Weathered

So it seemed that I can't avoid disasters. My loves hard drive decided to give up the ghost at an inopportune time. Work was pounding me down with an absurd amount of tasks to complete before winter vacation. All in all this has been one of the most difficult two month stretches of my life. Each day seeming to bring a new pile on of challenges and defeats.

I think things had gone so well in the past that I had forgotten what it was like to not have things go your way. This Monday was the first date in a while where i realized.... wow this all worked out. And it was a good feeling. A feeling i missed. And now a feeling im more grateful than ever to have.

When things are down it is so hard to hold onto that optimist. And the two past months have been the definition of when it rains it pours. I probably wont be posting again for the rest of the year. So i want to tell you. If its been raining on ya for a couple of days to a couple of years. Dont give up and stick to your principles. If you find that your plans have failed adjust them but don't lose the dream.

Have a happy New Years.

The Jitters

It’s been a strange week. Work has slowed down to the point of almost a crawl. Which is good and bad. Also this week I decided to stop smoking. No slow down, no gradual removal. At 8am this Monday morning I just decided to stop. Cold turkey. I can tell ya that the last 24 hours have been pretty hard. Today I am particularly shaky, jittery and I have a ripping head ache. And as I said before work is slow. I was hoping to get lost in some great diversion. But it seems to be one of those rare weeks where I basically am just picking some random loose ends and running with it.

I’m also trying to get some personal finance matters in order which has been nothing short of uber frustrating. Why is it that just two years ago I was able to make a phone call and have my wife’s student loans consolidated in 15 minutes. Now I have to go through a series of ridiculous steps. At least they seem ridiculous compared to how it used to be. Sigh. The more I write about this the more I’m obsessing about smoking so I’m going to stop. See ya’s around.

5 out of 4 Americans do not understand fractions

A very action packed and busy week this one is. A lot of arranging collecting researching design implementing type of stuff. And that was just trying to get my WoW to work post patch!! Ah it’s a rough life!!!

Lots to cover lets get rolling…

The Jury is still out on Science

Apparently the green onions used by Taco bell on the east coast was contaminated with Ecoli. For now there is no chance that you can receive green onions with your meal at any location. I think the big story hear is that science has confirmed that the green onions found in Taco bell tacos were actually a natural plant not some rubber by product crafted in China. Sad Panda!!!

Science continued to rock our faces off this week by discovering that there may have been or still be water on Mars. Is it wrong that after I read this I looked into buying land on mars? Martian Mineral Water…. Should sell like hot cakes. Now the only question remains on how to attach a canteen to a dog’s neck and shoot him up there.

When good isn’t good enough

There are few moments in a sports franchise history where it seems the stars align. It began with an uber easy schedule. It continued with a defense returning to full health. It picked up steam as a draft pick meant for special teams turned into a star. Opponents collapsed around them. An air of invincibility surrounded them. In fact they have barely had any challengers. The one hurdle that remains. The one thing that causes us die hards to loose a couple winks of sleep each night. Inconsistency at QB.

Man this kid started out SO hot early this year. But the cocky gunslinger is a lot less appealing when he starts trying for TD’s on every throw. I empathize with the guy. He wants to be the hero. He wants to silence the critics and the boos that now rain down on him simply by him taking the field. The problem is that he is in a land of desperation. If the bears had won a championship within the last couple of years a guarantee the patience level would be higher.

In example. This year Brian Anderson started playing center field for my beloved White Sox. He stunk. He stunk out loud. And the more people got on him, the more he started adding that uppercut to his swing. He was firing for the fences hoping to smack that one ball clear out of the stadium that would shut up the critics and turn the heat off him or at least onto someone else. Well we stuck with this dude all year. Why? He clearly was underperforming at his position. It’s desperation and that’s an intangible that the Sox did not have last year. And that’s why an underperformer like Anderson was able to hover below the radar.

Now we see Rex and believe me I am rooting for the kid all out. It would please me to no end to see this kid play out the rest of the year in the same fashion he started it. However, more than I want the Rex to succeed I want the Bears to succeed. And that’s why we have to give Griese a shot. If only to look at all options before we take the field for the games that really matter.

Oh, and Cedric Benson is a tank.

The biggest most importantest news!!!

The new season of The Shield is 33 days away!!!

Trailer Trash

Go check out trailers at http://www.apple.com/trailers/

The Simpson: - It’s a clever trailer. But this is nothing more than a Dvd Purchase to me.

Hostel 2: - Creepy German overdub!!! Probably will pirate this one just like the last one.

Bug: - Brain Eating Bugs. I think the only thing eating my brain after watching this film will be the lingering pain of two hours lost.

Smokin Aces: - Admittedly I am intrigued. The only problem I see is that I’m not sure if this is a goof or a serious film. My guess is goof rather than a Lock Stock and two Smoking Barrells. Probably piracy at best.

Looks like there are few reasons to visit the theater any time soon. But there is some hope in the theaters right now…

For your Consideration

Best of the pretentious series since Dog Show. However I think the formula is wearing thin. I think they had a genuinely funny idea and script but some of the roles just seemed to be done so blandly and almost too many roles felt like cameos. Just to give the type of nerd who watches the films that unexplainable rush when he see a familiar face in a film. Oh my gosh its that guy! LOLOLOL. Anyhow it’s a good funny film. Probably will be funnier the second time I watch it. I hear that it may be the last from that ensemble which is fitting considering the material. I don’t think they could pull off a better good bye.

Why I am paranoid

It comes to my attention that this week a plane was diverted due to the scent of smoke or matches lingering in the cabin. Rightfully so the plane was quickly landed and people were questioned while the plane was searched. It was then that it came out. Apparently a passenger had started lighting matches in order to cover up the odors that their body was producing.

In their defense: The passenger did have a medical condition…..
Objective response: Matches!! Fire!! Are you nuts!!!!!

In their defense: Have you ever had someone throw up on a flight? You’ll be begging for some matches after an hour of that….
Objective response: Matches!! Fire!! Are you nuts!!!!! You’re on a plane!!!!

Billboards don’t lie

I watched the billboard music awards. Here’s a list of 10 things I remembered

1. Janet Jackson opens. And doesn’t even try to pretend that she just might sorta possibily be almost nearly singing. At least have the class to hold a mic over your mouth Janet. That’s the way the pros do it. Aint that right Bono.
2. Well thank God that’s over on to our next person to yap…. Ah crap here comes Kid Rock. For someone with kid in his moniker he sure is not aging gracefully. But I guess he was never a healthy looking dude to begin with.
3. And now a performance by Fergie. I appreciated her rapping it’s a lot like Gwen Steffani’s minus talent grace vocals and beauty.
4. And now a performance by Gwen Steffani which was a lot like Fergie’s minus the plastic surgery.
5. Aw nice here comes Sulu!! Seriously he inspires me to wear white eye shadow and talk in a creepy voice. Can you imagine him ordering at McDonalds? I did and then I laughed through whatever it was he talked about.
6. When did “The Fray” become popular? Their song isn’t even that strong. I do appreciate his throw back to grunge delivery of lyrics. Not my favourite thing when a crooner piano ballad guy is incomprehensible except for his tagline. I’m going with some form of palsy as the resolution to this question.
7. I always wondered if people who sing in that incomprehensible manner are equally hard to talk to. If Tom Yorke from Radio head and Mush Mouth from Fat Albert sat down at a table would world peace result?
8. Out of no where its time to honor Tony Bennett. Who is the only Bennett I know that can actually sing. Oh TAG!!!
9. Tony B. is a classy dude and well dressed. He said some kind things to his fans I wish he would have sung a song and sent us all to bed happy. Instead we get..
10. To close the show it involved Kid Rock ZZTop and Nickleback.
1. Kid Rock – I humbly admit I enjoyed his debut but yeah I enjoyed eating finger paint as a child as well. We all make mistakes.
2. ZZTOP – Hearing them on classical rock radio reminds me that it’s time to change the dial.
3. Nickleback – Canadas worst import since Jayson J.

