. Beer and BBQ were my only real culinary desires. Now some crazy doctor has told me that this menu has served my up a healthy dose of possible heart failure.

So I am taking his advice and have begun a stringent diet involving the eating of more leaves than I can count. So here we are day 3, two terrible days behind us. Let me tell you that if your body is not used to the substance known as fiber, once you begin eating vast quantities of this substance your body will give you a nice cramping painful surprise. I don’t want to bore and disgust you with the details but for two days my body has let me know that they want their cheeseburgers and roast beef sandwiches back.

88 days and I can try to live in moderation. It’s funny but when your hungry and your options are limited even things you never liked in the past suddenly are quite tasty. Hello cucumber my new friend, please don’t pay attention to lady red meats over there. Though she and I had quite a fling I don’t plan on seeing her any time soon.

Politics

Well I think we actually got a good idea going here in regards to immigration. Having only time these days to skim headlines it appears that our President is sending troops from the National Guard down to the border in order protect from the estimated thousands that cross on a daily basis.

Sounds like a start to me, next we just need that huge electrified fence that everyone jokes about but is really serious about in their unspoken thoughts. Could you imagine the collective heart attack that environmental naturalists would have should we actually put a fence up? Oh man the natural territories we would disrupt and the water and mating routes that would be eliminated. Clearly that plan is not a plan as those desperate enough would only begin to tunnel like other more creative drug smugglers have done.

The thought of a poor starved person popping out of the ground gives me a sadistic chuckle. I think that would be a good measuring stick. If someone is willing to dig their own damn tunnel into America, that’s the kind of worker we need in the country. Any body can walk, let’s see you engineer and travel a man made 20 mile horizontal mine shaft. You become an immediate citizen if once you pop up you immediately destroy your creation.

Sexy Side Action

Today we go for final touch ups on “For the Kill”. Thursday we finish drums and this weekend we will send product off to Windy City Records. With any luck this will be the first notch in the VanRuse belt. Put a sock on the doorknob because were under the gun and we will need to make magic all night.

LDL

2006-05-15T12:19:00.000-05:00

So Conan was a blast, weekend BBQ went well, Mothers day was charming to say the least.

The only downside to this stupendous of weekends would be the little visit I paid to the doctor. I have been informed that I have extremely high cholesterol levels. Direct quote from the Doc “How old are you? You know what, if it tastes good don’t eat it! You need to eat nothing but rabbit food for the next three months. If you don’t get this down we will be forced to put you on medication.”

Raised Italian my diet tends to consist of primarily red meats and pasta. It’s what I like, its about all I will regularly eat. Typical or safe LDL (bad cholesterol) when measured scores about 80 on some scale unbeknownst to myself. What I do know is that I scored a 155. Ouch, double the recommended limit.

So dietary times they are a changing. Adios fast food lunches. Today I had imported from casa Van Yzendoorn a very sensible salad and a cut up chicken breast. Add some baby carrots and cherry tomatoes and yum yum.

It’s fun when you don’t have a choice but the idea that I will have to go through this summer season of BBQ’s and beer blasts eating salad and removing beer equals a rough three months ahead.

Even worse after this I will have to use moderation. UGH!! Come back to me my 17 year metabolism. You could do no wrong.

And now for kicks a little spammer poetry.

Today on Tiscali by Letha Caudill (ygyutftatvev@urbanicasas.com)

shipshape spiegel gal dadaist countenance
thorium soapstone steuben consign
oklahoma coupe dissertation hearse
bewail yogi acculturate coverage
compute buchanan foam barricade ethos
hemorrhage tenuous chlorinate permit
devout balance arequipa
byte attribute
monsoon mythic menu
libertarian hummingbird cassock lance
ziegler sew else dismal woods upkeep
scholar pugh liquefaction d
reamboat eastern segovia
inc cinerama heine saltbush

7 Minute Blog Entry

2006-05-11T15:10:00.000-05:00

I have given myself a cap on how long I have to create this post. Gone are the days where I could let me thoughts simmer and stew. Forget proper grammar and corrected spelling. Work load is now requiring me to go completely linear.

