Call me Smokey

So it was the typical start of an office day. A small fire leapt into my bosses cube causing a brush fire, which burned to my bosses boss causing a forest fire. The Boss comes to me in a panic and lets me know that things are hot damn you Hot!! I tell her what I need and she herds off. 3 hours later she comes back and we have this conversation.

Boss: Hows that report coming?

I: Still need that thing.

Boss: Why didn’t you escalate this to me?

I: We talked about it 3 hours ago.

Boss: You made me aware of the situation but you didn’t let me know that it still was an issue.

I: I told you an issue and what I needed. This is the first I am hearing from you since.

Boss: You need to keep me more in the loop.

So this went on for a while and it became more evident that this was becoming a bigger and bigger deal in managements mind. The flames burned ever brighter. However here I am at the end of the day sitting feeling like my name should be Smokey the Bear. Issue is solved bad day averted.

Sometimes nothing feels better than pulling yourself from the mouth of flames.

Final thought

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

Drama

Since boy first met girl drama was born to the world. Despite our recent advances in technology scientists still have not found a viable solution to the plague that seems to strike us from the womb. Drama serves a valuable purpose in our life, filling our hours of water cooler time with topics above and beyond the day’s events. The he said she said serves as valuable fodder for an entertainment industry that slowly lurches towards a balance of pretentious lunacy and viable responsible actions.

Yes your wealthy yes you have a right to use your wealth to communicate a message. Yes you should attend to the causes you believe in. No I don’t really need or care about your views. No I am not really interested in what you have to say. No I don’t think your educated enough to make an appropriate decision on the topic.

A problem lies within drama as it seems to cascade down onto the general populace. In fact there is no seems there only is. The joy of the internet has provided is the veil of anonymity. From the throne of the almighty people are freed to embellish upon us their wisdom and venom. I present to you simple steps in order to argue on the internet:

1. If you disagree with someone, insult them. Good insults include: fanboy, commie/leftie, redneck/hillbilly, or any reference to the poster's mother or size of genitalia
2. If anyone disagrees with you, see point 1 above. Additionally, suggest they should move to China/North Korea/Nazi Germany, where they wouldn't be allowed an opinion.
3. Prevent any rational discussion from starting by pre-emptively attacking people before they get to answer. For example "go ahead, mod me down. Anyone who agrees is a stinking [insert insult here]"
4. Don't let facts, figures or other such bizarre notions get in the way of your rant. If you choose to use any facts, quotes or other material, just pick out the bits that "prove" what you think
5. Be inconsistent and self-contradictory. This makes it more difficult for anyone to make sense of what you said and attempt to counter it.

In my life to relax I play with an active group of around 80 people doing online gaming. In the game as in life might makes right and large numbers of people are needed to achieve goals. The coordination of these efforts are reserved for popular members of the group who seem to excel at administration, problem solving and diplomacy.

Again the same as life there are a group of people who pursue this endeavor with leisure and there are those who pursue with vigor. It is the vigorous who often feel that they are dragging the leisurely with them. It is near impossible for a vigorous person to understand the point of view of the leisure. The leisure often understands the point of the vigorous but don’t really care even though they may express that they do. In this case it is fair to say that the 80/20 rule is in full affect. 20% of the membership is providing 80% of the resources and content for the group.

So where is drawn the middle line?

A lawyer would look at things that have been agreed upon by the community. In this group of people an agreement has been reached which by my interpretation seems to favor a leisurely pace. All members both leisure and vigorous have signed an agreement to these rules.

A lawmaker could view the issue in a more progressive way. If it wasn’t for the vigorous there would be very little reason at all for their to be a community. The vigorous in fact are the providers to the community and therefore should rightfully be given the task of setting the pace. The vigorous’s goals are not to alienate or infringe on the rights of the leisures but rather to grant more opportunities for all.

Clearly there are no easy answers, in fact management gurus across the world and time itself have tried to find the solution to the riddle. It is my belief that in these times there is a need for team leadership to mitigate the compromise. Typically this is influenced by renewed goal setting. Removing some resources by diverting them from one objective to the next or focusing fire. In this case it may be a need to evaluate what will bring in more bang for its buck.