Final Thoughts

If you aren’t fighting the power at age 21 you’ve got no soul.
If you haven’t sold out by age 30 you’ve got no sense.
Your getting old when Saturday house parties begin to be referred to as “dinner parties”

So Much Content Is waiting for you!!!

...... later this week.

Not today. Nope I've got more guns to my head than a lost nun in Detriot.

I cross my fingers behind my back promise to bring you a column this week.

Until then be amazed by this video discussion on levitating dead girls by MR. ????

Revisit the Retro

So this weekend I found myself smoking in a garage as incense burned and attractive folk sat around in dirty couches talking away an idle winter evening. It was clearly as if someone had stuffed me into a time machine and sent me to ten years ago. Strangely this past has resumed its reign as my present. The difference??? Children. It was a joyful surprise when I first learned that our friend would have kids. Now we can see the changes. Have a cig? Don't mind if I do? Oh thats right smoke in this garage, keep the smell contained and your voice down the kids are right next door. So that strike one.

Strike two. It wasn't but just last year we were living the good life. What are you doing for new years? Oh nothing? How about we fly to Vegas? Why? Just to fly to vegas thats why!!!

This year. Yes why dont we go to phoenix for spring break. Oh that sounds great oh and lets get a cruise going this month. Sounds exceptional. Oh im going to have to see if i can get a babysitter.......... WOW. I mean frickin wow man. Kids!!! Kids!!! Now almost in sympathy we should share the burden. Why should 1 couple be screwed? Lets all tie ourselves down and share in the misery and joy. Ah freedom. I feel that i am clutching to your fingertips hanging above a chasm. The question is, are you the Stalone from the opening moments of Cliffhanger or the closing? Either way, theres no chance that I will go see the new Rocky film unless i get VERY drunk before hand.

And that my friends was the greatest literary segue known to man. Now for a quality pun title.

St(alone) in a theater...

Are you going to see this? Should this have ever been green lit? The only reason to watch in my opinion would be to hear Stalone use street slang and see how good of a shape he actually got into. Speaking of which lets just give kudos where kudos are due.

Stalone is better than you...

He's like 95 years old and hes got a 6 pack. Suck on that twenty somethings with a pooch!! This dago that wont quit or go to a speech therapist has a frickin six pack!!!

And that my friends is how you make 2 mundane ideas and stretch them to three segments!!

The Bears

Well it's now official the Bears will be in the playoffs. The question is will Rex the Wonder Bear still be throwing the ball come that time. Either way party at my house!!

Oh and I saw some recent photos of myself. All decked out suit tie rockstar emo hair. Looking drunk as an irishman on a sunday morning. Why does booze make you feel debonair? Theres no difference when putting on a suit, it just makes you look like a well dressed drunk guy. Eyes half open. Martini glass in hand. Sigh...

Baby it's cold outside

If you live in the midwest and didn't notice its cold out side you need to get off the pain killers. What made it tens of times worst was that it was 60 degrees the previous day. I awoke that fine morning to the sounds of am radio. But clearly this was a day unlike any other. It was clear anarchy had taken hold of our frozen continent. Society had broke down. Major traffic throughways were completely blocked off.

So i slept in an extra hour and the restarted my routine. Funny thing. There was no one on the road. No snow on the road. It was actually one of the more peaceful drives that i can remember. So the moral of this tale is this. Cold is not something to fear. Dont believe the hype of morning radio. We are Chicagoans and this is nothing we havent seen before.

Just a reminder for the next time it snows six inches or more.

Wicked late update

Sorry the system that allows me to post seems to schedule down time during my only moments of free time.

From Russia with Love

So what do we have here!! Murder? Most foul…. Arent spies and intrigue supposed to take place below the public radar? Suddenly we have a Russian spy turn into Americas darling and now a former Prime minister seems to be sharing his fate. Nuclear materials seem to be all over the place so what is going on? Clearly Canada is making their move. They are teaming with the Russians? Why because it’s getting cold. And their cold dark Canadian hearts desire to return to the fires of hell. And since they don’t have the resources to manufacture a shovel they have just decided to bulldoze their way down to Mexico. I for one hail our new mounted French overlords.

Wow one unfunny paragraph in and I am already stretching for material. Happy Friday!!

Baby its cold outside

Just to keep a dead gag running; apparently the Canadians also have some sort of weather ray, as two days ago it was 60 degrees and today I woke up to death destruction and an unfamiliar layer of white powder coating the surface of the earth. Now many of you when you see snow decide that you can make the same movements and lane changes that you do in normal weather. The looks on your faces as I pass you tells the story. I can see the dead, vacant look in your eyes. You gambled and you lost. At least try to maintain some form of bravado.

If your so gung ho about getting to your destination. Don’t let that ditch your upside down in slow ya down. Unhook your safety belt. Crack your head on the fall. Baby crawl through the broke glass and plastic. Realize that you have no feeling in your legs and stand right back up again. Then remove all your clothes and start walking ‘cause you have decided that under no circumstances your are going to let the snow win or show any one else that you are concerned by its presence.

Nerd corner

Start > Run > type “perfmon.exe” > Ok *cool pre-installed system monitor*

Final Thoughts:

1. When did Mel Gibson go from bad ass to pretentious crazy?
2. I was glad we were on the phone when you told me that you did nothing but play with your Wii for the last 3 days.

Now 'Tis the Season

Not working makes me not want to work. The holidays were nothing short of fantastic from a relaxation perspective. Hope it was great for all of you as well.

Now we settle into to prepare for financially affording Christmas. I don’t know how some of these larger families handle this. Do you set up a specific Christmas fund? My gift to myself this year is the reduction of debt. Which will go nicely with the new savings account I gave myself for the birthday. I’ve come to a point where I have all the toys I need and now I’m just trying to find the peace of mind from living as debt free as possible. Damn you student loans!!!

I wish I had more to write about for you but the last couple of days have been nothing but learning tech junk which would provide some mind numbing commentary for this blog.

The bears lost which always depresses me for a while. I'll try to chipper up for you before Friday.

Should I be troubled?

Well another month another senior management staff bids adieu to the company. At this point I have to wonder if I really want to be known as a well paid employee in this establishment as it seems that their average lifespan is but a brief gasp. So now the question looms.. Do I keep reaching for that brass ring or should I cut and run? I am seeing the flaws. The malleable and poor pricing of services. The indecision of new infrastructure improvements. Where does it end and do I fit into this shredded puzzle?