It is actually nice to be uber busy now. My current client has a penchant for auditing every line of data that comes through the pipeline. This in turn creates a lot of mindless busy work and phone calls for me. I hit up our purchasing department for an email blaster. I figured we could save money for the client on billable hours by simply having a mechanism to dump email address into and a canned format and have it blasted to all participants and places unkown.

It also would give me prime opportunity to start that spam money making scheme I always knew I had in me.

So work is at a great clip. Unfortunately the blog suffers because you know I'm not going to do this during my free time. When my hours are billable only to myself I am suddenly much more concerned about not being a time sink.

2 minutes left and all I can say if you havent stopped by Joystiq.com and checked out the videos and shots of the Nintendo Wii you should. It truly looks like it will be the party machine that brings games into the main stream. For example look at the tennis game which allows you to control the swing speed and shot of the ball by the the movements of your arm in relation to the controller.

Sounds like the next great pastime for me when im drunk. Which might be the only time I will ever say "game of tennis anyone?"

Connan tommorow catch ya in the weekend.

Bombarded

2006-05-09T11:41:00.000-05:00

Man oh man! Work is just letting me have it. Believe me I am beginning to reminisce fondly of days of yore when I could sit back at work and simply bring quality informative content out. It’s all billable hours so it’s all good.

Puppy was purchased and continues to be a thorn in my sleep schedule. I’ve also come to the realization that putting hopes into my self being physically capable of completing all of my work tasks and still having enough energy to be energized to the point of regularly working out are false.

Therefore the new plan is to attempt to rise one hour earlier than typical and to get in a workout there. I remember a few months ago when I was regularly working out that I had a considerable increase in energy throughout the day. The goal is to get the workouts going 3-4 days a week. The challenge is actually getting up and loosing that hour of sleep. I keep telling myself that I am young and don’t need sleep, but my body seems to think that I’m a fool.

Sorry for the suck known as this post. I try to keep it more commentary than diary, but work has me so focused that really there is little of the outside world that I am able to look at lately.

Work home and sleep. Rinse repeat in 50 years you retire. Huzzah!!

Mayo de Tequila

2006-05-05T16:26:00.000-05:00

I always enjoy foreign holidays such as Christmas and the Gay and Lesbian parade. But few stand alone for pure excuses for binge drinking like Cinco de Mayo and St. Patricks day.

For the few who still dont know, this day is celebrated based upon the fabulous ass whupping put on the French army by the Mexican army. Dates... I dont know or care lets just say this happened in 1870 just cause.

Any way, have you ever wondered if the French have any pride in their Millitary? I know it seems they are potrayed world wide in cartoons and film as aloof and limp wristed warriors and people. Do French people just accept that they are considered pansys? At least they are through the rose colored glasses known as American upbringing. I will consider this topic while I celebrate their defeat while sipping margaritas tonight.

Busy Busy Day

2006-05-04T16:10:00.000-05:00

Good news to lead us off, as a talent scout from Windy City records caught wind of a track and has offered us a spot on a compilation with a distribution of 5k. Aaron and I discussed logistics today at lunch.

The new dog continues to be a clump of fur doing puppy things. There is nothing better than sitting outside on a cool night hoping the dog will go the bathroom. Eventually if nothing happens you give up. So I bring this dog back in, toss him up on our bed while I change into sleep wear, turn around and guess who now has to wash his sheets.

Busy busy day.

Immigration is the highest form of flattery….

2006-05-02T15:00:00.000-05:00

Often I run scenarios through my mind entertaining thoughts of a career in politics. Seeing as all politicians at one point were young and idealistic, I wonder if all elected officials start out as well meaning do-wellians who eventually succumb to the power of party control and the all mighty dollar.

I’m sure some are legacies whom have had a right leg firmly entrenched in leadership. The same occurs in the densely Italian neighborhood such as the one I am from. Cousin Tony is the alderman and his kid runs the waste management portions of the county. That’s how it is; his kid will one day be elected. Probably a friend of Cousin Tony will hold the office until the kid is of age and experience and just like that the cycle continues.

Legacies aside, their must be a minority that still comes from nothing and can break into the political system. Enough of the day dreaming and onto reality….