Unfortunately these types of decisions tend to defer to the leisure’s which will not at all provide any form of motivation to any party. The vigorous feel betrayed and the leisure’s are placated. In the big picture both vigorous and leisure are replaceable. Despite their efforts the grind goes on with or without them. In this membership and similarly to the real world; people come people go but the motion never stops.

It boils down to leadership. Leadership will make or break the organization. To be continued..

Protect me from what I want

As my head hit the pillow last night the last embers of fading ethos sparked a comical idea. "If theres a power outage I'll have an excuse to not go to my stupid 8 a.m. meeting." Fate played its cruel trump card and delivered unto me the exact scenario. However upon achieving the situation there was no whimsy. Not a moment of delight. Rather, your hero found nothing but stark terror creeping over every waking inch of his spine. The only comfort was that my bodys superior attunement had given me at least a small amount of opportunity to actually be there in time by waking me at my normal rising hour. However for the Thursday meeting I typically have to wake a full hour earlier. So you can see the dillemma.

Bullet shower taken. I hopped in my golden chariot lips pursed with the sneer of a veteran sea captain. Charging up the banks of the western suburbs superhighway I was greeted by a slew of vessels all gripped in community gridlock. Yarr Matey!!, I screamed as the poor weather continued its thunderous symphony upon the roof of my car. From side to side a steered my craft. The 12 year old engine sputtered and roared angrily as I pushed it to the limits of its operational functionallity.

Fierce winds howled all about me, it seemed a thick fog was slowly encompassing the entire ship. A fog? NO, it be the internal temperature of the ship causing condensation within my viewing ports. I reached for my pack of tobacco courage and contemplated the dillemma. Seeing no other option I furiously forced down my port side window and stuck my dishevelled head out the window in order to continue my journey. A blinding spray caught my eyes and doused the interior of my ship. Channeling the spirit of Commodore John Paul Jones I looked for my opening.

The slew of other vessels began to thin with only 10 minutes to go till my meeting and still 6 miles out from the shore. I pushed the engine to 65 knots or 75 miles per hour for you land lubbers. A monstrous merchant ship rose up on my aft side and tried to swipe me. With a measure of skill and blind luck I swung behind him and navigated off the great highway.

I pushed through the straight of 53, a cursed place it is! I drifted through the shores of the mighty Algonquin! It was there that I saw my port! Land Ho! I screamed at the top my water and tobacco filled lungs. As soon as she beached I lept from the soaked and tired vessel. I decided to risk offending the gods and lady luck by abstaining from taking the time to recite the sailors prayer of thanks for safe journey.

At full sprint I quickly reached the hut where all the tribal cheiftans met. Thankfully my profficiency in sailing had only cost me five minutes of the meeting. My abscence was not mentioned in any form. I spoke no more than 15 words during the next hour and a half. As I now have the chance to reflect I wonder why I did not just call in sick.

A great time to be alive

Have you noticed a trend lately? This trend is found in our news and the reporting. Todays drudge report's top headline "Power Holds as America bakes!!" Last night on CNN i saw a report concerning the warm temperatures across our country.

It's summer. It's warm. Apparently there is some sort of war going on, but forget that. Dude its frickin warm here in the states.

Some would cry out but it's hot! Record breaking Hot!

Yeah it's hot. It's summer.

When did July temperatures warrant national coverage? Will there be a news flash when it snows in more than one state at a time this winter?

Anniversary

Tommorow I celebrate the fourth year of my marriage to my wonderful wife. I can honestly say that the time goes by way too fast. With much to do today I will only leave you with a moment of sentiment. Cherish every second.

Happy Wed.

Bands that Change your Life

I would assume that most people make music a regular part of their day. It is almost unavoidable. If you plug into any major outlet of media you will hear some sort of tune whether you are looking for it or not. Music has an awesome power to affect our moods, inspire or depress our lives and bridge divisions among any divisive lines.

If you don’t know I have been known dabble in the art form and it has had a profound affect on my life. I will not present the artists, songs and albums that specifically shaped who I am.