Strangely it energizes me as I feel that the opportunity far out weighs all the klaxons ringing death in the back of my mind. I believe that I am in the midst of some very talented minds but checked out people. I can see this as even minor progression of initiatives is given abundance of praise and regarded as initiative. In example. I should really take the time to rewire the entire joint as it has lived through at least 5 – 6 years of patch work and sloppy networking. I redid one section and was treated as a visionary. Nothing really moved forward no gain was had. But ya know, it looks like someone is actually in control of that section and I guess that comfort is all that’s needed.

Which is an interesting environment as it has recently shown me that once and a while I can still get a chance to slack off. I’m only making future trouble if I do but things change a lot when you come in for a mission critical, everyone must work Saturday and find your Quality and Assurance manager engrossed in a game of solitaire. Ok then, guess I don’t feel as bad when I take the time to update this joint. So now I wait for the next bright eyed visionary to get hired whip people into a frenzy and then realize hes fighting a losing battle against a CEO that does not conform to notions that are lodged in his brain. I will continue to amuse myself by collecting paychecks and knowledge.

Someone’s trying to kill me - the revenge

So for consecutive weeks I have risen on Monday morning to find my front passenger side tire deflated. This can’t be coincidence. Again we need to compile a list of suspects.

1. Mark P. – my boss from my second job. I left him high and dry for the busiest season of the year. Even worse a mini revolt of the “old guys” is forcing him to have to hire a bunch of noobs.
2. Sharon H. – this poor darling has now been forced to pick up all of my client management work in the light of my career change. Oh and did I mention I had completely checked out on that line of work? She inherited a mess.
3. Mordecius – Have been regularly owning his casual raider ass across a message board and I’m not apologizing sucka!!! Owned with easy!!
4. Telecos salesmen – Yes I inquired no I don’t want to hear from you anymore. Broke more than a couple hearts of the last two weeks.

Gaming

Ok so I play wow. Wow is a mmo. It’s incredibly fun. It’s incredibly repetitive. MMO’s always degenerate into more of a social experience rather than a game for me. If you play the game to “win” … Sorry you lose. This is not the genre for you. So too often in WOW I have heard from this group of people that say “I like to play solo” or complain that they should not have to group up to get the best rewards.

To all of you out there who hold these beliefs I now ask. Please leave. Get out! This is not that game. This is not a single player game. This is a game to play with your buds or to make friends with people of the same interests. This is not a genre for solo. It’s in the title of genre. Please stop trying to change my game. Please stop calling me an elitist because I can find 40 people who don’t play the game the same way as you.

Please don’t say its not fair that you don’t want to be social in a genre designed around community. Not loot!! Loot comes with the community!! If you can’t be a part of a new community play a single player game and role play till your hearts delight. Please stay away from my genre. You and the rest of us will all be happier.

Mike Tyson is better than you…

He has somehow managed to restrain himself from killing Don King. A feat the gods dream of when they talk of legend.

Give thanks….

In the spirit of the holidays lets give thanks..

… that I am not married to a scientologist.
… that The Shield will be back on the air soon.
… that the Chicago Bears have won at least 2/3 on their road trip.
… that Shamans will be able to two hand dps.
… that people are looking to laugh so desperately that they started laughing at Michael Richards every time he choked up while apologizing.
… that the over saturation of Sasha Cohen has ended.
… that Barak Obama is here to save us all.
… that Jesse Jackson will be there to stop Obama.
… that Bush will be blamed for it all.

Happy Holidays folks.

This Fire isn't Passion

Typically I start my business day with a nice quiet look around the local newspapers followed by a glance at CNN and Drudge. By the time I’ve satisfied the news appetite the remainder of the office staff has filtered in and its time to go to work. Yesterday, just as I snuggled into my leather desk chair with an ice cold diet coke I was startled by a string of words that would have brought soap to mouth if my mother had ever witnessed me personally recite them. A few more were flung in there that hopefully my mother will never hear nor understand in her lifetime.

So I spring, as quickly as a tired mid twenty year old can, from my chair to look into the disturbance. For those of you in non technical fields I will give you a little history in regards to the subject matter. Computers + No Cooling = Bad. So it appears that the air conditioning that controls the temperature of our server room had given up the ghost. I enter the room and see and hear the flashing lights and screams of a computer roasting itself alive. The room itself gave off a heat so terrible that I almost had to take off my sweater to remain comfortable. The HORROR!!!

So we start popping out roof tiles and I run around the office where strangely enough two ladies keep fans. Ladies any reason why you keep fans in your cubicles during winter? Meanwhile my boss has literally ripped a cardboard box in twain and has begun a quest to personally fan the air right out of the room. A now sweaty and red faced man greets me like a saint as I bring him two floor fans and we get those babies pumping enough to cool the room by..5 degrees. I now am under the firm belief that while home computers use electricity business application servers actually run on molten lava delivered straight from the fiery pits of hell. So once again I have to bring the heating and cooling professionals into my life in order to resolve an issue. It really grinds my gears.

Good times are here again

So it’s a new week. A better week. A busy week that is bringing numerous waves of both paranoia and triumph. Hello all thanks for stopping by.

Divorce

So it was bound to happen. The Democratic Party finally proved that as long as you just complain enough you don’t need to actually have a real vision to come into power. I am both happy and disillusioned with my party. Maybe politics in general, however the Republican Party had to go. Now there is an example of loosing your vision. Maybe they were just missing that under dog scrappiness they had for so many years. I do know that if a ruling representative body promises a variety of topics yet only actually achieves a few it’s only a matter of time before their constituents decide not to make the trip to the polls. Honestly though if the Democrats had not won I think they should have just dissolved the party. If you couldn’t win under these circumstances you truly have been exposed or should I say identified as a party without an agenda. I’m not saying that we actually do have an agenda aside from Republican hatred but I guess we ran under the “its nice when other folks get a chance” motto.

I had a really clever analogy to go along side America divorcing the Republican party and Britney Spears dumping KFed but.. I am lazy so here are some cliff notes.

• KFed knew all along that he was on borrowed time
• Fiscal responsibility
• Britney has not aged well
• War in Iraq
• Who will protect the children
• A leather chaps wearing midget eating ice cream out of his hand
• Text to inform of divorce and the chance of voter fraud
• In the end it will just make some lawyer happy

Bears

Nothing better than a statement game by whupping a good team in their own home. I’ve been stating it weeks but if you are not watching this team you will miss out on valuable high fives and beer. Week 13 is the official last week of band wagon jumping. If you’re not on by then be prepared to have some drunken Irishman call you a poser. That drunken Irishman will be my friend Drew and he’s a mean drunk when he’s sober.

Theater

Have to say Borat is one of the few episodes of life where you could litteraly hear the audience gasping for air. I was also surprised by the makeup of audience. I expected the normal fair of college/post –college crowd that seems to dig the same films I do. However Borat was littered with… the elderly? I didn’t know how to feel and I made sure to observe their reactions during some of the more “risque” scenes. Having been a long term fan of the character I knew there was a lot more than what had been paraded around the local talk show circuit the last couple of weeks. Any who I predicted some walk outs but saw none so kudos to those who are old in the face but young at heart. Unfortunately now we are going to be subject to a host of imitators and comedies that will try to mesh real life with staged comedy.