Immigration, if you have turned on the news through TV or car you have probably seen/heard that yesterday was the much hyped Illegal Rally in a number of major U.S. cities. This rally has lofty goals such as “shutting down the nation” because illegal immigrants are what makes this country work.

I love these types of rallies. It’s always portrayed as such a love fest. Look at these people!!! All they want is to work in the greatest country in the world!!!! These people love this country!!!! And to show their love they have decided to unanimously attempt to sabotage the economic stability of the country they so desperately need to be in!!

Buckle down; stop complaining that immigration laws are too hard. Of course they are hard we don’t need a swarm of uneducated people we are raising a fine crop of our own. You pride yourself on your hard work? Why don’t you work hard to become a legal citizen of this country?

The protest is a beautiful thing!!! However the message is still just as effective on a Saturday. The premise around this entire procession is so counterintuitive that it borders on sitcom standards. Could you imagine if we formed a rally supporting legal immigrants that was based on everyone calling off work in an effort to show our value to the economy? We would be called irresponsible we would be shamed by the media and politicians would have been falling off their luxury recliners to spout off in front of a news camera on how we were letting the country down.

I guess everyone loves an underdog. I myself fully support the rally purely based on the fact that it seemed to shorten my commute. Secondly, I support because it gives our government a prime opportunity to photograph and catalogue every illegal in an urban area.

Now wouldn’t it be funny if another rally is virally started by our own government in an attempt to round up illegals? Now that’s the type of government I could support.

And as a p.s. since this column is way to serious for fun links or videos….

For the love of God stop blaming the Companies for high gas prices. Gas prices are decided by the selling of oil futures which are priced based on anticipation of supply and demand. Any further intrigue would involve gouging and a governmental and distribution level.

Do we go after the farmers when milk goes up a few cents? Do we call for investigations when a corn farmer shows a profit?

And a second and final p.s…..

New taxes on companies do NOT lower your prices. Companies do this great thing called passing on the expense to the consumer. Government taxation only brings prices up.

Take it to a personal level, if the government suddenly took 80% of your paycheck away you would have to find more means of acquiring income or you would request that your main source of income ups their donation.

Economics bitches!! The math never lies however every news outlet will probably take up arms to prove it does. This just in….. Math is hopped up on drugs and holding a baby hostage while driving a gas guzzling SUV!! More details at 11.

New Additions

2006-05-01T12:25:00.000-05:00

Life updates, Spammer Poetry, Someone wants to kill me's assasinator revealed!!!!, Links to make you, and more videos than you would want....

What a weekend. Started off slowly we were scheduled to attend the Art Chicago Festival, but our ride lost their cellphone and my Friday was left to finding that sweet sweet freind Miller Lite with a side of WoW. Nothing better than visiting two old friends who are always there when ya need them.

Saturday marks a day that will change my life as we brought a little Yorkshire Terrier into our home. If I had some I would post pics but for now just invision Toto from the Wizard of Oz and youll have the correct image. We named the tiny little bugger Corgan in rememberance of my fallen from grace hero. I think it is cruel irony to name your dog after a persona that had a comparitavely even hand in my development next to my parents.

Of course the little champ is unable to sleep through the night, and its not barking, its making noises simmillar to the insesant squeezing of the chew toy we bought him. The little punk gets mad too, definetly fits into the Van legacy as the second he is caged he suddenly become a bezerker. Letting him out at 6am on a Sunday to go outside is doing nothing to endear myself to him but this little science expirement is providing a solid foundation for the continued use of birth control.

Good News!!

Bulls continue to whup the over aged flamers known as the Miami Heat. This "championship" callibre team is resorting to cheap shots and ref complaints in order to stomach the losses pegged too them by an upstart group of youngsters. Do I think the Bulls will win the series..NO!! I'm not yet fully on the bus, but I have stepped foot onto the bus and I'm reaching into my pockets to see if I have some change.

Speaking of being firmly seated on a bus, in fact, sitting front row since they day I was born. The Sox continue to burninate all who dare take up arms against them. 17-7 record after and 1-4 start? I think a second trophy is in our future, and best of all the Cubs can look forward to a .500 season at best. Life is good and during times like these always remember to call those who mocked you for supporting your team during the down years. Those are the truly precious moments of supporting a winning team.