Green Day – Dookie

Depending on your level of music snobbery I may have gone down a few pegs in your eyes. However, a little known fact about myself. I listened to nothing but rap music until I was 15. None of my friends listened to rock. In fact I was embarrassed when I told my friends that I enjoyed this music and I was soundly mocked. This album was the reason I started playing drums, this album was the reason I started playing music.

Smashing Pumpkins – Siamese Dream

This would qualify as the first defining album that changed the way I played instruments and the way I wrote songs. The first time I received this album I was getting in a car to start a road trip all the way to Northern California. It never left my cd player. I would assume that I listened to this album a minimum of 70 times that month. Seriously I did not listen to any other music during this time. I could play this album including solos flawlessly. Until I patched things up with my parents, Billy Corgan served as more of a father figure than the one responsible for my birth. I read everything listened to everything. I own every B-side every rare release. I saw their second to last show. I listened to any interview I could get my hand on. I made a video tape of myself playing a tennis racket and singing their songs which of course my parents found. My love for all things pumpkin has dramatically dropped off after I begin to see Billy in a more mature light rather than just bowing to a guitar god.

Placebo – Without you I’m nothing

In many ways Placebo picked up where the Pumpkins left off. This album in particular was in constant rotation both my senior year and again in my sophomore year of college. Sophmore year of college was the first and only time I met someone else who actually knew about Placebo and secondly actually liked this band. This is probably their best album followed closely by Meds. Whiny vocals, goth, punk, techno, pop its all here. If you listen to their songs and listen to my work you’ll see I’m nothing but riding their ideas. These guys have emerged as my new fave band.

Gary Numan – Cars (song)

This is my all time fave song. It was the first time I had heard synths used fully in a rock song. It continues to be the only song that I never get sick of hearing. This song turned me onto synth rock. I couldn’t really say more aside from gushing.

Honorable Mentions

Deftones – White Pony
Garbage – 2.0
Marilyn Manson – Omega and the Mechanical Animals
Weezer – Pinkerton
Bleach – Space
Alkaline Trio – From here to Infirmary

Leave me a comment and let me know some of your bands that changed your life.

Intimidation

Most of us do our best to put up the front that we are not intimidated by anything. As a male and possibly a female it begins around early adolescence. Around this time I realized that the people that I regularly associated with were both friends and enemies. With the bursts of hormones raging through our young hearts the games of one upsmanship began to increase in tenacity and venom. A lot of this revolved around our desires to be perceived as valuable by the fairer sex. As our bodies change we also begin to try to develop a tougher exterior in order to mask our visible weaknesses. Some develop this quicker than others. Some date cheerleaders while other create role playing games by using pen paper and construction paper made characters. Told you I was a nerd.

I can remember one such time when school had broken for the day. Often while waiting for our various means of transportation we would play whatever games children play in front of the school. On this fine occasion a girl I was running in a panic from a “love” interest of mine who was chasing me down with a dandelion in hand. She desperately wanted to blow its parachute like seeds at me. A fellow boy who also took a liking to this girl saw this. While she backed me up through the threat of ….pollination I suppose the other boy had maneuvered his way behind me. I tripped over an outstretched foot having my head soundly snap back on to city sidewalk.

I’ll never forget my first thought. I looked up into the eyes of terror from both girl and boy. Wide eyes mouth agape she continued to clutch her flower while the shadow of guilt began to fall over the face of my antagonist. My first thought was to not cry. I wanted to be strong; I had to show no intimidation. So I stood up. Quickly I felt drops of blood beginning to descend from my head to neck to back. I stood and tried to give those now gathered around me a look of indifference. However the cries of surrounding teachers had now reached my ears. I remember finally grabbing my head as the teachers rushed me to the nurse. Ill never forget my hands covered in my own blood.

I never ratted out the kid that did it to me either. I upheld the guy code. I showed no intimidation.