Mike Tyson is better than you…

He can bite a mans ear off and still be interviewed as a rational human being. Oh and p.s. the man once owned white tigers and now he owns pigeons. All the while he’s still smiling. Mike is a role model for optimists.

Eternal Youth

So this weekend ends the anticipation as the new Nintendo Wii will become available to the retail public. For quite some time I had my leather hands clutched in anticipation for this device. However I had to blow my “fun” money on a new part for the heater which leads us to…

You know what grinds my gears….

You know what grinds my gears? The heating cooling industry. Why is it acceptable that a device that costs so much and that only gets used 4 months out of the year break down ever 3 – 5? My car I can accept I drive that thing to hell and back on a daily basis. But a heater? Seriously you get 8 months off each year how can a fan motor go bad with so little use? And it’s a FAN motor why would that cost me over 200 bucks? If it was that monster hunker that actually sits in the middle of the unit I could agree. That my friends looks like a 200 dollar part. But this fan motor seriously looks like it came right out of the back of a PC. Its mostly made of frickin plastic! How does that cost so much. Seriously I want to Bobby Knight this contraption and tell it to suck it up and get back to work. Thx for letting me get that out.

Final thoughts

1. Your opinion being valued at work has its value and its downside.
2. If you’re going to lunch with programmers don’t expect your sports analogy to ring home.
3. Apparently every thing in the world that you do as a sales man is either a tax write off or a business expense.
4. Never take a lunch without bringing a sales man with you.
5. Giving a dog a hair cut is harder than I thought.

Vote today!

Vote or end up like my Uncle Ralph. He didnt vote and he runs his own business now. Many would consider him a success but not me. Guy never voted in his life what a loser. Oh sure rub the independently wealthy card in my face Ralph. Yeah well at least I made my voice heard ya three button pin striped suit wearing hippy!!

And here is guest star Faith Hill showing how to react when you lose.

Kerry for President?

You have to love this magical time of year. Just how the heck did Limbaugh and Kerry end up monopolizing every moment of my news watching experience over the last few days? If I was a politician on either side I would be pissed. Here you are, you worked and struggled. Fought for what you believed. You need all the attention you can muster. You need all the help you can get. Oh wait, here comes two guys who are not even running for office this year, who ran their mouths and now its all people can talk about.

I know in the hype machine life there is no room for a who cares mentality. My two thoughts when I first heard the commotion for both topics was. Oh, he really said that… well that’s kind of dumb. Now why do we not have any more bottled water in the fridge?

I should consult with the elderly but was there ever a time when political races actually featured the people running? Seriously If I watched my local news I would have no idea who’s even running but by God I should be so outraged that some pundit made an off color comment. I guess I should have followed my own advice and away but I have always been a sucker for hyperbole. Just remember to vote.

The power of the head nod

Is any other non verbal emote more powerful than the head nod. It signals acknowledgement, understanding, agreement, etc… I have been nodding my head a lot lately but mainly because I’m acknowledging understanding and agreeing that I have no idea what is going on. I have lately been tempted to start tossing random acronyms out there whenever I’m in a discussion with someone with whom it’s become clear has lost comprehension of the topic. At least that’s the way I feel sometimes. Man now you’re just screwing with me.

Everybody Party!!!

So it’s with great expectations that we go forward into what may be the last great party of the year. The classic Anna Martini party is an affair with quaint and demure intentions that some how seems to lead to a number of great stories from my collection of friends. Even better is that people seem to always assume that I had attended past events. Often starting conversations with an “oh yeah we met at the Anna Martini party last year didn’t we”. Tragically I had always managed to be inconveniently removed from possible attendance. This year will be different as I actually get to go albeit a little late. But every pleasantry has a clause.

It’s never optimal to be the last guy at the party. If you are placed into this scenario you have both good and bad options to expect.

1. Pros:
1. No one will mind if you have not brought anything.
2. Your initial level headedness will make you appear charming.
3. Drunken friends will scream out hello’s to you like you’re a returning war hero. Instantly elevating your status with the remainder of participants.
4. Tons of free drinks

2. Cons:
1. You’ll probably have a number of drinks shoved into your hand. Immediately high chance of making it an early and uncomfortable night.
2. You’re suddenly the sober responsible one. Guess whos voted to drive cause were out of (item)
3. The angry drunk will likely isolate on you as an outsider.
4. Tons of bummed smokes.

Brandons best music of 2006 awards

Stack Ranked Albums

1. Placebo – Meds
2. Muse – Black Holes and Revelations
3. My Chemical Romance – the black parade
4. The Killers – Sams Town
5. Gnarles Barkley – St. Elsewhere
6. AFI – December Underground
7. Kill Hannah – Until Theres nothing left of us.
8. The Mars Volta – Amputechture

Best Song

St. Elsewhere – Gnarles Barkley

Best use of Mascara in a video (group award)

AFI

Suprisingly better than it should be

My Chemical Romance – The black parade

Possibly written by Mexican Astronauts on a wicked acid trip

The Mars Volta – Amputechture

Blatant ripping off of the Cure vocal stylings (not a bad thing)

The Killers

Best Sing Along

Placebo – Drag

Best Emo Ballad

My Chemical Romance – Cancer

Best imitation of Queen

Muse – Knights of Cydonia

Still not ready for primetime award

Kill Hannah

Life time achievement award

Mozart

Have a good weekend folks!

~B

Miser

So today coupled with this weekend have put me into a depressed state. The good boss is gone. The weekend partying was fun but not fabulous. I just feel old. I look old. I look tired. Maybe it’s the stress that’s getting to me. I know champions rise above (so cliché) but now that I’m in the thick of it, all I can think about is getting home to my family. Not busting ass for a company I’m not sure I believe in.

I thought about taking a day off but for some strange reason the idea of making money keeps me more plugged in than it should. It just has been recently and greatly occurring to me that there has been a change. I always wondered when the change happened. Lets face it for most normal young life we are adrift in a sea of optimism. Even those with a jaded front hold onto the gleam yet will deny this till their out of breath. For many of us only childs there comes the optimism that anything is possible. While that is still true. There are days when you feel like this is it.

I’m never gonna break this glass ceiling Im never gonna lose these love handles. I will love, produce and die. Forever a cog in some terrible machine.

Man oh man. Its only day one of this workload and I’m already waxing poetic about the futility of life. Someone get this baby a diaper cause I think he’s full of shit.

In heavy rotation on my Ipod

The Killers – Sams Town
My Chemical Romance – The black parade

Worth a read

I hope you have a great weekend. I don’t have much time write today but I stumbled upon an article from longtime feminist and Radio Talk show host Camille Paglia. It’s so rare to find a Democrat who completely and eloquently can summarize my political views.

Heres the link if ya have the time: http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2006/10/27/paglia/index.html

Here’s a quote stemming from a brief portion on religion and politics. There’s even more goodness in the link. Happy Friday.

Well, as long as the Democrats are perceived as the anti-religion party, we're going to lose the culture wars……. But religion is absolutely central to this country in ways that Europe's secularized intellectuals fail to understand. I'm speaking here as an atheist who studies religion and respects it enormously. In the history of mankind, the benefits that religion has brought to society in shaping behavior and moral choice are overwhelming in comparison to the negatives, which anyone can list -- like religious wars and bigotry. Without religion, we'd have anarchy.