Spammer Poetry

A crap ton of submission this week and I had the pleasant task of sifting through them. I present to you the top two weekends best:

Successful Transmission by Debra Maynard (zqmalbnhtgb@ugfoa.org)

individual continuant ark
kenya trainmen cyanic carcinoma manuel
socket bean lasso
campsite slurry destructor
novice mildew
montage slurry s
cherzo bottleneck coarsen cadet
nurse vulpine boot mustachio
board booby glidden justinian
crestfallen anarch upstand
blowfish arcadia righteous
prospect poinsettia prolix
whimsey
beaumont
indian holyoke compile
cassock apothegm vista
backstage coolant deadline
commensurate coachmen dagger cacti

Technologies Approved by Addie Leonard (GGTKSU@wildschoenau.com)

pigment afterward cam brandy
titian jacobian mendelssohn childish
armistice roadblock tess
consignor definition
bimodal abdicate gerhardt madmen
kalmuk grownup magnanimity
osteopath cutworm
stash discretion
seacoast amphetamine crass
churn provide fro frambesia
skill ezekiel
haas snail
deodorant enormous
belie anent becky sultan
awn transpose restitution tub
craft sunshade cosh
behest irresolvable
drafty grizzly
inequivalent purchasable

Who wants to kill me?

A couple of posts ago I made public my investigation into who or whom had cut my brake lines and caused my to have to deliver my vehicle into the shady arms of a local mechanic. Of course of the suspects listed not one actually committed the act, however I have not ruled them out as an accomplice.

My mechanics investigation deduced that recently I had replaced the ball joints on my Chevy Blazer. During this process the wire "may" have been jostled and loosened enought to allow for the brake fluid to begin to leak out. Who you may ask would be the one to have performed this ball joint "maintenance". Why only the father of my wife RICHARD L.!!!

It now becomes almost too painfully clear. Richard is recently retired. What do recently retired people suffer from most of all? Boredom and empty nest syndrom. With me out of the way my wife would have no other choice but to return to her parents home. While I will never bring knowledge of my investigation to the proper authorities believe you me... I keep an eye peeled from this point forward.

Links to make you

All sorts of web developer resources
Make your own Gas
Classic diseases making a comeback
Tons of free Technology related books
The Motorcycle Airbag (a link for Yak)

Videos for filler

Heres some videos that rocked my world. Bruce Lees one inch away punch, First video of the sentinells from X3 (definetly an uber nerd experience), and speaking of Uber-nerds I have included a funny video of grown ass people immitating the dancing styles of charachters from World of Warcraft.

If you actually made it through all the content in this post you can thank me for wasting an hour of your life in the comments.

Big Friday!!

2006-04-28T12:41:00.000-05:00

As always it is a pleasant thing to find your self at weekends door. Today we will hopefully see the culmination of several key topics in my volatile life.

To dog or not to dog.
Is the busted car worth fixing?
Is no news good news from a doctor?

Out of those you can assume that the third holds my highest level of priority.

If it appears I'm grasping for straws for todays content your more than right. I haven't learned a good life lesson, I have not had time to scrutinize pop culture. I've worked like a dog and came home to recoperate and watch some tv shows that I won't remember a thing about the next day. Is this lifestyle the gateway to middle aged, or was it just a mid week slump?

Validation of my poverty

	Upper class	Upper-middle classs	Middle-middle classs	Lower-middle classs	Lower classs
Proportion	1% to 3% of the U.S. population	10% or so of the U.S. population	40% or so of the U.S. population	30% or so of the U.S. population	20% of the U.S. population
Net worth (not including home)	above $500,000	between $250,000 and $500,000	between $125,000 and $250,000	$50,000 to $125,000	$0 to $50,000

The facts dont lie. I know this is a blanket regional statement that takes no account of COL by county or inflation or estate wealth, but man do I feel like a broke chump when I look at this.