Now as an adult the stakes are a bit higher. If I am intimidated I am weak and I would let my clients walk all over me. Even when I agree with my clients I still have to argue with them in an attempt to show that we do not simply roll over to their demands. Through the years I have mentally told my self so many times that I now believe it. I am not intimidated.

Well yesterday I discovered something. As I sat on a deck in the sunlight I realized something about myself; I am intimidated by wealth. Often I have wondered internally how I have ended up in these places. As I have said before, growing up people from the suburbs were despised. They were the rich kids who had nicer baseball uniforms. They were elitist, they could never understand. So as I was driving to attend a party it quickly became obvious that this neighborhood lived by the motto, “a hummer in every drive way, and a bmw in every garage.”

So as I am sitting on this monstrous deck over looking an equally monstrous back yard complete with children’s bounce tent, and a horse shoe pit. I wonder to myself. How in the world did I ever get to this point and how can I stay here. I have never seen so many attractive people sipping mimosas and making pithy comments about random occurrences. One woman went into a ten minute spiel concerning using the word “ociffer” instead of officer when drunkenly addressing a public official. I’m not even kidding she was tearing the house down. She didn’t even have a decent story it was more that a friend said the word to her when talking about policemen.

These people just seem to operate on different wave lengths than myself. I have felt the same way about most Christians that I meet. Most of which is to my detriment and completely my fault. However I was intimidated by them. I felt like an outsider, I felt poor.

The obvious answer here is that what’s gone wrong is that my grounding slipped. For a moment I allowed myself to be intimidated by possessions and objects that are ultimately worthless. There is currently no happy ending to this tale. No greater lesson learned. In many ways you already know what intimidates you, it’s just a rarity that you get confronted by it especially now that I am an adult and I can build my own little bubble. I was hoping that by the time I finished writing this scattered little talk about my own little quirks that I would have a good moral or wrap for the entry. But I don’t. Hopefully you got something out of it. Don’t ground your worth on your possessions.

Weight

A new record at this mornings weigh in. With only 28 days to go until my next cholesterol test I will be pushing hard this month. To date I have lost 25 pounds by simply eating regular meals every couple of hours, not eating sweets, no fast food and no red meat. Crazy stuff.

Tommorow

We are going to look at the music that defines you. Most of us have a song that always resounded with us. I’m going to take a look at the music that made me. Join me tomorrow for a sentimental trip through my Ipod.

Long Time no See

Forgive the random timing on these posts Ill try to get a full week in next week. Oh wait nevermind I am gone thursday and friday. Well I'll try to give you at least three worthy entries. next week.

Now I can’t claim to be the pioneer of working the deal. I only emulate the stories I have heard. For this I must first give props to Yak as he negotiated this deal blindly. For myself I came in with a pseudo game plan. Here is how I got the current new subscriber deal.

Preperation:

Pen and piece of paper, last 6 months worth of billing statements.

Action

1. I had an easy in. Comcast had been wrongfully billing me for over two years. It was only a minor charge at 3 dollars a month. Since I had experienced poor service from my internet I figured that now was the best time to call and complain about that while twisting the knife concerning my missbiling.
2. Talk to a tier 1 rep who says she doesn’t have records beyond 6 months. Obviously I disagree with her offer to refund the 6 months. I get fussy and get bumped a level.
3. Tier 2 rep makes no promises but does agree to create a case for their accounting firm to look into the matter. She warns that I may have to provide a proof of purchase concerning my modem. I indicate that this is unacceptable as the installer clearly noted that I would not be renting their product.
4. Minorly satisfied I ask to talk to their technical support. Technical support guy is the technical support jerk that we all are. He informs me that quote “any service is good service”. I am thrilled with that answer and write his name down.
5. He tries to work with me on my comp but the call “drops”.
6. I call back and ask for their retention department. The tier 1 says that he is qualified to do this. Knowing that he is not, I make sure to blather incoherently about the poor service the tech guy gave until he transfers me up the line to a Tier 2 tech guy who simply asks when I would like a tech guy to come out as was my original request. Original mission has now been fully accomplished.
7. Since I have already moved above the tier 1 drek I decide to press my advantage and get transferred to their sales team.
8. I get a Tier 1 sales person to whom I state my desired offer. She claims that it is not available. I trump her by letting her know that a recent friend just got the offer. I am immediately transferred.
9. Tier 2 sales is not budging and voices begin to escalate. She asks for an address of who I know that had gotten the offer. I give it, she gives a confused statement, I silently let her words hang in the air and I am transferred again.
10. Tier 3 begins to work on my new deal. We talk for quite some time. Finally she says oh the computer will not allow her to enter my order. Clearly she is playing the “it’s not my fault its technology that is screwing you over” card. She says that my only option would be to discontinue my service with Comcast.
11. I had gone too far to quit now. So I got her name and direct extension and called her bluff. I ask her to transfer me over to whomever I need to speak with to discontinue my services.
12. At last I have reached the people I want to talk to. I begin talking to a very friendly woman and we begin to exchange some pleasantries. When I tell her the score she initially tries to be coy about the promotion.
13. I then unload on her every negative aspect of my phone trip through Comcast, I tell her about the improper billing and when I give the name and extension of the previous person who had arranged the deal suddenly the flood gates opened. Suddenly technology worked and there was no need to discontinue services. I got my new deal and all is right in the world.