Religion is also a metaphysical system that honors the largeness of the universe. It's that sense of largeness, which my generation used to call cosmic consciousness, that is missing in the cynical ideologies promoted by the elite universities -- like post-structuralism, which is obsessed with politics and language and has a depressingly debased view of human experience. Post-structuralism doesn't see the stars or the enormity of nature, which for religious people symbolizes God's power. So I think that the constant sniping at religion coming from liberal Democrats is really a dead end.

But there's reason for alarm at the right-wing intertwining of religion and politics, where the Bible is seen as the prophetic master plan of the universe and where Israel as the Holy Land must be protected at all costs from Muslim infiltration -- duplicating the agenda of the medieval crusades. But to claim, as Democrats often do, that there has always been a separation of church and state in America is misleading: The U.S. simply has no official state religion. The formative influence in our intellectual heritage came from Puritan dissidents in New England. Major universities like Harvard and Yale were founded on religious principles.

Am I really that busy!?!?

Guess not, because I had enough time to write this. Hello alts. So as we are currently T minus 6 days and counting until I take over the reigns of a 50 Mill/year companies IT department lets just get it over now and scream that the sky is falling. Every frickin meeting is a new acronym to write down and learn. Not only learn it I have to know it and answer questions relevant to our setup and the topic. And for some reason everyone has turned a blind eye to the fact that I have limited experience in the business or its overall architecture. I guess a confident demeanor goes farther than I thought. I have never been one to wear my true emotions on my sleeve but I can only imagine the look that’s going to be on my face the first time I am in some meeting with the director of operations and it is revealed that the guy holding the fort has rubber legs.

The way the volume of work has been piled on I am beginning to believe that I am already fired and now they are just screwing with my mind. Trying to break me. Sigh, so enough with the pessimism eh lets hit the optimistic switch and begin planning….our…

EXIT STRATEGY

So right now I have got a good story and it occurs to me that I have raised my overall value to prospective employers. What else do employers like hearing more than the guy who got placed outside the box and was then asked to hold the whole show together? It’s definitely a spinnable argument to make and now could be a good time to make it.

Don’t look at me like that…

And for all you friends out there who are do gooders, who in the back of your mind are asking why I don’t just suck it up and take initiative and take charge. Believe me I am doing that. But let’s face facts. This company has seen 5 senior management changes in less than two years time. Often I had wondered about what they are seeing and now that I am getting a taste of that level the warning signs are becoming clear.

The Wisdom of Jarvis Cocker

Help the aged. Because one day they were just as you. Drinking, smoking, sex and sniffing glue.

Bueno Politicos

At this point from mid year elections I would advise simply to turn off the pundits. Find out where the politicians stand and vote from there. Everything will turn to spin and mud from this point forward. Don’t let it get you down. Don’t let it allow you to think of not voting.

It was as if a million voices cried out and then were silent….

So my favorite hobby had been planning a large scale update to the volume of content available in their product. Unfortunately they followed the paths of every other major software distributor and have pushed back their release date. Which is fine by me; more time to keep pushing my alts into a ready for expansion level. Also with the delay goes guild drama as suddenly everyone has a little more reason to return to actively pursuing current content. Also a post January release also means I might actually be able to get some time to enjoy it in the first week.

Final thoughts

1. Admins make surprisingly good money to take lunch orders.
2. If you are backed into a conversational corner by a question dismiss the premise of the argument. This will give you time to regroup your thoughts to address the issue.
3. You can jump whenever you’re told but eventually you’re going to come down.

Correction

So in conjunction with yesterdays post I would like to make a few notes. For one my wife was not totally swayed by the ills of the salesman. In fact once she had been brought up to snuff on my schemes she actually improved the situation by negotiating some free accessories for the new car. So a big kudos to her for the adaptability that she was able to show. Beauty and grace under pressure. Shes the real deal.

If ya don’t know no ya know…

I hope you all took my advice and watched the Bears last night. While not the epic slaughter many including myself had predicted it still proved to be one of the most dramatic games I can remember. I truly believe that if I was a die hard Cardinals fan that I would have plucked my eyes out. Then again maybe they are like Cubs fans nation wide and have leathery thick skin immune to disappointment yet porous to false hope.

Changes….part. XXXIX

So today my boss, my mentor, reveals that he is leaving the company. He gave kind words and an offer to come work for him at a later date. Even still this only means that I will be crushed by a soon coming tide of work and responsibility. I am already mentally preparing myself to try to stand tall. This is a big tree to climb but if I can climb it the rewards could be great. Stay tuned and stay attuned.

Happy Tuesday.

~B

Mission Accomplished

So after a month of work and complaining about work through blog I can finally say that the days of 1 car living are officially over. ‘Twas truly a sinister month and I’m glad to see it in the rearview mirror of my new 2007 Pontiac G6. As is the only question you ever ask beyond car details, “how was your sales experience?’ Well to be honest it wasn’t too bad. The only moment that truly became awkward was when the sales person tried to get us into a lease.

I swear to God the sales persons overall disposition changed it appeared that suddenly she became very tired, very ragged very sweaty. I wondered for a moment if I put on the same veneer when I have been trying to land a company initiative with a mark. Even worse suddenly my wife begins to side with the sales person. HA!! So I pull Tif to the side and beg her to follow my every lead from this point forward. I know the game I did sales for almost five years. I know what I want in this deal and I know that no where in that lies a car lease.

At a last attempt the sales person tells me that every time my credit gets checked it drops my credit score 5 points. So now I’m thinking of walking out as under her logic when I bought my home my credit dropped no less than 100 points as I shopped my credit to tons of banks while looking for the best deal. Much to her dismay I keep a pretty healthy tab on my credit score and found no reason to be worried. I called her on the lie thinking it would get me on a faster track to the finance officer.

For her last …Last trick she tried good old fashion guilt. She gets on the phone to “someone” and lets them know that she TRIED to offer us the best deal but we had declined and were requesting that we wanted to go with straight financing. I inform my wife to keep signing the finance papers. Sigh…

Anyways our credit gets run we go in to talk to the finance manager and we have a nice time. Making sure to hit them up for every refreshment offered. New rule: If you don’t walk out of a dealership without having drunk at least two liters of soda you did not spend enough time negotiating!!! Minor rate/bank/down payment negotiation drops the price even more and lo and behold I make it out of there with payments right in my range and a dependable car that the wife can beat up for the next 5 years.

So it is nice to actually feel like you pulled off a win once in a while. My inner cynic still tells me I was duped and I probably was to some extent, they are sales professionals for a reason. But getting that car into my price range regardless of what they made on the deal is still a win.

The battle still continues…

So no rest for the wicked. As we still have a home that needs heat. I dropped forty bucks on a space heater so at least the bedroom holds some comfort. I’m currently still trying to go through the friend of a friend route in the hopes that it’s a minor issue like an igniter or hell maybe a switch that needs to be flipped to the appropriate setting. Just to prove I am a nerd I researched the model online and started reading through the product manual. Unfortunately this only confirmed that I am not mechanically adept. So it looks like we’ll need a technician shortly as I am too much of a paranoid kid to keep using this space heater.