Spammer Poetry

"Do you know I love you" by Phoebe Salter (wiodehjbjja@geeks.com)

hedonist sao latch andover
altercate cousin atrophic davenport
cent stew tucson scold fledge dawson
advantage embroidery bijective plethora
ace polish
virtue armload
gentian configure mail drift liniment
quadripartite bastard
encomium franchise evasive h
ourglass lunch eocene
inseminate ama lumbar coke clearance
blond churchillian chat churchyard
galapagos rogue hydrocarbon estonia
intervene
accumulate
balustrade psychic eject coed

Final Thoughts

Unwanted Opinion: The Nintendo Wii (pronounced "WE") is the dumbest console name ever.

Follow up: I will feel almost too embarassed now to mention it in conversation. Example:

Hey man did you pick up your Wii yet? I can't wait to get my hand on a Wii? Think I'm just going to play with my Wii tonight. I've played with my Wii non-stop since this morning. Hey man, you should come over tonight and check out my Wii.

Unwanted Opinion 2: Oh, is that a thinly veiled collection of genatalia puns? You're better than that.

Follow up: No I'm not.

Someones trying to kill me

2006-04-27T14:16:00.000-05:00

The morning begins rather uneventfully, 15 minutes to shower, 10 minutes to dress. Weather war car lights up, pull up to the intersection and uh oh look who doesnt have the power to stop. The answer is me. I have not had the opportunity to inspect but since I love wild allegations lets list posible suspects.

1. Joel B. - Long standing blood feud.
2. Jayson J. - Canadian and prime evil with a side of ska.
3. Tiffany - Long suffering WOW widow.
4. Chaoslord - I took his EF boots. He only came for the EF boots, unfortunately I was there and hes an alt.
5. The neighbor who doesnt like me - We all have one.
6. Daniel - I skipped out on my part time job and he had to close the store alone.
7. Aaron - Business partner who would like nothing more than to claim our collaborative project as his sole possession.
8. Yak - Cutting ties from all who would have knowledge of his known where abouts.
9. Matt Cowgirl - I stole his dead daddys jacket. I would be pissed.
10. The dead Hobo in my trunk - I didn't like the sound of his voice. He didn't like my birdlike fingers. One of us had to die.

That about wraps up possible suspects. On with the investigation and probably a 4 figure repair bill. Happy Thursday.

In a Jam

2006-04-26T12:09:00.000-05:00

Is there anything better than having a client on the edge of frenzy and then shutting them down with cold hard facts and numbers to back them up? So far I have not experienced a high like that in all my, to date, limited white collar experience.

Speaking of highs, I’m beginning to get the MBA itch again. A very pleasant night had last night that involved me and two others. I realized that they were both achieving a goal that I had set for myself. I want to use them as my inspiration to not stop pushing with my academics. Still I would prefer to find employment that will assist with the income and it appears that the local job market is not conducive to me keeping both my salary and obtaining these benefits. Perhaps its time to cast the net even wider.

It’s a pleasantly cool Wednesday, and life is out there for me to grab. I’ll close with what is quickly becoming my favorite segment…..

Spammer Poetry

Today’s submission comes from Bud Paige at TKEIIGWZ@dch.hcmut.edu.vn

supreme triennial bette afford rivet
alison lineup gaslight laborious
cupboard blade topcoat confound arboretum
bantu confucius gaines
apprehensive baneberry capacity caruso
pounce homeland waveform
jacobean shod crosspoint argonne auditor
barberry coextensive optimism barrage
massive baseband winfield denature
bismarck yugoslavia akron shreveport
cindy bodybuilder tattle dragnet
correlate immodest atrium dereference
bush ervin dope duma alum

Retail and the Real World

2006-04-25T13:46:00.000-05:00

Never ever ever trust retailers. Hopefully by now were all shopping online.

This September will mark the five year anninversary of me being involved with a retail chain at an at least part time basis. Now that I have almost a full year of white collar experience under my belt we can begin to compare and contrast the two professions. What seperates the retail work experience from the business world?

Honesty.

