Revisit the Retro

So this weekend I found myself smoking in a garage as incense burned and attractive folk sat around in dirty couches talking away an idle winter evening. It was clearly as if someone had stuffed me into a time machine and sent me to ten years ago. Strangely this past has resumed its reign as my present. The difference??? Children. It was a joyful surprise when I first learned that our friend would have kids. Now we can see the changes. Have a cig? Don't mind if I do? Oh thats right smoke in this garage, keep the smell contained and your voice down the kids are right next door. So that strike one.

Strike two. It wasn't but just last year we were living the good life. What are you doing for new years? Oh nothing? How about we fly to Vegas? Why? Just to fly to vegas thats why!!!

This year. Yes why dont we go to phoenix for spring break. Oh that sounds great oh and lets get a cruise going this month. Sounds exceptional. Oh im going to have to see if i can get a babysitter.......... WOW. I mean frickin wow man. Kids!!! Kids!!! Now almost in sympathy we should share the burden. Why should 1 couple be screwed? Lets all tie ourselves down and share in the misery and joy. Ah freedom. I feel that i am clutching to your fingertips hanging above a chasm. The question is, are you the Stalone from the opening moments of Cliffhanger or the closing? Either way, theres no chance that I will go see the new Rocky film unless i get VERY drunk before hand.

And that my friends was the greatest literary segue known to man. Now for a quality pun title.

St(alone) in a theater...

Are you going to see this? Should this have ever been green lit? The only reason to watch in my opinion would be to hear Stalone use street slang and see how good of a shape he actually got into. Speaking of which lets just give kudos where kudos are due.

Stalone is better than you...

He's like 95 years old and hes got a 6 pack. Suck on that twenty somethings with a pooch!! This dago that wont quit or go to a speech therapist has a frickin six pack!!!

And that my friends is how you make 2 mundane ideas and stretch them to three segments!!

The Bears

Well it's now official the Bears will be in the playoffs. The question is will Rex the Wonder Bear still be throwing the ball come that time. Either way party at my house!!

Oh and I saw some recent photos of myself. All decked out suit tie rockstar emo hair. Looking drunk as an irishman on a sunday morning. Why does booze make you feel debonair? Theres no difference when putting on a suit, it just makes you look like a well dressed drunk guy. Eyes half open. Martini glass in hand. Sigh...

Baby it's cold outside

If you live in the midwest and didn't notice its cold out side you need to get off the pain killers. What made it tens of times worst was that it was 60 degrees the previous day. I awoke that fine morning to the sounds of am radio. But clearly this was a day unlike any other. It was clear anarchy had taken hold of our frozen continent. Society had broke down. Major traffic throughways were completely blocked off.

So i slept in an extra hour and the restarted my routine. Funny thing. There was no one on the road. No snow on the road. It was actually one of the more peaceful drives that i can remember. So the moral of this tale is this. Cold is not something to fear. Dont believe the hype of morning radio. We are Chicagoans and this is nothing we havent seen before.

Just a reminder for the next time it snows six inches or more.