Da Bears!!

Oh I need this day to pass quickly so I can get a comfortable spot on the couch, some hot pizza and maybe a beer or two and watch what should be an absolute massacre tonight on Monday Night Football. I haven’t quite bought into the hype yet as our local radio stations are full of pundits spouting about a perfect season. However I will say that if you have abstained from fully committing to sports team now is your chance. The Bears are that good and the rest of the NFC Central is THAT bad. So playoffs should be locked by weekd 10 or 11. If you don’t want to be counted with the number of those that true fans tend to deplore I would buy your Urlacher jersey now and paint your face in orange and blue before confidently striding into work tomorrow.

News

Is the evening news worth watching to any of you? I know my age demographic seems to prefer there news to come from Comedy Central. Didn’t we have some sort of controversy last week? Man that died quick. Those involved and those who were directly or indirectly burned by recent scandals laid out a blue print for all to see on how to make a touchy situation disappear fast. I see it as this:

1. Acknowledge - (my bad)

2. Action - (the problem has been sent away)

3. Dismiss - (the problem does not exist any more now lets stop discussing)

I’m sure opposite party members would like this little drama to have played out until election date. They just fired their round too quick. Bad timing. Bad everything. Damage is done. Blast pattern had a solid radius but really there should have been greater collateral damage. Did north Korea run the PR on this? They seem good at creating dud bombs. Clearly the republicans are getting better at the art of firefighting. So whats next? Only time will tell but I personally feel a little dismayed that we saw the “November surprise” in early October. Now all we have left is random mud throwing.

The Wisdom of Gnarles Barkley

I wouldn’t call it schizophrenia but I’m at least two people a day.

Things to watch while you wait for the next season of The Shield…

There aren’t too many reasons to subscribe to Showtime. In fact the only reason I stumbled upon this show was through complaining about poor service to my provider. Showtime is essentially HBO without the new premiers, relevant movies, relevant series or quality boxing. However I think they have a little gem on their hands with this show called DEXTER. It is the heartwarming tale of a man who works in the forensics department of the Miami police department. Oh by the way he’s a serial killer.

It’s a lot of very dark humor as they make Dextor very likable right off the bat by having him kill a child molestor and murderer. Dextor is a monster in every way. He enjoys being a witness because going to the courthouse gives him new opportunities to find victims. Of course he the total anti hero that a lot of us geeks love. The writing is good with a lot of wink wink nudge nudge jokes thrown in there. Especially when the cops visit new crime scenes and dexter starts ranting about how beautifully done the kill was. Meanwhile all the cops around him give each other sideways glances.

Tons of funny and lots of thought provoking material regarding the idea of truth versus justice. Check out “Dexter” on showtime. But avoid their show “weeds”. Any show that warrants a guest visit from snoop dog means that they are just pretenders.

Links to make you…

Herb: Father, Gamer, Agent

Words from a wise man that I respect and work with through one of my favorite hobbies. I agree with him completely on the topic of late night miracle pills. I will however contend that the diet pills offered in a lot of those ads are great sources of energy. And while they will do nothing to help you lose weight they do a LOT to getting your mind lit up and fully aware in a matter of a half an hour. Can’t imagine how people run or work out on that stuff though. 2 pills would make my heart pound out of my chest. Can’t imagine what would have happened if I had been doing anything more than studying.

Final Thoughts

Man God bless ya if you’re still reading through all this….

1. Optimism is the hard part. Cynicism is the 8 hours watching tv while eating potato chips.
2. The government does not trust you to make decisions for yourself.
3. Don’t be afraid just because the TV tells you to.
4. Always support your armed service men and women.
5. Conan O’brien is till the best late night talk show host.

Stalled

Once more a big congrats to J and his upcoming bride.

So this looks like its going to be a disjointed post as my life is currently in a state of limbo. Which is always better than a drunken free fall, but not quite as exciting. Just as the need for a new car issue begins we also discover that the heat in my house has cashed in its 401k and headed to a warmer climate. So its double the fun right now. Man just writing that put me in a grumpy mood.

Which brings me to my latest quest….

Where the hell do I find money to pay for this crap…..

First off I refuse:

1. To take money from friends or relatives, (funds totaling more than $50)

2. To get any amount of credit card debt beyond what I can pay off in a month

3. To touch my retirement funds

So we need a car and it appears that we will need about $2,000 in down payment to cover. The last two friends who had heating issues averaged out to around $2,300 in repairs.

So lets game plan…

Priority (Car vs. Heat)

Not having a car sucks right now because:

1. Gas bills up 25%
2. Primary car now driven twice as much a day (depreciation)
3. 3 Hours spent in traffic a day due to carpooling situation

Not having heat right now sucks because

1. Its cold at night

Ok so clearly the heater issue can wait till the end of the month until we have the car situation worked out and before it becomes brutally cold.

Decision made, were getting a car.

Taking the hit…

So in preparation to lose 2 grand worth of disposable income:

1. Trim the fat; looks like I am going to give up smoking at work, and start bringing my lunches. Expected weekly savings: $22
2. Re-examine current contracts: Found a promotional discount for my sprint plan enabled immediately. Weekly savings $5

Suddenly you have an extra $100 a month

Now I am not going to lie and say that the non cig smoking and home lunch taking are definitely going to happen. But the point is the funds are there it just depends on what I am willing to give up.

Happy Wed folks don’t let the world get ya down.

~B

A Smattering of News

Jayson is back for another round of this blog thing.

So, I got engaged just over a week ago. It is really sweet, but I'm more looking forward to the wedding than I am looking forward to the planning part. Check out White Collar Moxie for all the details.

Jayson's Sports Talk

Brandon may like to talk about baseball and football, but I bring a slightly different sport to the table. It was birthed by America's neighbors to the north, and it coincidentally is the greatest sport on the face of the planet, with the exception of Jai-Alai. The NHL season kicked off last Wednesday, and my boys the Maple Leafs are off to a rough start at just 1-1-1, but they did shut out the Senators the other day, so they really are 3-0 in my mind. I joined a couple fantasy hockey leagues on Yahoo!, and I'm not doing so hot, but I'm having fun, and that's what really counts, right?

The Departed

I went and saw Scorcese's latest opus, The Departed on Friday night. It was really good. Leave the kids at home, though. When they say 'pervasive strong language', they aren't kidding about the pervasive part. Nicholson, Damon, Di Caprio, Baldwin, and Marky Mark all turned in a superb jobs in the acting department. Also, it's really nice to see that Scorcese can still make the mob films like no one else. Yak, if you read this, go see this movie, you will enjoy it.

Jai-Alai

Maybe you read my earlier comment about Jai-Alai and asked yourself, "Jayson, what is this Jai-Alai you speak of?". Apart from the weirdness of asking yourself a question directed at me through a computer monitor, I will tell you what it is by posting a quote from this website:

The world's fastest sport, Jai-Alai, offers more excitement, more action, more thrills and more fun than any sport in the world. This fast paced games stands alone on the merits of it's agile athletes who hurl a rock-hard ball, back and forth, at speeds up to 150 miles per hour! But, when one adds the dimension of wagering, with the opportunity to win up to $10,000, jai-alai becomes the ultimate sport!