Now admittedly, I am making some extreemly sweeping generalizations here. However the lessons I have learned from retail bosses essentially summed up to:

1. The customer is not always right.
2. You are there to let the customer know how he/she thinks
3. Full disclosure of fees should never be directly stated.
4. When cornered, policy can be manipulated or intentionally misinterpeted.
5. We don't need the business of a client who doen't fully comply with our demands.

Perhaps I have had a poor experience or bad management. I dont want to come off as the jaded retail employee. Retail has assisted me through a number of the steps of life. However lets compare and contrast the lessons learned at my current employer.

1. Over communication is a requirement.
2. Even if the truth hurts it will be brought to the attention of a client.
3. Policy is an unbreakable truth.
4. The input of our clients is our most valuable resources. Identifying the trends of needs versus the flaws of our product will only make us stronger.
5. We want every clients business. The best sales presentation comes from recomendation.

Today as I handled a very touchy issue with a client who was on the brink of anger my first thougts run to the principles I have learned in retail. I want to scheme, I want to figure out a way out of this mess.

Fortunately, my thoughts returned to appropriate course plotting. Honesty prevailed, policy had my back, and a client will be retained. The sooner I can lose the retail mentallity the better. Not just in how I manage my career, but how I manage my life.

Links to make you

Ultimate Arm Wrestling
The Science behind the sound of Rice Krispies

Skills

2006-04-24T14:22:00.000-05:00

An almost too relaxing weekend left me ill prepared for the ravages of the workplace. Happy Monday it is now officially time to put both feet on the gas and drive your car off a bridge.

Today I started on a validation project that is bothersome to say the least. I would never bore with the details of date and product sorting, or referencing of claim id's but lets just say that I am not bouncing into this task with the furror of anything more then a recently fed house cat who just found a sunny spot on the rug.

It's times like these where you begin to question what you're doing with your career. I am well aware that these first years out of college are not going to always be globe trotting and hand shaking, but these task do nothing but assist in the lingering doubt that your career for a time is locked in permanent stasis.

My goal is to find that bright light at the end of the tunnel. In this rather mundane data scrub I want to find one piece of value, one glimmer of insight. It could be in time taken to complete the task to be later used in time budgeting or it could be a new method of madness that helps ease the several hours of line study typically before me.

And with that I should go. Im starting to use my penchant for rambling to allow myself to deviate from task. Perhaps that is todays lesson learned.

Moments of Terror

2006-04-21T11:14:00.000-05:00

A very interesting 2 days these have been with the general theme being the gasp of terror and the release of triumph.

Wednesday, I am training a new Jr. account manager on reporting. It typically takes me an hour and a half to get these reports from raw data to client ready. Were slightly under the gun, so I schedule a generous 4 hour block of time to accomplish this task. I felt the large block of time was necessary in order to answer all questions as fully as possible. Also she was not the most Excel proficient person.

We are doing well, finishing up the report, we have a full hour to complete our task. We took our time, I fully answered all questions and then it happens. A moment of terror, her foot slips as it had been laying idly on the top of her pc. The power chord is pulled from the computer. I, in all my professional wisdom, had failed to enforce the cardinal rule, “always save your work.”

So now it is show time. The report can not be late the client often treads a razor thin wire between adoration and panic. So I roll up the sleeves, kick the trainee off her terminal and bust out the entire slew of reports in 47 minutes definitely eclipsing my past personal record.

The headline for today, part of my routine web maintenance is to update the content that is dynamically created in .pdf form on a clients web site. These claims are also used to send to our data processing center in order for them to accurately validate claiming and correctly pay out end- users. I get word from my boss that the processing center is saying that they never received updated claim forms since last February. A moment of terror begins.

Not having updated claim forms holds a number of repercussions. Financially, it means that claimants were possibly not paid out correct sums. Correction of this error would require a large mount of man hours for validation as well as cost of under funded claims. Secondly there are legal ramifications, if end users had been denied falsely using outdated terms and conditions we would be liable to pay any fees in small claims court. All of these fees would come directly out of my profit and loss statement, and my past client would likely get hits on the almighty Better Business Bureau report. Which if you do any work in retail and distributor channel management taking a BBB hit is equal to blasphemy to a Christian.