Lessons learned

It was a two hour phone call but one I am glad that I made. I got 6 meg internet, a phone line, digital cable with HBO and a High definition receiver and services for a full year for only 110 dollars.

The two biggest things I have learned from this are persistence and pressing your advantage. I had been receiving poor service when I got on the phone I was given poor service. Rather than accepting it I kept going after what I wanted. Once I had achieved that everything else was just gravy. All I wanted was a small refund and a service tech to come out to my house. I got that and a whole lot more. Don’t stand for poor service. When it is given use it against them.

As a side note to this wondrous story I am making assumptions on the actual structure and tiers of their customer service reps based on my own knowledge of customer service systems.

Side notes

Aphelion if you still read this give me a call as I seem to not have your current number.

Cheers!

Birthdays

Happy Birthday Yak and America. In that order.

Today I spoke to a long time friend, we lamented the good times of the past and gave witness to the curious future that awaits us. His countdown is in it's final year and the haze of immortality has lifted from his eyes. The man was the eternal city minded folk and it is good to see that he will need to elevate his personal desire for responsibility in order to move forward in his life.

an intersting thing it is to have grown upper Low lower class in an urban environment. In many happy ways I have become what I and my friends most despised. I'm a yuppy. So long to dreams of urbane chic music dwellings. I find now that I often run and look for places of solitude rather thatn boisterousness in an effort to relax. I belive at the core of this contempt for subarbinites lurks the ever popular class envy. Suburband in rural kids are viewed as people of wealth who had all the means in the world. The great caveat of this contempt is that no where inside this does one find the courage to go beyond their means. In this envy there also seems to be resinment to ones fate.

I am certain that this is even more present for those who are living in project housing and their ilk. Despite a large portion of public funds being dumped into these environments it's still nearly impossible to convince a child that he can grow beyond his surroundings. There is a saying that irks me to this day. "Where you begin is a good indicator of where you'll end up." I have no doubt that the poor firmly believe this and then use it as a crutch for not getting things done.

I wouldnt bore you with some form of uplifting story of the girl with three legs half a brain and 5 eyes who one day became the mayor of some crap town. It has to come from inside or you have to go to the true source. I often have repeated to myself that "I am my only obstacle" to some extent this is true.

As we head into the fourth of July try to get over yourself and move forward with your life. If your sick of something being a constant in your life, work to remove it. If you are working torwards removing it, keep it up. The first half of the year has passed what have you accomplished? For some there will be clear things for others a bit less. Some will find progression some will find dissapointment. The point is that there is something there. Move forward.

Ideas for my tombstone inscription.


10. Click to Ankh!
9. It was this or listen to my Grandkids cry.
8. view the corpse at www.corpseview.com/BV
7. Get me out of here!
6. You still owe me Lunch
5. It was the clown.
4. Avenge me chipmunks!
3. Whos hand is this?
2. I've looked better.
1. See ya soon.