So, there you have it. It is fast and people bet on it, making it the ULTIMATE SPORT.

One very bad thing

Behold your elitist American pig infidels!! I’m Brandon and welcome to the countdown to thirty.

Auto Erotica

So after 12 years of service my second car chugged its final sip of gasoline. Ah yes this 94 saturn poorly named the golden rocket will no longer be carrying me about for all the random tasks you use a second car for. So what does the loss of one car equal? 3 hours of total drive time a day for me, up from 1 hour. Also there is this fine gas bill that now is twice as much. Darn you suvs, for all your conveniences you still forget to appropriately regulate fuel consumption. So that situation is no fun but it does bring up the better topic of negotiating my new chariot with the ilk known as salesmen. You know if you look into their eyes you can see an all consuming darkness? That is because they sold their soul. For a good deal 9 point markups above dealer invoice.

Any how looks like I am going to have to sack up for this weekend and try to coerce my way into a deal.

Nerd Humor

Object reference not set to an instance of an object.

BWAHAHAHAA.....

Happy Friday

~B

4 Good things

How was your weekend? Mine saw 3 people I know and 1 person I love getting engaged and a big round of congrats go out to all of them. These are big steps in your life and I am happy that you chose to make them.

Also found out that the power of modern medicine reigns supreme as all it takes is 5mg of some concoction to keep my blood flowing smoothly through my veins. My cholesterol dropped 60 + points in just a month. Screw you diet and exercise! Give me science to cure my ills. Now I wonder why I spent 3 months out of my life eating rabbit food. Oh sure the weight loss and added energy were great but that life style went against everything my racial heritage stands for. Now I just need to pick up a velour track suit and some gold chains and I will be set to enter retirement.

Sports

Take heart cubs fans as now you get to find a new reason to suck. Sure Dusty was a pariah manager but if you had to work in that organization you would be too. And good luck to whatever form of poor schlub that gets placed in that cave. At this point fans would get Ronny Woo Woo in there and call him baseball jesus. Such is the life of the cubs fan and one of the MANY reasons I do my best to not associate with that form of yuppie trash.

In relation to teams that actually may be worth a damn. Go bears!

Bueno Politico!!

So we finally have gotten our first good scandal of the midterm election as it has come out that some dude was trying to hit up his page boy. A disgusting allegation and I cling firmly to the resolve that if he is found guilty that he should be incarcerated at 26^th and California for the majority of his remaining years. What is really interesting here is the timing of this whole affair. How long was this known about? Who had access to these private messages and from what point did they chose to come forward? That’s where the real story is but even these details will get lost in the blood bath. Rightfully so of course if he is guilty. It just is always funny how these things seem to come out at such inappropriate or should I say overly appropriate times.

Sports cliché to make you feel motivated until you stop.

Amateurs practice till they get it right, professional practice till they can’t get it wrong.

Sean Connery is better than you….

Was accidentally killed on set of the movie Highlander. Found three days later covered in dirt at a bar drinking sailors under the table. Claimed he was just method acting.

Spammer Poetry

PE enriching by sjlnxnt@csoft.net

asual discussed swingers country.
lacks drama largely facing huge declines
Europe East Asia fallen helped
maintain overall poverty.
infant unseen anywhere else developed world.
averaging slightly apiece average woman.
mask trends different abroad

Happy Tuesday

B 100

Conversions

Hello and welcome to The Countdown to thirty.

Saddle up to the table for some stubborn belly fat for the mind.

Hallelujah I’m Converted!!!

I can still remember the first time I caught that elitist grin from some khaki short wearing dread locked art student self righteously brandishing his ugly grey mactop with its strange OS. Oh for sure later on in marketing classes I would give these beasts a try only to find my screen freeze up at that pivotal time just before you remember to save your project. Up until a few years ago I had passed off on any notion I had in my tiny brain to return to this elitist OS.

Being forced into servitude by a healthy mortgage I took up a reasonable profession in which Apple products were heavily featured. Apparently Mac’s are so well marketed that every marketing firm in the world feels that they have to exclusively use their product. So, things definitely change when your boss hands you a Mac and tells you to start moving dev files between servers.

I can now confidently say that for work applications Mac’s are by far the superior choice to XP. Search Google if your looking for tech specs I’m not that guy and this is not that blog. 3 reasons for those of us that are less technical more practical.

1. You never have to turn them off. Seriously I typically get at least 8 days of uptime before I will notice any form of slowing. XP needs a daily reboot to be any where near functional.
2. Quick installation and deletion of files. Got and executable file? Drag it into the applications folder and boom you’re done. No install waits no restart your comp for app to work.
3. The dock. I know I know its just a tool bar with hot keys, but typically you only use 3-6 apps a day for work why would you want to go through a tree menu off your start bar to find some random app module? Drop it in the dock and your good to go.

Switching topics….

How can you not be excited about this upcoming Sunday? Bears/Seahawks should be epic and with a broken footed MVP you begin to wonder if this is actually the Bears year. A late game also ensures that offices across the Chicago land area will be severely undermanned the following Monday. If you catch a red eyed lunatic swerving his way around the Schaumburg area give me a wave…or a finger I probably deserve both.

More pills

Find out tomorrow if medications have kept my Italian blood from holding on to its delicious cholesterol. If stats aren’t down were upping the dosage and I’m probably going vegan. Sigh, is a lifetime of eating mulch a lifetime worth living? If my numbers do drop believe me I will be high tailing it straight into the comforting arms of a cooked medium porterhouse and a tall Sam Adams.

Losing a reader, gaining a friend…

A big welcome back to my friend Rachel who’s returning from Italy with her husband. Guess we actually have to talk now eh?

Links to other nut jobs

Blogs are serious business, here are a bunch that recently caught my eye. Highlihgts include strangely elaborate descriptions of 13 year old. Emo chicks providing bad poetry, heavily photoshopped blogs featuring Asians and other randomness.

Check ‘em out, give a hello, but for the love of all that’s sacred don’t post a link to another site as apparently as My space = pedophiles Blogger = pretentious

http://imageready.blogspot.com/
http://mypinkbubblegum.blogspot.com/
http://anistonhair.blogspot.com/
http://bulbadise.blogspot.com/
http://faithoflife.blogspot.com/
http://relfysux.blogspot.com/

Final Thoughts

1. Wisconsin is the cheap whore of the Midwest.
2. If you knock on my door at 8pm and then try to convince me to vote for your candidate and I stumble out of my house reeking of booze and cigarettes please don’t make a disgusted face. I’m still a voter and no I don’t want your f’n fridge magnet.
3. Old men who smoke should not keep mustaches. It looks like they pissed on their upper lip.

The art of taking a compliment

I see it in women i see it in men. No one knows how to take a compliment anymore. Sarcasm has infiltrated so deeply into the culture that no one fully believes in another persons genuineness. Break your olive branches people theres no room for your weakness.

Now, I understand that you have been hurt so many times by your verbally abusive father that now when ever another human reaches out to you its necessary to cower. So I have given you some fool proof steps to never be hurt again ya big ugly baby.