So you can see why the walk back to my desk was a shaky experience. My brain immediately begins to work on how to spin the situation into a viable means of holding my employment. However there is no option. It is a black and white issue, were documents sent or not sent?

Vindication comes in the form of a sweet sweet email sent in the appropriate time. I forward it and run to my bosses desk and am greeted with a thumbs up as she is already on the horn to let our processing center know that it is time to reach deep and get their accounts in order.

Finally, I went in for a series of test on my heart yesterday. I had held a fairly casual demeanor in regards to the entire experience up until I am lying topless on a doctor bed with 4 electrodes painfully stuck to my torso. The moment of terror bursts its way through the doorway of my at times over anxious imagination. A thousand panic scenarios burst its way into my head.

Tests taken and I am still here. In fact I hit the driving range that same day and smacked a monster shot a distance of 200 yards in the air. I get test results next week and God willing we can complete these moments of terror trio with a final and greatest of all moment of triumph.

Sellout

2006-04-19T09:51:00.000-05:00

Work has me by the neck. A software driven company where I manage the results provided by our development staff. When the development staff does not get their work done I'm still the first line to take blows from my client.

Today we had the wonderous case of the missing email. I stayed late last night to help accomplish a task. Of course despite my enthusiasm I am told that progress was not made and that the SQL files has not been sent to the server admin. He leaves and I vent my frustration on my cubicle. This morning we have the grand discovery of the missing email and of course the swearing up and down that it wasn't in his inbox the night before.

So now everything is code red and we scramble to pull the miracle out of our hat.

Coke makes Jack sell out?

Once in an interview Jack White of the White Stripes said he would never allow his music to be used for a commercial product. Money changes everything.

Links to make you

Since were pressed for time I will direct you to web content that could be benneficial.

Americas Secret Plan to Attack Canada
Maps of Religion in the United States
New Meat Eating Dino Discovered

A little slice of nostalgia

As a child I dreamed of owning a Nintendo Power Glove. If you dont know what that is here is a video detailing all of its glory.

I will be out tommorow for heart testing. Have a happy Thursday for me.

Anniversaries and breaching the void

2006-04-18T13:56:00.000-05:00

Anniversary

Last post was my 30th official post! That means 30 times I have gone to mother internet thinking that I had something to say. Even better, I probably actually did have something to say once or twice. Ah self depreciating blogs and humor..so original!

Onto physical pursuits!!! I have setup a new game with myself, where I closely monitor my lunchtime eating habits and then try to burn the calories off when I get on the elliptical at home. So far the scoreboard reads intake/burnt 580/200. My ultimate goal is to burn off 1800 calories a week. With an average lunchtime caloric intake of 2400 calories.

Unhealthy!?! Probably, multivitamins and water for the win. Besides I really could use some weight loss. So a few weeks of this probably will do my body good and then I can try to coax myself back. To burn 400 calories will probably take about a little over a half hour. I'll be proud if I go 20 minutes which should be good for about 250-300 in total caloric burnination. If I begin to have deprivation hallucinations I'll be sure to tell you about it.

As far as motivation? If i can keep up the 1800 a week burn for 4 weeks, I will buy myself that Vocal training course I have been eyeballing for some time now.

Breaching the void

Speaking of which, I came SOooo close to actually getting up and running this morning before work. I actually got up at the appropriate time. However I went back to sleep. New plan: Set my alarm clock back an additional 20 minutes.

Apparently I have become a snooze button aholic. Which is a habit to break at a later date. For now were just trying to get into the habit of exercise before work. Just as a side note, should I ever get my sleep butt up, calories will not be judged nor entered into the contest that I listed above.

Final 5 thoughts

Business opportunity: I would buy a Bible if it had been translated into modern ebonics. (insert cheap joke with bling, ice and shizzle here)

2nd thought: The Bible is a long manuscript and the joke would probably get old long before you got to any of the good stuff.

WoW opportunity: Hoping to see myself cracking the top 300 in pvp'rs today. Official rankings should be posted soon.

2nd thought: WoW is taking away valuable resources. Next time your in a jam for money use it as an excuse to cancel your monthly subscription.

3rd thought: Never allow yourself to be in a jam for money.