When complimented:

1. Question the persons sexuality.
2. Find some minor gaffe and try to turn the situation into their issue.
3. Feel better about yourself by telling them that they are full of themselves
4. Try to figure out the persons hobbies and make judgements accordingly
5. Imagine the complimenter under going disgusting acts of bodily harm

It’s a scary world out there be sure to be on the offensive at all times.

Tag team, party on!

     So now this Countdown has been joined by me, Jayson. Brandon and I are going to tear this mother up like the Bushwacker wrestlers (action figures) of old. You won't see any Kung-Fu grip on those bad boys, because they are flexing their guns, and Kung-Fu grip looks stupid when you're showing off the pipes. Just picture it with me for a moment. Ok, the moments over. You ruined it. Way to go.

     Enough idle chit-chat. I'm going to bust this blog wide open with a little anecdote. This past weekend I went with my brother, his brother-in-law John, and their friend Tom to see Sufjan Stevens in Indianapolis. It was an amazing concert, but that's not what this story is about. So, we were waiting in line before the show because we had arrived way early to the venue. After waiting for about 15 minutes, some schmuck employee of the venue comes out and tells us we need to reform the line on the other side of the door. For what reason, I do now know. Anyway, we shuffle on over to the other side of the sidewalk and by chance we are about 10 people in front of where we were. We don't consider this any big deal, and I don't think the people behind us did, either. However, the snotty indie kids in front of us decided to cry about it. Some words were exchanged, but it did not come to blows because their indie hair would have gotten messed up. I laughed to myself that they will drive right home after the show and whine about it on their blog. HAHA! Oh, dammit, I think I just made fun of myself.

    Anyway, you can expect to see sporadic postings on here from yours truly, I hope they fill your day with chocolate rainbows of delight.

The whys and hows?

So the signs are there. You think your starting to get ahead in life when suddenly your car purr turns to a roar and you feel that you could get better brake traction if you went at it Fred Flintstone style. I only need two dependable cars 8 months out of the year, but without fail in those eight months things will go wrong. Such are the choices of the loot gods.

How to write for the internet

The question has been raised on how to blog or provide columns. Its really quite simple

Start by saying who you are and where your at. That way everyone knows that your going to own them in the face and this is the place to be.

Example. Hello schmucks and sucka this is Drudger and your at the Countdown to thirty Blog.

Secondly get to topic. Find a subject get an opinion stick by it even if you write yourself into a corner.

Example: Sure dolphins look cute but they would stab us all in the back if they had a chance to get out of the water. Fortunately we have a large enough population of Octopi which everyone knows are the security force of the seas. God help us however if the Octopi revolt.

Third find a regular schtick and make it a regular portion of your columns.

Example: THE THIRD EYE – The third eye sees much trouble in the coming weeks for our constituents in the southern hemisphere.

See it doesn’t even have to make sense.

Fourth, Post a real life “insider” message to someone who may or may not actually exist.

Example: Yo Luke, you know how I said she never would? Well I was right.

This establishes that the poster is too cool to really be blogging. Even though heavens knows that as soon as he posts he will be glued to the screen constantly refreshing and hoping for a comment.

Finally, Sign off. Here you can link other peoples work and end with your signature catch phrase.

Example: Hey if your bored check out (link) and (link) great stuff from both of those guys. Well im out folks keep hitting the bricks. ~The caramel apple.

Boom! You are now an official internet writer. Oh and when in doubt pseudo plagiarize.

Happy Thursday

B 96

The people are told

Hello saints and sinners I am Brandon your noteworthy sham lead and this is the countdown to thirty blog.

Life recap

So with guild drama dying down, the dog relatively trained, the wife typically happy and the job situation progressing we now prepare to lie down while mother nature takes an icy dump upon our middle America communities. Ah fall, when summer initiatives are beaten down like the flash in a pan notions that they were. Hope you logged all those miles you intended to jog cause nature just gave you the ultimate excuse to never leave your house. Farewell to the sun you miserable tease.

Bien Politico!!

So another leak by our beloved CIA lets us know that if there no reason to believe that any government run organization is nothing more than a potential propaganda piece. In our age of fear CIA/Iraq is the new buzz work to make everyone stand up and take notice. For our parents it was Russia/Nukes. So we will see what comes of this if anything. Thank God its about that time for politics to rev up. Leaks, lies, posing, stances, denials accusations, victory and defeat. It just keeps getting better each year what more can happen this year than did last. Polarization baby!!!

Yet while my age bracket get all puffy and noble around this time they still somehow forget to vote when push comes to shove. I wonder sometimes what the elderly honestly think of us in regards to politics? I know my grandfathers general sentiment towards our generation is to grow a pair. “insert “at your age I was picking shrapnel out of my dead buddies arms so you kids could enjoy your starbucks and hybrid automobiles”

If you turned on any form of news outlet this week you probably got to see my hero Bill Clinton back on the air waves. The true fun of the clip is him getting angry and that of course what brought the ratings and the discussion. To my brown eyes this is all SO phony. I mean in theory this man is getting frustrated and angry during the interview. Yet, he knew where he was going didn’t he? Fox news man… marching on the GOP agenda one story at a time…. that Fox news??? Seriously with his reaction you would think he never took a tough question in his life.

Bill, you know the score, dismiss the premises of the question. Your anger only acknowledges it and lends to the thought that a nerve was touched. You’re the slickest politician I have ever seen. Big gaffe on your part. But whatever, it gets the masses talking about the democratic party again so I guess mission accomplished. Still going to lose in ’08 but from now till then it will be fun to watch them try.

Bill Clinton the man that taught me that no question has to go answered.

Speaking of old men and the weather

“There are ominous signs that the Earth’s weather patterns have begun to change dramatically and that these changes may portend a drastic decline in food production– with serious political implications for just about every nation on Earth.”

You may think that I stole that from a recent magazine but in fact it’s a sample from a magazine article from 1975. Click the link to read the transcript of a senator just owning all of our alarmist scientists and over hype hungy media in regards to global warming. It’s a bit of a read but it’s a bit bigger of a laugh.

http://epw.senate.gov/speechitem.cfm?party=rep&id=263759

Pixel Philosophy

The tauren is a wall from which there is no view around. Stand behind him in a cave at your own peril. Wise is the man who rolls troll.

The wisdom of Gnarles Barkley

Everybody is somebody but no one wants to be themselves.

Screw Job of the Week

This one goes out to my beloved Chicago White Sox. You miserable bunch of punks. How in the world could this happen? Truly a case of the stats don’t add up. What makes it the biggest disappointment is that you guys were clearly the most talented group of players to take the field on a regular basis. However you couldn’t get the job done. Wheres your killer instinct? There was none….. you screwed yourselves and you have no one to blame but the man in the mirror.

Sigh. Nothing like the highest of highs to let you know what the lowest of lows feels like. Still its better than being a cubs fan. I Think ill go watch the championship videos from last year.

Now hiring…

Do you want to fulfill your lifelong fantasy and become a self inflated pretentious blogging jerk like your hero? Drop me a line as I would like add another persons opinions in this monster. J im looking right at ya.

bvan@MTCPerformance.com

Sean Connery is better than you….

With a single laugh he can change the course of an interns destiny.

Final thought…

You can’t hug a child with nuclear arms.

Peace I’m out…

B 95